July 2013

July 2013 Update

Here I am again, finally! I have been THE WORST writer lately, partly because my life is busier in some ways than it has ever been, and partly because I don’t enjoy writing. Just a warning: this is an epic letter. You are under no obligation to read it in its entirety! But for my children’s sake, I have to keep some sort of record of our family life, because sadly, I have noticed that my brain puts most of its power into getting through day-to-day life and very little into remembering! I hope that even if I can’t remember as much of what happens to me, my experiences are changing me and making me a better person. So maybe I’ll start right here with difficult but good experiences. Ever since our church announced last October a change in the minimum age for young men and women to serve missions, I have anticipated that it was very likely that Steven, our oldest, would choose to serve shortly after he turned 18 and graduated from high school in May. And I’ve often heard other parents at the occasion of a child’s marriage or the birth of a grandchild talk about how the time just flies – and so I knew it was coming. But somehow it caught me off guard how suddenly, this young man who is my oldest son, and who has become a companion and confidante to me and a friend and hero and role model to my other children, is leaving us. He is going off to help people, to give people hope through the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and to be an example of living the Truth. I know he will learn things while he is serving that I could not teach him. So of course, there is no other place I would rather have him be and nothing more worthwhile I would have him doing. But I sure do miss him, and I am mourning the beginning of the end of this stage of our family life. Granted, Jonathan is still just a toddler, so we still have a long time yet with children at home, but I realize that about every year or two now one of my children will be leaving to serve a mission or go to college. And hopefully they will go out and make a difference for good in the world – isn’t that what we raise them to do? So Steven finished out his senior year of high school, suffering some major senioritis. Fortunately, he wasn’t taking a lot of classes, because the ones he took were very challenging. That last semester he ended up taking three AP classes and an independent study Physics class, which was necessary in order to fulfill the requirements to earn the Utah Regents’ Scholarship, which is potentially worth $5000-$6000 toward school expenses. Steven was given a full tuition scholarship to BYU, which he can renew if he keeps his grades up. I have had to figure out how to tread the thin line between being controlling when I want something for my children other than what they are choosing, and letting go enough that my children can own the consequences of their decisions. That said, Steven’s grades could have been higher, and Steven was pretty much just one Eagle Scout project shy of earning his Eagle Scout rank. Of course, we are excited that Steven was called to serve a mission for the LDS Church in Salem, Oregon for the next two years. We are excited to see how his specific gifts and talents will be put to use and developed over that time. We will miss his musical talents – he accompanied the ward choir as well as many special musical numbers at various church meetings. Playing the piano at home served as a de-stressor for him, and for such a logical, reasonable person, he plays with such emotion and feeling that I always loved to hear him play. Hugh and Steven performed a Rachmaninoff piano/organ duet for the Sacrament Meeting at which Steven gave his farewell talk. During his last six weeks at home before he left for the Missionary Training Center on July 10th, Steven spent lots of time with his good friend, Dawnika, and her family, whom he loves. Steven picked up some odd jobs through a temporary work service just because he wanted the experience. He also attended our Sacrament Meeting with us and then the singles ward with Dawnika most Sundays during the six weeks after he graduated. His lack of fear in facing new situations and his confidence in his own ability both scare and comfort me as I watch him enter this new stage of his life and ours. We spent a lot of time playing games together during the last few weeks he was here. Knowing our time together was almost over made that time even more precious. So Daniel, our 16 year-old, is now the oldest at home. I’m curious to see how Steven’s absence will affect the family dynamics. I’m hoping it will give Daniel the opportunity to figure out who he really wants to be. He has resented/resisted the expectations and comparisons he has felt his whole life being “Steven’s little brother” despite our efforts to help each child feel loved and valued as unique individuals, apart from what they can or cannot do. Daniel has taken on more responsibility with his siblings, and it has helped me as well as being good for his relationships with them. Daniel and Steven both worked hard as members of the high school soccer team, and it was fun for us as a family to watch them progress through the season and end up state champions in their division. Daniel was especially disciplined in his daily workouts as well as in watching his eating and sleeping habits so that he would be at his personal best. Their coaches had a great influence on them, and I as a parent appreciate the sacrifices of so many adults here in our community to help our children turn out well. Daniel has his driver’s license and got some valuable training through a Highway Patrol driving course his Uncle James got him in on. Daniel is excited to now be legally allowed to drive people outside his immediate family. He was hoping to be driving himself to a job all summer, but it hasn’t worked out and that has caused him a lot of frustration. Because I encouraged Daniel to attend a couple of youth camps/trips early in the summer, he wasn’t available when other teens looking for the same jobs were. I know it bothers him to be stuck in the house all day – as well as being stuck financially and socially, since we won’t pay for a cell phone and movies with friends and those kinds of things. He is quiet but wants to be more social than he is, and he does enjoy having some Facebook/email time. Daniel is really good at graphic design and solving puzzles, so I proposed that he figure out how to preserve all of our home videos in at least two different types of digital formats. In return, we’ll pay his competitive soccer club fees. Daniel spends much of his time alone in his room reading or playing brainy games (supposedly) on his Nintendo DS. He worked hard in school and earned all A/A-, as well as earning great scores on his AP American History test and the ACT. This week Daniel and Julia have been at EFY – Especially For Youth – a church-sponsored week full of activities and inspirational talks for youth. Daniel says this is not really his thing, but he went willingly and told me each day that it was “fine” or “goot” (German for good). Julia just turned 15 years old this week. We gave her the option of skipping the evening activities at EFY on her birthday so she could come home and do cake & ice cream and presents, and she said, “No, I’ll be fine. We’ll just pretend my birthday is on Saturday.” Wow, she is a patient girl! She’s the same girl who will get a package or card in the mail three days before her birthday, and will voluntarily save it to open on her birthday. She must get that from her dad, because she certainly doesn’t get it from me! Julia is enthusiastic about learning and trying everything. Like Steven, she is not afraid to try new things. She wants to learn five different instruments (piano, organ, violin, clarinet, and guitar,) so she decided that she would practice one of them each weekday during the summer. She hasn’t been very consistent in her practicing, but I love her enthusiasm! She finds too many things that she wants to do, so doesn’t always finish what she starts. But she is a great organizer of “Wilkins Restaurants” in which she and her cousins go to great lengths to plan themed meals, make decorations, customize menus, and coordinate all the jobs involved in running the restaurant (including cooking, serving, set-up and clean-up.) The girls invite all the local relatives, as well as an occasional family friend. It’s quite the production. Julia has been busy with some of the same youth activities as Daniel, and she will be attending Girls’ Camp in August. Julia is generally very willing to take care of some of her siblings if I need to run errands, and that makes my life much easier. It was fun to sort through her school papers and see what a good little artist she is – I would love to be competent at as many things as she is! She is also a very conscientious student, and ended her first year of high school with a 4.0. Michael is my long-haired boy. I was counting on the charter school to write him up for his violation (boys’ hair is not allowed to go past the eyebrows) and they never did, so I will probably have to suffer through the entire summer without getting a good look at his eyes. I can’t tell if Michael likes to hide behind his hair, or if he just wants to make a statement about his independence, but I figure that this issue is not as important as many others, so I’ve chosen not to make it a battle. He was named “The Human Calculator” and “Most Likely to Become President” by his classmates. Michael has spent a fair amount of time playing board games, learning card tricks (and performing them very well), doing origami, and amazingly, even reading. Michael would play electronics all day and watch movies late into the night every day if I let him. He and Julia plan to take over Steven’s spot playing the organ in Sacrament Meeting every third Sunday. He is a master Boggler, regularly coming up with 5- and 6- letter words, compared to my measly 4. He has been teaching Alyssa and Matthew piano lessons this summer, which is great because I want them to learn and he wants a way to earn money (though lessons have occurred somewhat sporadically.) Michael loves to hang out with his cousin Guts and has warmed to his little brother, Matthew, which is wonderful since they now share a room. Alyssa is my sugar addict. She asks nearly every day about buying or making some kind of treat. She is always willing to share, but I’m trying to help her change her tastes before the bad habits catch up to her. She loves to do gymnastics and has learned to do a lot of things on her own, but she is daring enough that she injures herself often enough that I don’t know if I should just let her try whatever she thinks she can do. She hates piano but could be very good at it if she put even a little effort into it. My challenge is figuring out how to get her to want to do it, because the benefits of learning to do something hard, especially music, are plentiful enough that I won’t back down on this one. Alyssa went with her cousin, Josie and the rest of the Wright family to Oregon to visit their grandparents for five days in June. She had a great time and loves to be with Josie, wherever they are. Alyssa and Michael have been trying to come up with money-making schemes which seem somewhat shady to me, like pulling apart old calendars and selling the individual pages as posters to their little sister’s friends. Creative, but I’d much rather give them extra chores to do to earn money. Natalie has been missing Steven. Steven was one of the only people in the house who did not regularly annoy her. She appreciates his taste in music and his maturity in not reacting to her impatient reactions. Natalie is very particular about her music - it really bugs her if anyone whistles, hums, or sings. She used to listen to music constantly, but has hardly turned on anything since Steven left, probably because he left so recently that it is still too painful a reminder that he is gone. At least that’s how I have felt. But it’s getting easier as we get used to the idea. Natalie likes to watch America’s Got Talent, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Studio C, and Wheel of Fortune (believe it or not) as much as I will let her. When I arrive somewhere on time, often it is due to Natalie’s prodding. Matthew loves to play with friends, but is not as motivated as he once was since he and Michael are now buddies. He loves to build things with Legos. He loves to play electronics enough that he is willing to do extra chores and even keep his room clean in order to earn time to play. Following Michael’s example, Matthew has a dozen or so silicone wristbands halfway up his arm. He recently had a nasty reaction to a wasp sting which made most of his left arm hot, red and puffy, the skin tight like a balloon. After more than two days and a trip to the doctor, the swelling finally started to go down. Now he’s back to normal, though he will likely have a similar reaction each time he gets a bee sting, so we’ll have to be careful to ice it as soon as it happens to minimize the reaction. Emily, who finished Kindergarten this year and will be turning 6 next week, loves to play with friends. She has lots of playmates in the neighborhood, so it’s hard to put her off if her first or second attempts to play with a friend are unsuccessful. I would usually prefer that she just play with siblings for two reasons: 1. Sometimes her friends are just plain mean. I can’t believe how much drama goes on with these six year-old girls! I have little tolerance for that kind of behavior. 2. I don’t know who instigates it, but I’ve found that sometimes kids do things they know they’re not supposed to do just to look “cool” in front of their friends; siblings know better what will get them in trouble with Mom. Emily loves to dress in skirts and dresses and girly things. She reads well, but I fear my inconsistency this summer has stunted her progress. She sometimes has an obsessive attachment to Alyssa, maybe sometimes because Alyssa sticks up for her, and other times when she needs an excuse to disobey me. She and Katelyn both love Barbie movies and My Little Pony. Emily, Matthew, Natalie, and Alyssa all took swimming lessons last month, and Emily did especially well because she loved it and was willing to try whatever her teachers asked her to do. She often tells me unexpectedly, “I love you, Mom!” and I’m always happy to hear that. Katelyn is very cute but acts like a youngest child (which she isn’t) much of the time. She gets whiny when she doesn’t get what she wants. And we just can’t seem to get her potty-trained. Julia has worked with her and has made some progress, but we’re at an impasse. I’ve been pretty patient (or maybe just resigned?) thus far, but I think I’m going to pull out the big guns on Monday and lock her in the bathroom with nothing but a few books to keep her busy, no diaper, and a potty, and not let her come out until she produces the messy stuff in the potty. Of course I’ll bring her some food, but hopefully it will be a boring enough day that she will be motivated to go on the potty after that. If not, we’ll do it until she gets it. One thing I love about Katelyn is that she wakes up every day with a smile on her face, and she greets me with an enthusiasm that tells me she knows I’m happy to see her. If only all my kids felt that every day! Katelyn must have music playing in her head because half the time she dances around wherever she goes. She has such a cute little mischievous face, you always suspect she’s up to something. Somehow, she manages to be delightful anyway. She is notorious for stealing other people’s treats. I discovered her recently stealing her sister’s chips and told her, “She will be so sad if you take her chips.” She corrected me, “Her not be sad, her will be mad!” She defended her disobedience in leaving her bedroom after I had already tucked her in by explaining, “I didn’t want to go out, my feet wanted to!” She still doesn’t pronounce her “r’s” correctly, and we all love to hear her say things like “I’ggh” (arrgh) and “hights” (hearts) and “doy” (door). Several times when I have been tucking her in at night, she has told me “I hope a package of Barbie toys will come to our house tomorrow.” I don’t think she understands that things don’t just show up when you wish for them, nor does she understand that I am in de-junking mode right now. Jonathan is 18 months old. He is such a funny little guy. For at least six months now, he has been in the habit of hitting his head on things when he is upset or wants attention. Daniel has told me several times that I need to take Jonathan to a psychiatrist to have him evaluated because he has probably already caused himself brain damage. At first, I laughed at his funny joke, but then realized he was serious, and wondered whether I should be worried, too. Jonathan is always the first one to fold his arms whenever we say the word “prayer”. Jonathan has picked up some pretty good soccer moves from watching his siblings play. He is not a superstar talker, so it is startling to hear him say his favorite word, “Uh-oh” very clearly and in a surprisingly low baby boy voice. Jon-Jon loves his dad. 99 times out of 100 he would choose his dad over me, and yet I adore the boy. It’s the whole package – the soft, round little features, the sometimes shy, innocent gaze, the fiery red hair with the adorable eye-of-the-hurricane cowlick on the back of his head, the determination packaged in that tiny little body that makes it possible for him to scale beds and tables and counters to get to things he should not. He has not been my cuddly boy since he was about eight months old, but I use every excuse I can to pick him up and squeeze him until he wriggles out of my grasp to go find some other trouble. Did you make it through all ten kids? That’s a lot of words to read, because that’s a lot of life to sum up! Isn’t it crazy and wonderful? Just a quick report on my adventures: Hugh was kind and brave enough to let me go to Michigan in June to be with my parents and six of my siblings. I treasure our late-night conversations, delicious meals, and most of all, the relationships I have with each of them. After those five days of relaxation, it was a bit of a shock to come back to my normal life with all the demands and responsibilities that go with the life I have chosen. But I am grateful for it, and though sometimes I feel like I’m treading water just trying to stay on top of everything, I also have many moments of joy and a peace that what I am doing is worthwhile. I’m grateful that Hugh is such a constant, steady force in my life, and that he works so hard to provide for us. I may not feel it every minute of the day, but when I am conscious enough to notice it, life is wonderful.

Christmas letter

Merry Christmas 2012, Everyone! We hope our greetings find you well and happy. We are well and happy most of the time, and we are more grateful for the times when we are well and happy because of the times when we are not! Life is busy but good. I will attempt to give a brief update on each of the wacky but wonderful people in our family. Steven is 17 years old and a senior in high school. He loves: listening to an eclectic assortment of music, volunteering in Matthew’s first grade class, playing the piano (composing and accompanying various performing groups,) spending time with his good friend, Dawnika, soccer, teaching piano lessons, and reading. He does not love: filling out college and scholarship applications and doing/turning in homework assignments. He is looking forward to serving a full-time, two-year mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, probably shortly after graduation since the minimum age for service was recently changed to 18. Steven is a great example to his siblings, a kind big brother and son, and a responsible leader of his church class. Daniel is 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. He loves: soccer, weight-lifting, rubber duckies, graphic design, writing code for computer applications, technology, his baby brother, playing video games, and bugging his siblings. He does not love: genealogical indexing of public records (but is conscientious about fulfilling his service requirement for NHS.) He looks forward to: maybe getting an iPad so that he can learn Mac programming language and writing his own apps to earn money, and someday getting enough driving time to appease his parents so that they will let him get his driver’s license. Daniel has maintained excellent grades despite a tough academic and extra-curricular schedule. Julia is 14 and a freshman in high school. She loves: learning about all different things, math and science, writing, reading, being with her cousins, playing the piano and violin (and wants to learn to play guitar, clarinet, and cello – but there are only so many hours in a day!) soccer, cooking/baking, and organizing projects. She looks forward to earning enough money through her babysitting job to purchase a guitar. She kept busy this summer with Girls’ Camp, BYU education week, and EFY (a church-organized week of inspirational talks and fun activities for teenaged youth.) Julia is very conscientious about fulfilling her responsibilities, whether in regards to completing assignments in school, caring for her siblings at home, or doing what is asked of her by her church leaders. Michael is 12 and in eighth grade. He loves: his frienemies (a term used by Julia characterizing the rough-and-tumble interaction among Michael’s group of friends,) soccer, electronic/video games, board games, and his youngest siblings Katelyn and Jonathan. He does not love: school (boring), reading (except about 5 or 6 series he has cycled through multiple times,) piano lessons (though he is a gifted pianist,) Scouting, or getting his hair cut. Michael won the school spelling bee and went on to compete (and tied for third) at the regional bee, though he did not win the spot in the national bee. Michael pretty much single-handedly persuaded us (through a well-researched power point presentation and persistent prodding) to take a family trip to Disneyland, which we did in October. Alyssa is 10 (nearly 11) and in fifth grade. She loves: drawing, music, candy, making sweets, dancing, crafts, soccer, giving her little siblings “rides”, pretty hair, and making things look nice. She does not like: headaches, piano (though she is talented,) cleaning up her crafts, competition, and waking up early. Alyssa is a cute and competent (though shy) member of the school’s elementary show choir. Natalie just turned 9 and is in third grade. She loves: reading, piano, math, more reading, playing with cousins and siblings, waking up early, still more reading, Tetris, and playing board games. She does not like: being late. Natalie takes pride in finishing first, and she is amazing at sharing with others. Matthew just turned 7 and is in first grade. He loves: friends, video games, elephants, machines, playing complex board and card games with his older siblings, Legos, creating things from our recycle bin, soccer, and having Steven volunteer in his classroom a couple times each week. He is a master of melodrama. You have to admire the enthusiasm (intensity) and energy in this cute kid! Emily is 5 and in kindergarten. She loves: My Little Pony, Barbie, hot chocolate, her unicorn pillow pet, coloring, drawing, painting, taking piano lessons from big brother Steven, playing with friends (including her best friend/worst enemy, little sister Katelyn,)and school. She makes me smile with her malapropisms, like “It’s not modest when people wear zucchinis (bikinis).” and “Why does Matthew’s head not need to be teleported (supported) in a big car seat like mine?” Emily is generally helpful and easy-going. Katelyn turned 3 in October. She loves: drawing and coloring, snitching treats (from the pantry or dad’s dresser or wherever she can find them,) hot chocolate, playing with her siblings, playing dress-up with Emily, singing, looking especially cute and animated when she thinks she might get into trouble, being read to, and watching Dragon on Qubo. She makes us all smile with her Katelyn accent; sister and brother become “sis-tah”and“bruddah”; door and car become “doy” and “kye”. Jonathan is the new addition to our family since our last letter. He will be one year old on January 18th. He loves: his parents and siblings, crawling around the house finding bad things to stick in his mouth, making us laugh with his funny gasping and satisfied exhaling sounds, fussing and crying when his baby life is just too exhausting and frustrating, dancing, pounding on the piano, looking at his beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous, bright red hair in the mirror, making messes, and just generally being adored by everyone in the household. Hugh keeps busy with his 2-3 hour daily commute, his job preparing tax returns and doing tax research for the LDS Church in Salt Lake City, attending BYU sports events and concerts with our kiddos, taking his turn at teaching Sunday School and playing the organ at church, and being the dad. Hugh had the opportunity to take Steven and Daniel with him to Germany, Austria, and Switzerland for three weeks this summer when he traveled there on business. It was an eye-opening experience for the boys and a great opportunity for Hugh to show them some of his favorite places from his mission experience in Germany. My greatest joys and frustrations come from being a mom and wife. I cherish all of it, and I hope I am blessed with enough wisdom to do it right. I have learned a lot in my calling as president of our congregation’s Relief Society (the women’s organization of our church.) It adds to my workload, but it has also forced me to face some of my fears and to see more beyond myself, and I am very grateful. What a sweet thing it is to remember that because our brother, Jesus Christ lived and died for us, we always have cause to hope. Our wish for you is that you will carry that hope with you - not just during the Christmas season - but in every season, and let it change you and make you more like Him. With love, Ann and Hugh Wilkins and family

May 2012 slideshow

Here I am, finally making myself sit down to record some of the things that have been going on in our lives the past six months. My life seems to get busier and busier, and so I generally get to only those things that seem most urgent. Since the guilt has been building for the last three months or so, writing is now on the “urgent” list!

Our biggest and best news since I last wrote is that we have a sweet new baby. Jonathan David was born January 18^th, weighing 8 lbs 4 oz, measuring 21 inches. He was born nine days early, just hours before his scheduled induction and after a relatively quick and uneventful labor. I was so grateful for meals from family and neighbors, as I developed what I now think was an epidural headache and a stiff neck shortly after coming home from the hospital. I was in serious pain for about a week and pretty stiff-necked for about a month. I don’t quite have my full range of motion back, but I will say that going through sickness or injury always makes me grateful for my otherwise good health.

The kids are officially on summer break now, as of May 25^th. Steven and Daniel finished all their projects and exams early so that they could accompany Hugh to Germany, where he has some business meetings. They are still there now – they will have been gone for about three weeks by the time they return next week. We miss them, but I am glad they have this opportunity, and hopefully they are making lots of great memories together and will take lots of pictures so the rest of us can experience their trip vicariously.

Steven just finished his junior year of high school with a bang – shocking me with a 4.0 despite very challenging classes. Not that I didn’t think he was capable, just that up to this point, he hasn’t been extremely disciplined! He took several AP exams, and hopefully he did well enough to earn some college credit for next year. Steven and Daniel just finished the soccer season playing for the high school team, and thanks to a couple of dedicated, demanding coaches, are much stronger and better players than ever before. Steven turned 17 while in Germany with Hugh; we have yet to celebrate his birthday with him when he returns! Steven likes to listen to music and read in his free time, but most of all he likes to talk to/be with his girl friend, Dawnika. Steven is almost always willing to run errands for me or wash the dishes (his one requirement being that he be allowed to listen to music while he does.) Steven only sometimes enjoys his near-celebrity status with his younger siblings – they really respect him and often greet him with hugs. I am grateful for his reasonable, rational approach, his desire to be good, and his pleasant personality.

Daniel just finished his freshman year of high school, also with straight A’s! Wow, I am impressed! These guys have worked hard this year! I have been researching scholarships, and found that Utah offers a substantial scholarship (the Regents Scholarship) to every student who completes certain core classes with A’s and B’s, so I am making sure that all of our children are on track to earn that. I was happy that Daniel participated in student government this school year because he is so quiet at school, but since there are so many classes he wants to take, he opted not to participate next year. I worry that other than his compulsive bugging, Daniel is pretty quiet and introverted, even at home. On the advice of his soccer coach, Daniel took a weight lifting class this year. He is a better player all around, and though he won’t admit it, he has some pretty mean biceps now! Between early morning classes, 2-3 hour soccer practices after school every day, and homework, Steven and Daniel haven’t had much leisure time this semester. When Daniel has free time, he likes to play video/computer games, write games with Adobe Flash, and read. Daniel was sad when we found another home for his dog, Jacques, at Christmastime, but it has worked out well and I feel very much at peace with that decision. We watched Jacques when his owners went out of town over spring break, and will be doing so again for three weeks during the summer.

Julia is my best helper with little Jonathan. She is the one most likely to say “yes” when I ask for help, and usually the first one to break down and pick him up when he is fussing and I am otherwise occupied. Julia spent the very first day of spring break in early April having her wisdom teeth removed and a ligation done, which entailed peeling back the gum tissue on the roof of her mouth and attaching a bracket and small chain to a wayward tooth, integrating it into the wires in her braces and, hopefully, gradually bringing the tooth into its correct position. She spent the rest of the spring break (plus some) recovering from the procedure, then had some problems with infection in the incision area, then came down with a bad cold which wiped her out and in turn caused a double ear infection and an eye infection. Wow! But she is finally feeling better and she is tough, and we are grateful for dentists and doctors and medicine, because think of how much worse it would be if we didn’t have them! Julia is always very conscientious about her schoolwork, and she maintained all A’s every term this year. Way to go, Julia! One thing I love about Julia is that she is not afraid to try new things. She loves projects like looking for and trying new recipes, running a “restaurant” in our house, teaching a cooking class to her siblings. Julia and Natalie have been sharing a bedroom since we reorganized everyone in anticipation of Jonathan’s birth, and their bedroom is usually the cleanest one in the house!

Michael turned 12 years old on April 4^th, thus happily graduating from Primary (the children’s organization at church) moving up to the Young Men’s organization and becoming a deacon. Michael doesn’t understand why, as a 7^th grader, he should still have to learn about English, science, and history. (He likes math okay, though he thinks it’s too easy.) He would much rather spend his time playing Plants vs. Zombies (doesn’t that sound like a practical scenario that could benefit him in real life?) Michael has been so cute with Katelyn and Jonathan – they bring out tenderness in him that I’ve never seen before.  Michael got it into his head that we should go to Disneyland this year. He got on the internet and researched ticket prices, hotels, approximate gas costs for our van, then made a Powerpoint presentation. He also talked about how this would probably be the last time our entire family could go since Steven will be graduating next year and going off to college, then on a mission. He talked Hugh into it pretty quickly. Hugh asks for very little, so once he said he wanted to go, it wasn’t hard to convince me. So because of Michael’s “awesome skills of persuasion” (and our otherwise frugal spending habits,) we are planning a trip to Disneyland in October. Oh – and Michael just showed me that he barely finished the term with straight A’s, after some work on his part to follow up on missing assignments and asking for extra credit work to help him reach his goal.

I guess I really haven’t written for a long time, because Alyssa also had a birthday since I last wrote. She got a baby brother for her 10^th birthday in January (four days early, but she was very excited.) Alyssa is often willing to hold Jonathan and/or fix Emily’s hair when I ask her. She objects to her current roommates Matthew and Emily, so she is lobbying for a change (which becomes difficult as our family grows and our house size remains the same.) Alyssa loves to get things out and make things, but not clean up – and her resolve to change her messy ways will determine whether we make the room change or not. It has been a difficult year in school for Alyssa socially. Some days she was the most popular girl in her class, and then other days, her friends would ignore each other and make her choose sides, and she often felt stuck in the middle. Fourth grade seems so young to start all that drama; I really hope next year she can start with a whole new group of friends who don’t play those kinds of games. Alyssa auditioned for and was given a spot in the elementary show choir. She has a good voice and natural grace, so I could see this being a great thing to help her break out of her shyness and build confidence.

Natalie is such an interesting little person. She loves to play Tetris and is a voracious reader – we struggle to find enough books for her. She is very cute and smart. Her teachers tell me she is competitive, that she likes to be the best and the fastest at everything. But she has a very short fuse and is unnecessarily unpleasant much of the time. Ironically, she is often one of the first to express thoughtful gratitude for little things that others may take for granted. She is a quick learner and has been working hard at piano, and can now play at least half a dozen hymns fairly well.

Matthew was sad to finish kindergarten a week ago. He often talked about the daily soccer games he would play during recess when his team would crush the other team. He has a quick mind for math, but has been sluggish to catch on to reading. I know he could be a great reader if he wanted to be, but he has resisted my efforts and my efforts have not been enough because I have so many other things/people that demand my attention. Matthew loves to play card games, especially Ultimate Queens (which Steven made up) and Nertz. Matthew and Emily and I usually play at least one or two every day, and Matthew usually beats me. He also loves electronics, whether Plants vs. Zombies on the computer or Angry Birds on Hugh’s cell phone. Matthew is our Drama King, which is always ridiculous, sometimes humorous, and sometimes exasperating. He likes to exaggerate what he hears “What did you say?! We’re going to eat dinner in 10 …hours? I can’t wait for 10 hours, I’m going to die in here!” and what people do to him (I could shove him across the room with my left pinky finger when he is in drama mode.) But he is a cute, energetic boy, and while we have our challenges at home, his teachers and friends’ parents always tell me he is very well-behaved.

Emily is generally pretty easy-going, small enough to still want and need more attention but big enough to be somewhat independent, and thus sometimes overlooked. Maybe because of this, she sometimes gets attention by being persistent(ly annoying.) She thinks she owns Grandpa and/or Grandma Dosdall whenever they are around. She is pretty adaptable at playing with either Matthew or Katelyn, and she likes me to read to her and play games with her. She struggles with words sometimes, like when describing Katelyn’s eye “confection” or Jonathan’s ten feet (toes). She told me the other day that “Waspes are the baddest kind of bee ‘cause they can sting you again and again.” Emily puts up with some abuse from Matthew (who will get rough with her if she does something that frustrates him,) and Katelyn (because she’s two and she still thinks her preferences are the only ones that count.)

And then there’s Katelyn. She is definitely two (and a half!) Initially, she was very welcoming of Jonathan, then went through a jealous stage when we would hear such things as “Stupid Baby!” and “We don’t hit Baby, we kick him!” She does pretty well with him now, and though she obviously felt displaced and resentful of him for a little while, she is almost as popular with and adored by her siblings as she was pre-Jonathan, even though she is quite the troublemaker. She talks a lot, and with lots of expression, often using her arms to add emphasis to what she is says. She can count pretty reliably up to 10 or 12. She wishes she could play card games with the big kids, so instead she has learned to sort out the multiple decks of cards we mix up during play. I love to hear her sweet little voice singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and the ABC song. She has her own little Katelyn accent. Anything that ends with an –er sound, she says “ah” instead, like, “I huwt my finga.” Or “Now it’s betta.” We cannot always understand what she is saying, and sometimes we wish we could not understand what she is saying  - “You a jerk!” (pronounced joke) or “Nice going-ah, Mom.” (said in a sarcastic tone, not an encouraging one.) But she can also be so sweet, giving out free hugs and “I love you’s” and she is cute even when she’s being rotten. Okay, except maybe that time when she found a sharp knife left in the dishwasher, and decided to see what would happen if she repeatedly poked it into the new leather storage bench in my bedroom.

Jonathan was slow to gain weight at first and so I have supplemented his diet with formula as often as he needs it, but he is now a strong, perfectly plump little four month-old. He looks like a Wilkins with his red hair and light complexion, slightly deeper-set eyes, and long (future-piano-playing) fingers. Because I think he is probably our last baby, I am trying to really treasure and remember everything about each stage. I had thought that at some point I would feel done having children. I don’t think I will ever be there; I think I’ll have to console myself with thoughts of many future grandchildren. Jonathan is so sweet and smiley and cuddly, I just love to hold him and look at him. Natalie recently accused me, “You’re in love with that baby!” to which I responded, “Yes, I am!” Then she and Alyssa both quickly agreed that they are, too.  Some of the novelty and thus the willingness to help have worn off since Jonathan was born, but all the kids really like him a lot. He rolls around and is learning to grab things – toys, faces, hair (much to Alyssa’s chagrin.) He is constantly gumming and drooling on everything he can get up to his mouth, especially his chubby little hands. Other than his given name, the kids and I call him Jon-Jon and Jonny; Hugh calls him “Whine-man.” Jonathan had his first cold recently, and it was a bad one; I am so grateful he didn’t catch it a month earlier because I really wonder whether he would have been strong enough to survive it. We are so grateful he is healthy now. Whether his nature or nurture, I don’t know - but Jonathan likes to be around people, be held and interacted with, and he handles chaos and noise well. He fits our family well, and we are so grateful to have him!

Hugh keeps busy at work with an ever-increasing load. At home, he plays lots of card games with Matthew and Emily, and is Katelyn’s favorite diaper changer since he always makes it fun by playing one of several songs on his phone that he customizes for her. (Sponge-Bob-Stinky-Pants and The Hey Song/Stinky-Poo are a couple favorites.) Hugh decided he was too fat (he said that, not me) and has been waking up even earlier (now 4:15) to exercise each morning before work. He has cut back on the amounts and the types of food he eats. I wish I had his self-discipline – it’s too bad wishing is not enough to make it so!

I perpetually feel like there is just not enough time to do all the things I need to do, but I am generally happy and very grateful for my blessed life and the things I am learning.  My Relief Society responsibilities require some time and mental effort, but mostly I worry about whether I am doing enough and doing the right things for my family. The silent auction I was co-chairing was cancelled when the school’s performing group won a spot at a national competition in Washington D.C. and our venue was taken away – and I am not complaining! It was a huge load taken off my shoulders.

One last thing I wanted to mention is how great it has been to have my parents close. My mom and Jeannie have continued to watch the little kids each Friday so that I could volunteer at school and then take a couple kids out to lunch. I always mean to take time out for dates with the kids, but until we started this arrangement, it was very hit and miss.  My dad is always willing to fix whatever is broken around our house. He unveiled his latest creations on the last day of school: a merry-go-round that can be pumped by the riders, and a zip-line spanning about 150 feet. I think it is very sweet that this most frugal of people is willing to spend countless hours and hundreds of dollars to make something he thinks his grandchildren will get a kick out of. What awesome grandparents they are!

Hello, from the reluctant writer!

It has been such a long time since I last wrote, I fear this will end up a saga. Whatever the case, read if you like, or don't if I drone on...

I found out just before school finished in May that we are expecting a baby. We love all our children, and it has been especially fun to have a baby now that the other kids are old enough to help. They have been the best siblings to Katelyn – it is truly delightful to see the way they take care of and adore each other. With this pregnancy, I have some concerns about a repeat placental abruption since I have all the risk factors (previous abruption, high blood pressure, and many pregnancies) and I admit that I'm tired of the nausea, fatigue, and pains that come with pregnancy, but I would love to have a baby and I hope and pray this pregnancy ends with a healthy baby (and mom!) I have been so grateful to have gone through the worst of the nausea during the summer when we have a relatively relaxed schedule and I could sleep in and not be running from one thing to the next all day. This has certainly not been my most efficient summer, but hopefully the kids have enjoyed my not pushing them as hard as usual. At nearly 19 weeks into this pregnancy, I am still nauseated (especially in the evenings) but better than I was the first 6-8 weeks, when the nausea was so severe it would wake me during the night. We all look forward to the upcoming ultrasound tomorrow, September 1st.

I am settling into my role and responsibilities as Relief Society president (the women's organization of our local church congregation.) I should and would like to get out to visit the sisters more. Hugh probably thinks I'm silly to stress about the once-every-month-or-two lessons I have to prepare when he has to teach Sunday School every other week, but at least I am becoming more comfortable with conducting meetings and teaching the lessons, as well as with being more outgoing. I am very grateful for this calling because it has pushed me out of my comfort zone; I am also grateful for willing, reliable counselors who do so well what I ask them to do.

We enjoyed the Dosdall Family reunion in early July at Yellowstone Park. Yellowstone was beautiful, but probably not the best pick for young kids since it requires a lot of driving to get from one attraction to the next. Everyone's favorite part was being together. We realize everyone made sacrifices to be here, and that means a lot to us. It was fun to have at least some of the group come back to Utah to visit more after the weekend at Yellowstone.

We also had a great time with the Wilkins Family at Palisade Lake (about 1 ½ hours drive southeast of Spanish Fork) later in July. We ended up driving down just for the day so that Hugh and some of the kids could attend a concert on Temple Square the evening before. (And neither Hugh nor I was crushed about missing out on the packing, unpacking, and sleeping in a tent...)
The kids have kept busy enough. Steven turned “Sweet (Sassy? - what do you say for boys?) Sixteen” on May 18th. He was in no rush to get his license until about a month prior when he realized how much more free and easy his social life would be if he had that kind of flexibility. After many stressful drives accompanied by critiquing (critical?) parents, Steven has finally earned enough our trust (or worn us out enough) that he drives himself to some friends' homes and to run local errands for us. He also drives his siblings to school much of the time, which is helpful and scary and strange all at the same time. I'm still somewhat nervous about his driving because I think he's over-confident. He is suddenly a favorite of his younger siblings (who call him “Steve”, which he never would have allowed when he was younger) due to his generally pleasant and often helpful disposition. He likes to listen to all kinds of music, solve crossword and logic puzzles, and read occasionally. Above all else, he loves to spend time being with and talking to his friends on the phone, and I can always tell the gender of the friend by the length of the conversation. Steven did very well on the ACT test he took in June, though I'm still hoping to persuade him to study and retake it since doing well would increase his chances for scholarships, especially since he is not participating in leadership and extra-curricular activities which might otherwise make him an attractive scholarship recipient.

Daniel has spent the summer doing puzzles, playing “Brain Age” on his GameBoy, watching movies, reading books, and learning basic computer programming using Adobe Flash animating software. After having observed his interaction and responsibility with Katelyn since she was born, I finally consented to let Daniel get a dog, which we did on the last day of school (May 26th.) The dog is a mild-tempered four year-old miniature schnauzer named Jacques. Feeding, bathing, walking, cleaning up after – is all Daniel's responsibility. He has done fairly well, though I think it hasn't been as fun as he had imagined all these years that it would be (and just as bad in many ways as I had imagined.) Daniel and Steven both participated in a Youth Trek with our church ward (re-enacting a pioneer journey,) EFY (a week-long inspirational youth day camp,) and a three-day backpacking trip with the Scout troop/Young Men to Boulder Mountain here in Utah. Daniel also attended a fun team-building leadership camp with the rest of the student government. He was recruited to play on a newly-formed club soccer team, and has been practicing once or twice a week for much of the summer. We expect him to earn the money to pay half the fees required to participate, and the coach assured us that he will have plenty of parent help getting the boys to their games (which may be played as far south as Santaquin and as far north as Logan) since we explained that we will have at least four other kids playing community soccer at the same time.

Julia is still a very petite, now 13 year-old (as of July 16th) girl. She loves to organize big projects, like the preschool she ran for part of the summer for her younger siblings Matthew and Emily. I really appreciate everything she did to ensure that they were learning and accomplishing something, especially as I was nauseated and tired constantly the majority of the summer. She also organized a “themed restaurant” with her younger sisters and cousin, Josie. They made a variety of foods with names based on the theme – Fantasyland Foods (fairy tales) the first time, and Willie Wonka's Breakfast Factory the second. They made menus and dressed in costume while they served their “customers” (siblings, parent, grandparents, and cousins.) They spent the couple days beforehand baking muffins and breakfast cookies and mixing up multigrain pancakes and waffles. Julia took arts and crafts and photography classes through the community during the early part of the summer. She enjoyed the week of Girls' Camp up at the Church's Heber Valley facility mid-July. She was very conscientious about trying to acclimate herself to the school schedule the last couple weeks of the summer, trying to get to bed early and waking early and getting herself showered and ready before what would be school-time (while I, on the other hand, slept in until the very last day...)

Michael stayed up late every night of the summer. His favorite way to spend time is playing with friends or playing electronic games of one sort or another. He also enjoys his baby sister, Katelyn, and I have been delighted to see the new tenderness she has brought out in him. The last month or so, Michael has become something of an origami and card trick master. Nearly every time I forget to lock the computer, I find him there either playing a game or looking up how many different kinds of face cards he can buy from online merchants. Michael somehow persuaded me to not cut his hair this summer, and while I threatened and planned to cut it the day before school started last week, I ran out of time and he sported very long hair for the first week of school. As a 7th grader and in the Jr. High, Michael seems to enjoy the variety of having five different classes and teachers every day.

Alyssa's favorite thing to do right now is hair. She will see a hairstyle on someone else or in a picture and can, without instruction, duplicate it on herself or on one of her sisters. Finally, my girls can have cute hair despite their mom's lack of ability! At her request, we signed Alyssa up for a gymnastics class near the end of the school year, and even though she has lots of natural ability, her interest fizzled out after just a few weeks. She is loving the new (used) 10-foot tall, metal swingset (with a stationary acrobatic bar) which Hugh, Steven, and my dad installed last weekend. Alyssa likes to color and make things. She took an arts and crafts class during the summer with Julia and really enjoyed that. Alyssa likes to dance and freestyle play the piano (not at the same time, thank goodness – I don't think that would work out so well.) She resists structured piano practice, though since she and Natalie finished the three-year “Let's Play Music” course in May, we did start them both on piano lessons. Alyssa's reluctance puzzles me, since she really seems to understand and have a natural ear for music; in fact, her composition was one of six chosen from hundreds participating in the program to win a prize. Alyssa is a favorite of her younger siblings, often their champion and defender against more easily irritated older siblings. She doesn't love to read, but is usually willing to read to the little kids.

We all have enjoyed Natalie's more easy-going temperament this summer. The kids were all excited when we told them we are going to have another baby, but it is Natalie who has offered several times to help ease my burden. She loves to read, and devours books without my prodding. She and Alyssa and their cousin Josie played together a lot throughout the summer. Natalie likes roller skating/blading and taking the dog for short walks. Natalie likes to be “Steve's” little buddy, and she says Steven drives at least as well as I do. Michael, Alyssa, Natalie, and Matthew all took swimming lessons during the summer.

Matthew just started kindergarten this week at the local elementary school. He seems to like it so far, except that he seems a little tired and grumpy from having to wake up early to be ready to leave by 8:15. He learned to ride a bike this summer. He enjoys playing electronic games, building things with Legos and blocks, and playing with friends. He is the king of drama at our house, very fond of exaggerating his reactions. He often pretends to have heard things incorrectly and responds with melodrama, like when I tell him he has to sit in the bathroom for ten minutes, he will exclaim, “Ten hours?! I'm going to starve to death in there!” He has a lot of energy and has resisted my efforts to sit down to read with him or work on teaching him to read, so I haven't pushed it too hard, though he is able to sound out simple words. Matthew loves to play card games – and especially for a five year-old, he can give me a good run for my money. He is usually much more willing to sit down and play a card game with Hugh or me than he is to read a book with us.

Emily turned four years old on July 26th. She will be starting pre-school next week, two days each week. She switches back and forth between loving “all things princess” when she plays with her sisters, and then trucks and action figures when she plays with her most frequent playmate, Matthew. Emily especially looked forward to all the festivities of the summer – the fireworks, hot air balloons, and“perwade” (parade.) She is my little hot chocolate addict, wanting at least a cup or two every day, even through the summer. She likes to watch shows on PBS or Qubo or play games on PBSkids.org when she can get away with it.

Katelyn is now 22 months old, though she often already acts the part of “Terrible Two”. She is adorable and opinionated; she loves to be read to and to “read” books out loud to herself. She is talking and communicating much more now, though she recently discovered whining. She torments Jacques, our dog, incessantly, but she is also the first one to sit outside in the summer heat with him when he is banished to the backyard for getting into her stinky diapers. Much to our relief, Katelyn is finally willing to attend the Nursery at church so Hugh and I can attend our own classes without her distracting presence. Katelyn is always trying to escape to the outdoors, and unfortunately does not feel limited by the bounds of our property or by dangerous cars in the street. She looks deceptively innocent; no one would guess she was the one who emptied the entire box of cereal on the floor, or took one bite out of every plum in the bowl, or squeezed out most of the contents of the toothpaste tube on the carpet, or raided the chore candy jar when it was left on the counter. Despite her mischief, we all adore her and enjoy watching her learn new things and become her own unique little person.

Hugh stays steadily busy at work with various projects and deadlines, at church with his Sunday School teaching, organ-playing, and a new auditing calling, and of course, at home. He and his BYU sports buddies kids look forward to the football season about to start, when they will attend as many home games as possible.

I will post another update after the ultrasound tomorrow!