May update

Wow, has it been a long time since I last wrote! It is too easy to not write, since life is always busy and I don’t enjoy writing. But much has happened over the last three months. Our biggest news is that we are expecting a baby at the end of October. More than with other pregnancies, I feel very much at peace with this. I knew the pregnancy would be hard; I knew another baby would mean more work and more craziness in our household. But neither Hugh nor I felt the peace that we expect to feel when our family is complete, and our kids all hoped and asked often about whether we were going to have more children even though they are now old enough to understand that it means more work for them as well. We all enjoy each other and are glad every person in our family is part of our family (well, most of the time, anyway!) I will admit, once the nausea started about five weeks (three weeks gestation) into the pregnancy, I had to wonder how I forget so quickly how miserable pregnancy can be. Really, I didn’t forget; I guess I just figure it’s worth it, and I must be learning something through the hard times – no matter how it turns out, right? So anyway, we are excited that Heavenly Father will (hopefully) be sending another little spirit to our home about six months from now!
Hugh got through another tax season. It didn’t seem as bad to me since we splurged and got high-speed internet, so Hugh was able to get some work done at home on the weeknights and Saturdays. Hugh was worried about me having to take care of everything on the home front while I was feeling so sick, and it was rough for a month or two, but I do think this pregnancy has been easier so far than the last two were in terms of the severity of the nausea. I’m still nauseated all the time, but it is generally tolerable until evening. I tried to talk the kids out of playing Spring Soccer this year because I remembered how stressful it was trying to get two or three kids to games in different locations at the same time, and having to leave someone at a game alone since I felt like I should attend the game of the youngest child playing at the time. So only Steven and Michael are currently playing soccer, and since Hugh is now available, it is manageable. I enjoy watching them play, especially as they have gotten older and try harder. I have been busy with my responsibilities on the Parent Council at the kids’ school, as well as my church callings. I started reading the Twilight books again after having seen the movie a few weeks ago. I haven’t read much just for fun in my lifetime, (especially not since I started having children) until a few months ago, and I really do enjoy getting into the drama of a good story as well as learning new things in the non-fiction I’ve read lately. I haven’t felt as guilty about lying around reading as I otherwise would since it distracts me from feeling quite so nauseated. I am not as efficient as I used to be, and I’ve given the kids more of the burden of cleaning the house, but I think overall it has been a good thing.
Steven will be turning 14 later this month. Wow! Fortunately, he is still a pleasant, easy-going presence in our home. This semester in school has taught him that he does not want to take two advanced math classes and two sciences at the same time – not that he couldn’t handle it, but because he has to work harder than he wants to! That’s okay- I think life just gets more demanding as you get older, and I want him to have some time for play while he’s still a kid. Steven has learned to write basic programs in his computers class, and he and Daniel have written some silly choose-your-own-adventure-type programs. Steven has accompanied his Intermediate Orchestra class on the piano for a couple of the numbers in the last couple of concerts, and it has been good practice for him to play through his mistakes, as I’m hoping he is learning to do so that someday he will be able to put his talents to use playing the hymns at church. Steven still enjoys reading (though I have a hard time finding books within his preferred genre he hasn’t read yet), playing electronics (though we have had to cut back on that when he hasn’t kept his grades up), getting together with friends (though that is sometimes hard since most of his school friends live in other cities,) and playing soccer (he asked me to add!)
Of all our kids, Daniel is the most certain that we have two more spirits waiting to join our family, so he was thrilled when I announced the news that we are having a baby. He recently became very frustrated with piano again and begged me to let him quit, giving me the analogy of being forced to run a race he never even wanted to enter. I sympathized with him, but then extended the analogy with myself as the coach/parent, looking at my young son with underdeveloped muscles and limited lung capacity, and, knowing that he will have many hard times in his life, I decided to require him to run this race because he will be stronger and better prepared in the end whether or not he wanted to run it at the time. So he is now working hard at learning the hymns, which is the “finish line” of this race! When Alyssa mentioned that a girl in her class was giving away puppies, Daniel became obsessed with getting a dog. He even asked whether it would help his case if he started changing diapers. He has researched breeds online and he and Julia are begging me to give in. I told them that the only way I will consent is if they show me, consistently and over time, that they will fulfill their responsibilities at home (chores and piano practice) even when the excitement of the goal wears off. Like Steven, Daniel accepted the challenge to accompany the elementary orchestra on the piano, and though his first run through was “scary and embarrassing”, he has improved a ton in the two days since he got the sheet music and I think he will do just fine in the performance for the whole school in a few days.
I appreciate Julia being a “self-starter” when it comes to completing a school project (even if it is the night before it is due) and cooking breakfasts and baking treats for the family. She has courage when it comes to taking on challenging tasks, like playing a difficult piano piece or wrestling Emily into her car seat. She has been somewhat argumentative and petty in her interactions with her younger siblings lately; hopefully we can get it under control before school is out (when the opportunities for conflict will be multiplied.) In general, the kids really do get along well, so I try to point out to them how much happier we all feel when we are being kind and trying our best not to be offended by each other. She has enjoyed socializing with some of her school friends after school more in the last couple of months.
It has been so much fun to watch Michael play soccer this season. When I asked him why he is so much better this year, he responded simply, “Effort.” He has been much more pleasant in general lately, though he often skips doing his chore or piano even though he is not supposed to be able to eat dinner until his things are done (which he often gets away with when I am too preoccupied to check up on him.) Michael turned nine years old on April 4th, and most of his siblings gave him candy. After noticing that he had neglected to do his chores and skipped dinner for most of a week, I finally clued in to the reason it was possible he could be alive while eating so little, and confiscated the remainder of his birthday candy. I am such a mean mom. Michael ran a one-mile fun run with the Wrights and did well even though he has not run long distances more than a few times. He is outwardly shy and serious, but has a lot of confidence even in his unexplored abilities and doesn’t hesitate to take on challenges that appeal to him.
Alyssa has done better this semester with going to school, but her personality seems to have changed. She is more defiant and impulsive, still needy and complaining often of headaches and stomachaches. (If you have any insights into the psychology of what might be going on, please share them - I really want to understand so that I know how to help her!) She and Natalie finished their Let’s Play Music class and while they are glad to be done for the school year and have a break, I’m glad that we participated because I think it has given them a good foundation in music theory. She and Natalie had planned to put on a talent show for their friends and family today, but since I wasn’t clear on the format or content, (much to their dismay) I wouldn’t extend invitations to anyone outside of our immediate family.
Natalie has done so well during the last few months at preschool with mastering all the prescribed skills, including reading. I think it has become a competition between her and a boy at the preschool who started bringing books home at the same time as she did. She often helps me with chores in the mornings after we take the older kids to school. I am so amused by her five year-old rationale: the last few times Hugh has given her baths she insists that he go out while she gets undressed and into the bathtub (as if he won’t see her naked little body the whole time he is bathing her!) She has tried to be more pleasant and helpful, though sometimes her angry monster voice sneaks out and I have to shake my head and wonder how such a cute little person can make such mean sounds. Both Natalie and Alyssa love to play with their cousin, Josie, and they wish their cousins were still attending the charter school with them.
I have been working hard with Matthew to get him out of the habit of whining and demanding things. He can still be pretty melodramatic and over-reactive, like when he throws himself across the room after being nudged or even offended by someone, acting as if that person has inflicted brutal force on him. But I have to say that his enthusiasm is his most charming characteristic. It is gratifying to hear his animated “Woo-hoo!” or “Yes!” when he sees a tractor while we’re out driving, or when someone finds one of his Cars cars (Lightning McQueen or Mater), or when we’re having something he likes to eat. Despite the many bribes we have offered him, he still wants nothing to do with potty-training. I really want to have him trained before this new baby comes, and with any luck, Emily might learn if she watches Matthew. Matthew turns on the TV every chance he gets (and has gotten away with it more since I have not been feeling well) and I sometimes feel guilty about that. We recently started making Matthew take off his Speed Racer hat indoors when it occurred to me that his brain might develop a blind spot where the visor blocks his vision 24 hours a day. Matthew really likes Emily but he is often too rough with her and kisses or hugs her when she does not want his affection, so she gets edgy whenever he gets too close. Matthew and Emily both prefer their dad over me, which somehow I am okay with. (Maybe it’s because sometimes they insist that he change their diapers…)
Emily, 21 months old now, is such a little person. She talks well and understands a lot. She observes and imitates what she sees, which is great - like when she says “Bless you!” when someone sneezes, or when she folds her arms for the prayer, and bad - like when she is angry with me and yells, “Stupid Mom!” or “Bad Mom!” She is very affectionate – she gives lots of hugs and kisses (sloppy, right-on-the-lips kisses, which are gross since she has had a cold/runny nose for most of the last three months.) She is curious and independent, and I often find her pulling chairs and stools around the house to get into things she shouldn’t. She is cute, but often looks very scrappy with her hair in her face (since she will not let me pull it back) and food on her clothes and face (because she feeds herself and her accuracy with utensils is not so great.) But she has a fun personality and we all delight in watching her learn new things. We had to come up with a seating schedule because the kids all fight over the opportunity to sit next to Emily going to and from school. She loves to jump and run and play outside, but usually insists that one of her adoring siblings (who are easy to persuade) go with her to play outside.
Life is busy but good. We are excited for the end of school in a couple of weeks. We aren’t planning any long trips this summer since I don’t think I’ll be up for it, but we’ll do some fun day trips and outings. We hope you are happy and well.