Hello All!

I haven’t written an update in four months! Recounting in my mind why it has taken me so long to write again, I realize that my life lately has become a series of crazy-busy times. I keep thinking that once I get through this “next thing”, my life will slow down - and it just never happens. There will always be more to do than I can possibly get done. I just have to figure out what are the most important things, and make sure I give my attention first to them, and then let that be enough. My memory is not what I wish it were, so I know I need to write things down or they will be lost not only to me but to our children as well.

Our kids are already three-fourths of the way through the school year – wow! As a 9th grader, Steven is changing in many ways. He is now a good five inches taller than I am. He has fully outgrown the “girls have cooties” stage and now admits to having a crush on one of his girl-friends. That seems to have changed the dynamics of his core group of friends somewhat, though I hope they figure out how to maintain their friendships despite the teenage drama. Steven has a confidence (which is beginning to border on cockiness – but I’m determined to keep that in check) about his intelligence that keeps him from measuring himself by the grades he earns… That’s a great philosophy if you have no intention of going to college, where they make decisions about scholarships and admissions based on grades! If he would exert just a little more effort and discipline, he would have all A’s. He has inspired us to put in place more stringent standards for his younger siblings so that they can learn that underperforming is not acceptable well before it has such big consequences as lost scholarships and other lost opportunities. But otherwise, Steven is a good kid. He treats others respectfully (except maybe his brother, Daniel, since Daniel’s favorite pastime is bugging Steven,) he is pleasant, responsive to my requests for help, and generally a good big brother to his siblings. Our kids would like to invite guests for dinner every weekend, but I’m generally not willing – not because I don’t like to visit with people, but because the bulk of the cleaning and cooking becomes my burden. Steven finally talked me into getting together with his friends’ families, and he made good on his promise to help get the house and food ready. So I might consider it more often than once a year…

Though Daniel was despairing while watching Steven go through his growth spurt less than a year ago, he is now taller than I am. He enjoys being a T.A. (teacher’s aid) for Julia’s teacher (who was his 6th grade teacher last year). Daniel, Julia, and Alyssa are the kids most willing to take care of Katelyn when I need help. Daniel and Steven will be playing soccer on the community league again this spring with a couple boys from the neighborhood. Even though he is progressing well, Daniel looks forward to his 14th birthday, when he can quit taking piano lessons. He much prefers to express his creativity and sense of humor with technology, making movies with Windows Movie Maker or silly sketches with Adobe Flash, or going outside to ride his unicycle. He amuses me with his on-purpose malapropisms, like when he says something is very “confiscated” instead of “complicated”. Since Daniel has been wanting a Rubik’s 4x4 cube for a long time, it finally dawned on me that that might be a good carrot to dangle in front of him – and it worked; he earned all A’s and one A- this last term.

Julia is a very low-maintenance person. She is very responsible about keeping on top of homework and school projects, and conscientious about doing things thoroughly. She is so helpful with the baby; I have left Katelyn in her care for an hour or two at a time at least half a dozen times, and she manages well and seems to enjoy doing it. (She is the only kid who has braved changing a messy diaper.) Sometimes she responds immaturely to the annoying things her little siblings do and is understandably peeved when she finds that someone has eaten her candy or tampered with her things while she was at school, but otherwise she gets along fine. Julia has an inquisitive mind and enjoys learning how things work. We had a full week off school recently because of three scheduled vacation and two furlough days, and since the kids would normally be in school, I suggested that we each pick something to research and about which to teach each other. Julia was the one who made up the schedule and kept us on task on the days we reported to each other.

Michael has been very busy the last couple of months. Including basketball, futsal (indoor soccer) and scouts, Michael had five practices/games/meetings to attend every week. He (and the other three older kids) have been on hiatus from piano lessons on and off since December because their teacher is busy finishing a music degree at BYU. In the meantime, they have discovered the music of Jon Schmidt. (Look him up on YouTube if you’ve never heard him…) Steven and Michael especially have practiced a lot more in the last couple of months because they so enjoy playing his compositions. We attended one of his concerts last month (which was great fun – he is such a showman!) and are looking forward to attending at least a couple throughout the summer. The one drawback to all this is that there is rarely a moment of quiet when the older kids are home; apparently, it is more fun (for them) the faster and more loudly they play. I bite my tongue for as long as I can, but sometimes my head hurts or my stress level is already too high and I have to ban them from playing the acoustic piano for an hour or two. All the boys readily devote time to piano practice in order to earn extra electronics time.

Until recently, Alyssa has done so much better this school year than last emotionally and socially, but lately has complained more of stomachaches and earaches. I always wonder whether her illnesses have a psychosomatic component, but nothing seems like an obvious cause when I have talked to her and pondered it. It is particularly difficult to know how to handle her complaints when her siblings doubt her sicknesses and ask why I let her miss school. She is still shy but has more friends and seems to feel more comfortable at school. At home, she is Matthew’s special friend and advocate, which he really needs at times. We were planning to have Alyssa baptized in early February (after her 8th birthday on January 22nd) until we found out there was a mix-up in dates, and most of our extended family would be unable to attend. We decided to put it off for a couple months until April 10th so that both sets of grandparents can attend and be involved in the program, and she is very excited about that.

Natalie is thoroughly enjoying kindergarten. She is very social there (despite being shy in other settings) and has improved her reading skills to the point that she can read simple chapter books on her own. She has done much better at taming the temper monster lately. I love to hear her animated reports of things that happened at school each day.

I didn’t think potty training could get any worse, and here we are, four months after Matthew’s 4th birthday, with three kids still in diapers. I have learned from past experience that potty training is within the child’s control, and as much as a parent coaxes and coerces or rants and raves, it is still ultimately the child who decides when it will happen. I have been very patient and I have tried not to let potty training affect my relationship with Matthew, but I guess I haven’t done very well, as Matthew’s favorite ammunition to sling at me lately is, “You don’t even like me!” Sometimes I think he is just trying to manipulate me, but other times I fear that too much of our interaction is tainted with my exasperation with the whole thing. So often I wish I could get inside the heads of my children to understand what they are thinking and what motivates them! Matthew developed an interest in drawing and coloring within the last few months, and has really improved his fine motor skills a lot. Most of his time is spent in imaginative play with Emily. I can often hear the falsetto conversations their favorite cars or stuffed animals (Eldon the Elephant and Tiger) have as they go on their daily adventures around the house. I think it is very amusing unless I have a headache or I’m trying to keep Katelyn asleep. Matthew would love to play with friends every day, but I usually use that as a privilege he has to earn by going on the potty. He is slowly learning that asking quietly and kindly for things he wants yields faster and better results than automatically whining and demanding.

Emily, now 2 ½, is still quite a character. (Is it the left-handedness, I wonder? I remember thinking some of the same things about Daniel when he was her age…) She can be charming and sweet, or Terrible Two. It is fun to see things from her perspective; for example, she calls tissues “paper noses” (like paper towels, but for noses.) She makes sweeping declarations like “I don’t like boys!” which can quickly change to “I don’t like girls!” based on who has most recently offended her. She likes to pull the piano bench over to Hugh’s dresser to rifle through his stuff until she finds something she likes (candy, gum, cough drops.) She finally lets me pull her hair back most days, so she doesn’t look quite as ragamuffin as she did for awhile (though she still often picks out her own outfits, and it is not uncommon for her to spend the day wearing combinations like green dinosaur pajamas and a pretty pink dress.) After more than a year of refusing to go in the Nursery at church, Emily has suddenly decided not only that she will survive it, but that she actually likes it.

Katelyn, five months old now, is a bundle of joy. We all love to make her laugh and smile. Though she has gone through phases of being demanding and fussy, overall, she is a happy, easy-going baby. Her red hair is a startling contrast to her soft, round little features. We are still waiting to see if her eyes will turn brown like all our other babies’ did. We have to be careful because she is learning to control her hands and likes to grab whatever gets within her reach (hair, plates full of food, etc.) Katelyn sleeps through the night much of the time, thanks to her ability to get her thumb to her mouth. She has a sweet little voice and rarely gets really mad (unlike some of her siblings!)

Hugh is even more sleep-deprived than usual as he has been working longer hours with the April 15 tax deadline quickly approaching. I have put way too many hours into my Parent Council (PTA) fundraising responsibilities at the charter school over the last couple of months with helping to organize a silent auction, book fair, and reading program, as well as a Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet. I need to figure out if there is some way to scale down my part of the work so that I can still be involved at the school, but not be so busy that I am overwhelmed and ignoring my kids – who are the whole reason I volunteer at the school. We are anxious for my parents’ return April 2nd from their 18-month mission in Chennai, India, during which four new grandchildren and their first great-grandchild were born. We are also excited to see Sharon and some of her kids, who will be driving here from Michigan for a visit during their/our Spring Break the day after our parents return.

Though busier than we might like, we are well and happy and grateful to God that we are able to do all these things that keep us so busy! We hope you are doing well.