Wow, how quickly the time has passed! I have been awful about writing, and now that this baby will be here in less than two weeks, I figured I better make this a priority before my life gets even busier.
A lot has happened in the last few months. I left Hugh and the kids at home while I flew back to Michigan for a sisters’ (plus one brother) weekend (with Hugh’s blessings) mid-August; we had a wonderful three or four days together. It is the most relaxing time I have had since I started having children – Sharon and Chris are wonderful hosts, and I never eat better than when we get together with Belknaps, Enderles, and Jana! The kids started back to school the day after I arrived back home.
Two weeks after I returned from Michigan, I received the news first that my brother David had had his fourth heart attack in 3½ years, and a couple short hours later, the news that he had never revived, and had passed away. I suppose I should have been more prepared for it than I was, but I was shocked to hear that after having seen him just two weeks before, looking healthy and happy – the same fun, jovial David I always remembered. None of us considered then that it might be the last time we would see him. Looking back, I am just so grateful for that time that we had to see him, to say good-bye without even knowing we were. I feel at peace that he was a good, kind, person, and that he loved us and he knew we loved him. We will always miss his sense of humor and his pleasant presence. I am sad that my children never really got to know him – they would have loved and enjoyed him the way anyone who knew him did. My parents were unable to make it to the funeral as logistics and finances kept them at the orphanage in India where they have been serving a mission for the LDS Church, but all twelve of the other siblings were able to make it back to Michigan to be together and support and enjoy each other despite the loss of our dear brother. We continue to pray especially for Cynthia, Jana, and John, as they feel the loss most deeply.
Life was especially crazy at home through all this so I really appreciate Hugh covering so that I could be with my siblings. The six older kids played soccer this season, so it was a bit tricky getting everyone to the cumulative thirteen games and practices each week in addition to school and all the regular stuff, but the kids sure enjoy it and it is fun to watch them. We were all ready for things to slow down, though it seems like other things seem to fill in where we thought we would have gaps once soccer ended in early October. We had new carpet installed upstairs a couple of weeks ago, and in anticipation of that I was trying to sort and de-clutter as much as I could, as well as repaint the trim while I would not have to stress as much about dripping paint on the carpet. Overall, I’m glad I was able to get as much done as I did, but my body was beyond exhausted at the end of each day, and still achy when I would wake up in the morning. I have been much busier with Parent Council/PTA responsibilities at the charter school than I had thought I would be, but hopefully that will calm down for a while.
The kids are home for the next few days for Fall Break, so we are planning to go stay at a hotel in Salt Lake City (somehow that makes it seem like more of a vacation) and go to the Hogle Zoo, since some of the younger ones have never been. My blood pressure has shot up in the last few days (as it has at the very end of other recent pregnancies) so there is some question as to whether I will need to be induced next week, but for now we’re planning to just watch it and go ahead with our plans and hopefully have some good family time this weekend. We are excited for this little baby to come, though we are still struggling with settling on a name – hopefully we will just know what fits when we see her!
Now, for an update on each of the kids…
Steven is in high school now! I have tried for the last two years to help him understand that he has to discipline himself to stay on top of his grades, and he just finished the first term with all A’s/A-‘s! I had some qualms about having him start 9th grade in Pre-Calculus (that’s where I ended high school math!) but so far he is doing well, and it would be an option for him to retake it next year without that looking too bad on his transcript. Steven has been socializing more with a group of girls lately, which is strange to me but I think a very healthy thing in that they are all just friends (though he might want it to be more at some point) and seem very comfortable just hanging out together and playing games, talking, watching movies. I like to have them here because then I get a better feel for how they interact, personalities, etc. and I’m assured that they are good kids. Steven still likes to hang out with his guy friends, too, but as he put it, “I spent the first eleven years of my life thinking girls had cooties, so now I’m just making up for it!” Steven has spent a lot of time playing music by Jon Schmidt (look him up on Youtube if you’ve never heard his stuff - “Waterfall”, “All of Me”, “Dumb Song”) and now a couple of the other kids are learning some of the same pieces because they like them so much. Of course, it might also be that they can earn electronics time by playing extra piano time, but in any case it’s nice to have something they enjoy playing.
Daniel enjoys the varied schedule of 7th grade, and like Steven, is accompanying the orchestra on the piano. It’s a great experience for them both to have to read music on the spot and perform with some pressure to maintain composure even when they make mistakes. He usually hangs out outside during lunch and comes and says hi to me and the little kids when I bring Natalie for kindergarten in the middle of the day. I wish I could help him not to be so shy - Daniel is a good, sweet, kid with a funny sense of humor – and I’m sure other kids would enjoy his personality if he would venture out a little more. Daniel will be turning 13 in a few days (on October 18th) and we plan to pick up this weekend what he requested and found in the classifieds for his birthday – a unicycle. (I told you he has a sense of humor!)
Our lives aren’t all about piano, but I have to say that I am impressed when I watch these guys play – especially Julia with her tiny hands flying up and down the keyboard. She did an amazing job accompanying the Primary children for one of the songs in the Sacrament Meeting Program. Julia is doing well in school and I appreciate her being responsible for keeping tabs on her school assignments. She has been reading tons lately (any good fantasy/adventure books you can recommend for my older kids?) She does not enjoy our current chore system of each person being responsible for a certain room or “zone” in the house for a week at a time, but she generally does it and does it well. She is helpful in playing with the younger kids except for Matthew – he can be difficult, and she gets right down on his maturity level and clashes with him. I’m hoping that instead of having lots of conflicts, these varied personalities in our family can teach us all how to get along with many different personality types. Some of us aren’t getting it so well right now!
Michael is enjoying 5th grade. He has made friends with a kid in his class who is also very smart and excels at piano. I wondered at first if they were more competitors than friends, but we have since had him over and they seem to get along great and enjoy each other’s company. Their teacher at school lets them play the piano in the classroom for the last 15 minutes of school when they have wrapped everything else up, and I think that has motivated Michael at least as much as the candy bars his music teacher gives him to learn pieces quickly and play them fast. That has become a bit of a sore spot between us the last little while as I keep telling him it’s much more important to play it correctly than it is to try to impress everyone and play it fast. He really enjoyed playing soccer this season since his Uncle James was his coach and his cousin, Guts, was his teammate (and his team finished the season undefeated.)
Alyssa seems to like her teachers at school (team teachers -Lewis & Clark- seriously!) She has made friends, and she is doing well academically. But she wakes up nearly every day (and sometimes during the night) with a stomachache. She also still gets headaches at least a couple times a week. She seems happy and healthy in general, so I’m unsure whether her symptoms have a straightforward physiological cause or whether there is some psychological component to them. I always wonder whether there’s something I’m doing (or not having enough time to do) that would change things. Alyssa spends a lot of time making things and making messes (just like I used to when I was young) – cutting up paper, drawing, etc. She is helpful as an ally to Matthew – he seems to rub people the wrong way a lot lately, and Alyssa is careful to try to guide Matthew away from trouble. He often wants her to sleep with him at night.
Natalie has adjusted very well to kindergarten. She enjoys having her friend from our neighborhood in her class with her. She often gets bored and wonders why she can’t play with friends as often as her older siblings (usually because she doesn’t want to tidy her bedroom or do her music homework.) She is our Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde these days – she can be sweet and endearing one moment and then yelling like a wild animal and throwing a fit the next. I’m trying to help her understand that she is in charge of her emotions, or at least her actions – that it’s possible to choose how to respond to an unpleasant situation instead of just reacting to it. I appreciate it when she decides to be helpful and will do the morning chores or sort laundry with me.
Matthew is a ball of enthusiasm and energy. Unfortunately, lately this has been more bad than good. He has an intense personality; he is demanding and easily frustrated. He will be turning 4 next month, and while I was hoping and trying to have him potty trained before this baby is born, it doesn’t appear that it will happen. He and Emily latched onto a stray cat that stayed at our house for a couple of weeks – as adamant as I was that I did not want a pet, I nearly lost my resolve when I saw how much they loved that cat and how very tolerant and good-natured it was to them. They had named it (Tiger) and would check as soon as they woke up and every time we came back from running errands to see, “Is Tiger home?” We rarely see her anymore – hopefully that means someone else was charmed by her and took her in. Matthew loves his BYU shirts and his monster truck shirt so much that one day he collected all the laundry and loaded it in the washer so that he could wear them again.
Emily is such a little character. She is definitely two – she has her opinions and knows how to throw a fit – but she is really fun. She talks so much and so well (at least around her immediate family) and surprises me with how much she understands, remembers, and can anticipate what is coming next. I often find her in the pantry perched precariously on a stool, snitching gum or candy. She is frequently Matthew’s accomplice in getting into trouble – piling a laundry basket full with books (and then refusing to put them away) or raiding a sibling’s room and scattering their belongings. But everyone has a soft spot for her and somehow she is quickly forgiven. She refuses to go to sleep until everyone in the house has gone to sleep and all the lights are off, and even then she growls at me in the dark until she finally tires of it and goes to her bed. I’m guessing things will be a bit tricky once the baby comes and I am up and down many times each night – hopefully she will sleep through it. She and Matthew like to look at my distorted belly and say affectionately, “I love that cute baby, Mom!” I hope they still think that when that cute baby cries and takes Mom’s attention away from them!
I should sign off now, but I promise to post an update when our little one arrives.