October 11, 2008

Hello Everyone!
We hope you are enjoying the last of the flowers and green leaves as the cool autumn winds blow in. It is beautiful – every season is – but I don’t enjoy the long, cold winter that is sure to follow. Anyway, we are doing well. We went on our first trip to Disneyland for a week near the end of September. We nearly ended up cancelling the trip because our children were being so irresponsible about their make-up homework since we would be missing an entire week of school, but once they realized the trip was in jeopardy, they whipped themselves into shape. We had so much fun together! I went into the whole Disneyland experience somewhat cynical, wondering what all the hype was about. But I have to admit that we had such a good time, I would love to go back as a family again at least once before the kids start leaving for college (in four short years!) Part of the fun was just being there together for the sole purpose of enjoying each other, but part of it was the family friendly, detail-oriented atmosphere of Disneyland. We loved it!
I will backtrack a little bit and report things that have gone on in the last couple of months. After a couple of weeks of being frustrated by the disorganization and the hassle of transporting reluctant kids to and from the charter school, Kristen and James decided to withdraw Jamie, Guts, and Josie and have them attend the local elementary school. We were all sad (especially the kids,) and it really caused me to reconsider whether we were doing the right thing, especially in view of how much more work it is for me. Since I am in charge of fundraising for the parent organization of the school, I didn’t feel like I could just drop out and leave them high and dry. Fortunately, as time has passed, we have become more comfortable with our decision and Wrights with theirs. I have been so impressed the last month and a half with the additions to the curriculum as well as most of the kids’ teachers, and for the first time I feel that our children are really being challenged and taught to think beyond just the rote, oversimplified concepts they have been taught until now. I haven’t spent much time volunteering at the school yet, but hopefully I can work out swapping kids with another mom one day a week so that we can both help in our children’s classes.
I don’t remember whether I mentioned that we have had leaking in our basement three different times over the last year anytime we have had a large amount of rain or snowmelt, but it had become big concern and hassle, and I knew we would need to figure out how to fix it before the ground freezes again. Thanks to my dad and my brother, Mike, the problem is now fixed (hopefully forever!) after a day of hard work drilling through our impenetrable clay soil and some plastic tarps which were inexplicably placed in a couple of the window wells and were preventing water from draining. What a relief – thank you, Dad and Mike! We also had new countertops and a new sink installed in our kitchen just a couple days before we left for Disneyland. The countertops are beautiful, but even more than that, I love the deep stainless steel sink which looks shiny and clean and hides the dirty dishes, and the new faucet which no longer leaks water onto the wood cabinets below.
I’m so grateful that Hugh takes such good care of us that we don’t have to worry about the necessities and can do fun extras like Disneyland and new counters once in a while. Hugh has been able to work from home only a handful of times since we got high-speed internet. People keep scheduling meetings for which he must be present, so at least so far it hasn’t worked out the way we had planned. He doesn’t seem as tired lately as some times in the past, thank goodness. He has enjoyed watching BYU Football, though he says it has been a relatively boring season because BYU is so much better than the teams they have played.
Steven, Daniel, Julia, and Alyssa just finished their soccer season within the last week. Steven loves soccer so much that he dropped out of his art class when he found that a soccer class was offered. It hasn’t turned out to be what he was hoping, but he will be glad to have it, especially now that the regular season is over. Steven opted to take two advanced math classes this year, and the jury is still out as to whether that was the best decision. About a week before our Disneyland trip, I found out that Steven was failing his Health class and had a C- in Algebra 2. He is fully capable of earning all A’s, so we have had to put some restrictions on him until he figures out how to apply himself in order to earn the grades he should be getting. He is a reluctant Scout, who would skip his Young Men activities at church most of the time, the Pow-wows and campouts always if we let him. Still, he is basically a good, pleasant kid. Hopefully we are pushing him in the areas which matter the most.
Daniel is enjoying school, thanks to a great teacher, and a new friend he made – a kid named Jon who is attending school for the first time in his life, having been home-schooled through fifth grade. Daniel likes his elective art class, but is also expressing an interest in drama. He has specified that there is to be no singing or dancing, ONLY acting, so we’ll have to see if there is such an option. Daniel, Julia, and Michael are participating in a program called RAD kids, which teaches children how and when to defend themselves against aggression or harm. Since the twelve hours of classes are taught on the weekends during what would otherwise be the kids’ treasured free time, they were very resistant to the idea of participating in the class. I gave them no choice and a little bribery (a shake or treat after each class,) and I really think that in the end they will be glad they did it.
Julia also has a wonderful teacher and is enjoying and being challenged in school. She is currently working on a board game based on the Underground Railroad for a project in history. Her class will be writing and producing an opera together this year in school. The charter school holds a History Fair on Halloween during which each grade level dresses up as characters from a certain assigned time period or geographical region. The fifth grade was assigned the Civil War, so originally Julia wanted to sew (or wanted me to sew) a Southern Belle type dress, but since I have qualms about whether we have the skill and the time to do that, she has decided instead that she will dress as a slave (we can probably handle that.)
Michael was so sad to lose his cousin, Guts, as a classmate. He is struggling with a competent but strict teacher. He is very bright, but emotionally immature, which raises behavioral challenges at home (and probably at school) in terms of his not taking ownership of things that are his responsibility (like homework, chores, practicing piano, and just basically being pleasant to others.) I am hoping to help him to understand that when he makes a choice, there are always consequences associated with that choice – some good, and some bad – and he needs to learn to look at both the immediate and the eventual consequences of his choices and weigh them out. He just finished his first season of flag football, which he enjoyed. He is not the biggest kid on the team, but he is one of the fastest. Since he takes the game seriously and is quick, he was able to score half a dozen touchdowns throughout the season.
It has been an interesting couple of months with Alyssa. She has had a tendency ever since she was in preschool to exhibit serious separation anxiety. You may remember what a challenge it was last year for me to get her to go to kindergarten and dance class. I had hoped that it was just a phase, and that she would see that even though she may be afraid when she goes, everything turns out fine, we’re still here for her, she’s okay, etc. A couple weeks into school she started becoming very anxious and throwing tantrums and clinging to me, sobbing and refusing to go to school. The assistant principal and the secretaries at the office were so kind and accommodating to Alyssa, allowing her to sit with them as long as she needed to in order to gather up the courage to go to class. Alyssa loves her teacher, and there are some really sweet kids in her class (one morning four of her classmates stopped to try to comfort and reassure Alyssa when she was struggling to leave me.) When I had tried everything I could think of to figure out where this was coming from and what to do about it, I decided to take her to a psychologist. The therapist has worked with me more than with Alyssa to help me understand how to approach the situation so that Alyssa will respond differently, and it has helped a lot. I wish I knew more of this parenting stuff intuitively, but every kid is so different, and what works with one doesn’t necessarily work for another. Anyway, hopefully we will be able to apply what we have learned to the other kids as well.
We decided to try a different kind of music class with Natalie and Alyssa called “Let’s Play Music” which teaches music theory through games and songs and a lot of hands-on, multi-sensory techniques. I have to attend the class with the girls every other week, so it is fortunate that Steven and Daniel are willing and able to watch the little ones for an hour or so while I am gone. Alyssa, Natalie, and I are all out of our comfort zones singing and dancing in front of/alongside other people, so hopefully this will help us to not be so shy and self-conscious. Natalie has been trying Alyssa’s trick of refusing to go to preschool, but since I have a better understanding of how to respond to it, it hasn’t gotten too carried away. It is fun to get into the mind of a four year old. Natalie told me, “If I grow up to be a cement worker, I won’t swear because you’ve taught me right.” (This after various related conversations over the last year or two...) Fortunately, Natalie has been more sweet than sour lately, but like Alyssa, her mood can change very unexpectedly. Natalie likes to check out books from the library and “read” them to me. She is able to sound out simple words, but doesn’t have the desire or tenacity to really learn how to read just yet. She also thinks she can play all different songs on the digital piano that are programmed in and will play correctly whether she hits the right notes or not. I hope that feature will not end up being counter-productive to her musical education!
Like his brother Michael did when he was two or three, Matthew has a hat to which he is very attached. He wears it every moment he is awake, sleeps with it right next to him, and seeks it out the moment he wakes from a nap or in the morning. His original “Old Navy” hat had become very ragged and dirty-looking, and we wondered how we could ever get him to part with it until Julia found a spiffy black Speed Racer hat, which he instantly took a liking to. He is in the habit of whining, crying, throwing fits, and generally being quite unpleasant, so now that he is becoming more verbal, we are trying to teach him how to use words to express what he wants. He does have such an irresistibly cute, animated little face, especially when he is happy or excited about something.
Emily, now 14 ½ months old, is becoming such a little person. She is not as stoic as she was for a long time; she actually smiles and claps and gives “high fives” and other fun responses – at least to people in our family (she is still quiet and shy with anyone she doesn’t know well.) She carries on conversations with us in her own language, complete with nods or shakes of the head and very emphatically pronounced sounds and lively expressions. She is constantly climbing (and falling) and getting into things. She thinks she is too big to crawl up and down the stairs, even though she is so small each stair comes halfway up her thigh. She skillfully supports herself walking up the stairs with one hand braced against the wall, and goes down on her behind, one step at a time. She has learned to sleep through the night most of the time, but her naps are erratic since I often have to pack her up four or five times a day to run older kids to school and other activities.
I know this is very long, but one last thing I will mention is that my parents are still here. They were supposed to have left yesterday for their humanitarian mission to Bangalore, India, but a couple days ago found out that their visas had not yet come through. So we are enjoying a few last chances to see them this weekend before their 18-month absence.
We hope you are happy and well.