Monday, May 11, 2009
May update
Wow, has it been a long time since I last wrote! It is too easy to not write, since life is always busy and I don’t enjoy writing. But much has happened over the last three months. Our biggest news is that we are expecting a baby at the end of October. More than with other pregnancies, I feel very much at peace with this. I knew the pregnancy would be hard; I knew another baby would mean more work and more craziness in our household. But neither Hugh nor I felt the peace that we expect to feel when our family is complete, and our kids all hoped and asked often about whether we were going to have more children even though they are now old enough to understand that it means more work for them as well. We all enjoy each other and are glad every person in our family is part of our family (well, most of the time, anyway!) I will admit, once the nausea started about five weeks (three weeks gestation) into the pregnancy, I had to wonder how I forget so quickly how miserable pregnancy can be. Really, I didn’t forget; I guess I just figure it’s worth it, and I must be learning something through the hard times – no matter how it turns out, right? So anyway, we are excited that Heavenly Father will (hopefully) be sending another little spirit to our home about six months from now!
Hugh got through another tax season. It didn’t seem as bad to me since we splurged and got high-speed internet, so Hugh was able to get some work done at home on the weeknights and Saturdays. Hugh was worried about me having to take care of everything on the home front while I was feeling so sick, and it was rough for a month or two, but I do think this pregnancy has been easier so far than the last two were in terms of the severity of the nausea. I’m still nauseated all the time, but it is generally tolerable until evening. I tried to talk the kids out of playing Spring Soccer this year because I remembered how stressful it was trying to get two or three kids to games in different locations at the same time, and having to leave someone at a game alone since I felt like I should attend the game of the youngest child playing at the time. So only Steven and Michael are currently playing soccer, and since Hugh is now available, it is manageable. I enjoy watching them play, especially as they have gotten older and try harder. I have been busy with my responsibilities on the Parent Council at the kids’ school, as well as my church callings. I started reading the Twilight books again after having seen the movie a few weeks ago. I haven’t read much just for fun in my lifetime, (especially not since I started having children) until a few months ago, and I really do enjoy getting into the drama of a good story as well as learning new things in the non-fiction I’ve read lately. I haven’t felt as guilty about lying around reading as I otherwise would since it distracts me from feeling quite so nauseated. I am not as efficient as I used to be, and I’ve given the kids more of the burden of cleaning the house, but I think overall it has been a good thing.
Steven will be turning 14 later this month. Wow! Fortunately, he is still a pleasant, easy-going presence in our home. This semester in school has taught him that he does not want to take two advanced math classes and two sciences at the same time – not that he couldn’t handle it, but because he has to work harder than he wants to! That’s okay- I think life just gets more demanding as you get older, and I want him to have some time for play while he’s still a kid. Steven has learned to write basic programs in his computers class, and he and Daniel have written some silly choose-your-own-adventure-type programs. Steven has accompanied his Intermediate Orchestra class on the piano for a couple of the numbers in the last couple of concerts, and it has been good practice for him to play through his mistakes, as I’m hoping he is learning to do so that someday he will be able to put his talents to use playing the hymns at church. Steven still enjoys reading (though I have a hard time finding books within his preferred genre he hasn’t read yet), playing electronics (though we have had to cut back on that when he hasn’t kept his grades up), getting together with friends (though that is sometimes hard since most of his school friends live in other cities,) and playing soccer (he asked me to add!)
Of all our kids, Daniel is the most certain that we have two more spirits waiting to join our family, so he was thrilled when I announced the news that we are having a baby. He recently became very frustrated with piano again and begged me to let him quit, giving me the analogy of being forced to run a race he never even wanted to enter. I sympathized with him, but then extended the analogy with myself as the coach/parent, looking at my young son with underdeveloped muscles and limited lung capacity, and, knowing that he will have many hard times in his life, I decided to require him to run this race because he will be stronger and better prepared in the end whether or not he wanted to run it at the time. So he is now working hard at learning the hymns, which is the “finish line” of this race! When Alyssa mentioned that a girl in her class was giving away puppies, Daniel became obsessed with getting a dog. He even asked whether it would help his case if he started changing diapers. He has researched breeds online and he and Julia are begging me to give in. I told them that the only way I will consent is if they show me, consistently and over time, that they will fulfill their responsibilities at home (chores and piano practice) even when the excitement of the goal wears off. Like Steven, Daniel accepted the challenge to accompany the elementary orchestra on the piano, and though his first run through was “scary and embarrassing”, he has improved a ton in the two days since he got the sheet music and I think he will do just fine in the performance for the whole school in a few days.
I appreciate Julia being a “self-starter” when it comes to completing a school project (even if it is the night before it is due) and cooking breakfasts and baking treats for the family. She has courage when it comes to taking on challenging tasks, like playing a difficult piano piece or wrestling Emily into her car seat. She has been somewhat argumentative and petty in her interactions with her younger siblings lately; hopefully we can get it under control before school is out (when the opportunities for conflict will be multiplied.) In general, the kids really do get along well, so I try to point out to them how much happier we all feel when we are being kind and trying our best not to be offended by each other. She has enjoyed socializing with some of her school friends after school more in the last couple of months.
It has been so much fun to watch Michael play soccer this season. When I asked him why he is so much better this year, he responded simply, “Effort.” He has been much more pleasant in general lately, though he often skips doing his chore or piano even though he is not supposed to be able to eat dinner until his things are done (which he often gets away with when I am too preoccupied to check up on him.) Michael turned nine years old on April 4th, and most of his siblings gave him candy. After noticing that he had neglected to do his chores and skipped dinner for most of a week, I finally clued in to the reason it was possible he could be alive while eating so little, and confiscated the remainder of his birthday candy. I am such a mean mom. Michael ran a one-mile fun run with the Wrights and did well even though he has not run long distances more than a few times. He is outwardly shy and serious, but has a lot of confidence even in his unexplored abilities and doesn’t hesitate to take on challenges that appeal to him.
Alyssa has done better this semester with going to school, but her personality seems to have changed. She is more defiant and impulsive, still needy and complaining often of headaches and stomachaches. (If you have any insights into the psychology of what might be going on, please share them - I really want to understand so that I know how to help her!) She and Natalie finished their Let’s Play Music class and while they are glad to be done for the school year and have a break, I’m glad that we participated because I think it has given them a good foundation in music theory. She and Natalie had planned to put on a talent show for their friends and family today, but since I wasn’t clear on the format or content, (much to their dismay) I wouldn’t extend invitations to anyone outside of our immediate family.
Natalie has done so well during the last few months at preschool with mastering all the prescribed skills, including reading. I think it has become a competition between her and a boy at the preschool who started bringing books home at the same time as she did. She often helps me with chores in the mornings after we take the older kids to school. I am so amused by her five year-old rationale: the last few times Hugh has given her baths she insists that he go out while she gets undressed and into the bathtub (as if he won’t see her naked little body the whole time he is bathing her!) She has tried to be more pleasant and helpful, though sometimes her angry monster voice sneaks out and I have to shake my head and wonder how such a cute little person can make such mean sounds. Both Natalie and Alyssa love to play with their cousin, Josie, and they wish their cousins were still attending the charter school with them.
I have been working hard with Matthew to get him out of the habit of whining and demanding things. He can still be pretty melodramatic and over-reactive, like when he throws himself across the room after being nudged or even offended by someone, acting as if that person has inflicted brutal force on him. But I have to say that his enthusiasm is his most charming characteristic. It is gratifying to hear his animated “Woo-hoo!” or “Yes!” when he sees a tractor while we’re out driving, or when someone finds one of his Cars cars (Lightning McQueen or Mater), or when we’re having something he likes to eat. Despite the many bribes we have offered him, he still wants nothing to do with potty-training. I really want to have him trained before this new baby comes, and with any luck, Emily might learn if she watches Matthew. Matthew turns on the TV every chance he gets (and has gotten away with it more since I have not been feeling well) and I sometimes feel guilty about that. We recently started making Matthew take off his Speed Racer hat indoors when it occurred to me that his brain might develop a blind spot where the visor blocks his vision 24 hours a day. Matthew really likes Emily but he is often too rough with her and kisses or hugs her when she does not want his affection, so she gets edgy whenever he gets too close. Matthew and Emily both prefer their dad over me, which somehow I am okay with. (Maybe it’s because sometimes they insist that he change their diapers…)
Emily, 21 months old now, is such a little person. She talks well and understands a lot. She observes and imitates what she sees, which is great - like when she says “Bless you!” when someone sneezes, or when she folds her arms for the prayer, and bad - like when she is angry with me and yells, “Stupid Mom!” or “Bad Mom!” She is very affectionate – she gives lots of hugs and kisses (sloppy, right-on-the-lips kisses, which are gross since she has had a cold/runny nose for most of the last three months.) She is curious and independent, and I often find her pulling chairs and stools around the house to get into things she shouldn’t. She is cute, but often looks very scrappy with her hair in her face (since she will not let me pull it back) and food on her clothes and face (because she feeds herself and her accuracy with utensils is not so great.) But she has a fun personality and we all delight in watching her learn new things. We had to come up with a seating schedule because the kids all fight over the opportunity to sit next to Emily going to and from school. She loves to jump and run and play outside, but usually insists that one of her adoring siblings (who are easy to persuade) go with her to play outside.
Life is busy but good. We are excited for the end of school in a couple of weeks. We aren’t planning any long trips this summer since I don’t think I’ll be up for it, but we’ll do some fun day trips and outings. We hope you are happy and well.
Hugh got through another tax season. It didn’t seem as bad to me since we splurged and got high-speed internet, so Hugh was able to get some work done at home on the weeknights and Saturdays. Hugh was worried about me having to take care of everything on the home front while I was feeling so sick, and it was rough for a month or two, but I do think this pregnancy has been easier so far than the last two were in terms of the severity of the nausea. I’m still nauseated all the time, but it is generally tolerable until evening. I tried to talk the kids out of playing Spring Soccer this year because I remembered how stressful it was trying to get two or three kids to games in different locations at the same time, and having to leave someone at a game alone since I felt like I should attend the game of the youngest child playing at the time. So only Steven and Michael are currently playing soccer, and since Hugh is now available, it is manageable. I enjoy watching them play, especially as they have gotten older and try harder. I have been busy with my responsibilities on the Parent Council at the kids’ school, as well as my church callings. I started reading the Twilight books again after having seen the movie a few weeks ago. I haven’t read much just for fun in my lifetime, (especially not since I started having children) until a few months ago, and I really do enjoy getting into the drama of a good story as well as learning new things in the non-fiction I’ve read lately. I haven’t felt as guilty about lying around reading as I otherwise would since it distracts me from feeling quite so nauseated. I am not as efficient as I used to be, and I’ve given the kids more of the burden of cleaning the house, but I think overall it has been a good thing.
Steven will be turning 14 later this month. Wow! Fortunately, he is still a pleasant, easy-going presence in our home. This semester in school has taught him that he does not want to take two advanced math classes and two sciences at the same time – not that he couldn’t handle it, but because he has to work harder than he wants to! That’s okay- I think life just gets more demanding as you get older, and I want him to have some time for play while he’s still a kid. Steven has learned to write basic programs in his computers class, and he and Daniel have written some silly choose-your-own-adventure-type programs. Steven has accompanied his Intermediate Orchestra class on the piano for a couple of the numbers in the last couple of concerts, and it has been good practice for him to play through his mistakes, as I’m hoping he is learning to do so that someday he will be able to put his talents to use playing the hymns at church. Steven still enjoys reading (though I have a hard time finding books within his preferred genre he hasn’t read yet), playing electronics (though we have had to cut back on that when he hasn’t kept his grades up), getting together with friends (though that is sometimes hard since most of his school friends live in other cities,) and playing soccer (he asked me to add!)
Of all our kids, Daniel is the most certain that we have two more spirits waiting to join our family, so he was thrilled when I announced the news that we are having a baby. He recently became very frustrated with piano again and begged me to let him quit, giving me the analogy of being forced to run a race he never even wanted to enter. I sympathized with him, but then extended the analogy with myself as the coach/parent, looking at my young son with underdeveloped muscles and limited lung capacity, and, knowing that he will have many hard times in his life, I decided to require him to run this race because he will be stronger and better prepared in the end whether or not he wanted to run it at the time. So he is now working hard at learning the hymns, which is the “finish line” of this race! When Alyssa mentioned that a girl in her class was giving away puppies, Daniel became obsessed with getting a dog. He even asked whether it would help his case if he started changing diapers. He has researched breeds online and he and Julia are begging me to give in. I told them that the only way I will consent is if they show me, consistently and over time, that they will fulfill their responsibilities at home (chores and piano practice) even when the excitement of the goal wears off. Like Steven, Daniel accepted the challenge to accompany the elementary orchestra on the piano, and though his first run through was “scary and embarrassing”, he has improved a ton in the two days since he got the sheet music and I think he will do just fine in the performance for the whole school in a few days.
I appreciate Julia being a “self-starter” when it comes to completing a school project (even if it is the night before it is due) and cooking breakfasts and baking treats for the family. She has courage when it comes to taking on challenging tasks, like playing a difficult piano piece or wrestling Emily into her car seat. She has been somewhat argumentative and petty in her interactions with her younger siblings lately; hopefully we can get it under control before school is out (when the opportunities for conflict will be multiplied.) In general, the kids really do get along well, so I try to point out to them how much happier we all feel when we are being kind and trying our best not to be offended by each other. She has enjoyed socializing with some of her school friends after school more in the last couple of months.
It has been so much fun to watch Michael play soccer this season. When I asked him why he is so much better this year, he responded simply, “Effort.” He has been much more pleasant in general lately, though he often skips doing his chore or piano even though he is not supposed to be able to eat dinner until his things are done (which he often gets away with when I am too preoccupied to check up on him.) Michael turned nine years old on April 4th, and most of his siblings gave him candy. After noticing that he had neglected to do his chores and skipped dinner for most of a week, I finally clued in to the reason it was possible he could be alive while eating so little, and confiscated the remainder of his birthday candy. I am such a mean mom. Michael ran a one-mile fun run with the Wrights and did well even though he has not run long distances more than a few times. He is outwardly shy and serious, but has a lot of confidence even in his unexplored abilities and doesn’t hesitate to take on challenges that appeal to him.
Alyssa has done better this semester with going to school, but her personality seems to have changed. She is more defiant and impulsive, still needy and complaining often of headaches and stomachaches. (If you have any insights into the psychology of what might be going on, please share them - I really want to understand so that I know how to help her!) She and Natalie finished their Let’s Play Music class and while they are glad to be done for the school year and have a break, I’m glad that we participated because I think it has given them a good foundation in music theory. She and Natalie had planned to put on a talent show for their friends and family today, but since I wasn’t clear on the format or content, (much to their dismay) I wouldn’t extend invitations to anyone outside of our immediate family.
Natalie has done so well during the last few months at preschool with mastering all the prescribed skills, including reading. I think it has become a competition between her and a boy at the preschool who started bringing books home at the same time as she did. She often helps me with chores in the mornings after we take the older kids to school. I am so amused by her five year-old rationale: the last few times Hugh has given her baths she insists that he go out while she gets undressed and into the bathtub (as if he won’t see her naked little body the whole time he is bathing her!) She has tried to be more pleasant and helpful, though sometimes her angry monster voice sneaks out and I have to shake my head and wonder how such a cute little person can make such mean sounds. Both Natalie and Alyssa love to play with their cousin, Josie, and they wish their cousins were still attending the charter school with them.
I have been working hard with Matthew to get him out of the habit of whining and demanding things. He can still be pretty melodramatic and over-reactive, like when he throws himself across the room after being nudged or even offended by someone, acting as if that person has inflicted brutal force on him. But I have to say that his enthusiasm is his most charming characteristic. It is gratifying to hear his animated “Woo-hoo!” or “Yes!” when he sees a tractor while we’re out driving, or when someone finds one of his Cars cars (Lightning McQueen or Mater), or when we’re having something he likes to eat. Despite the many bribes we have offered him, he still wants nothing to do with potty-training. I really want to have him trained before this new baby comes, and with any luck, Emily might learn if she watches Matthew. Matthew turns on the TV every chance he gets (and has gotten away with it more since I have not been feeling well) and I sometimes feel guilty about that. We recently started making Matthew take off his Speed Racer hat indoors when it occurred to me that his brain might develop a blind spot where the visor blocks his vision 24 hours a day. Matthew really likes Emily but he is often too rough with her and kisses or hugs her when she does not want his affection, so she gets edgy whenever he gets too close. Matthew and Emily both prefer their dad over me, which somehow I am okay with. (Maybe it’s because sometimes they insist that he change their diapers…)
Emily, 21 months old now, is such a little person. She talks well and understands a lot. She observes and imitates what she sees, which is great - like when she says “Bless you!” when someone sneezes, or when she folds her arms for the prayer, and bad - like when she is angry with me and yells, “Stupid Mom!” or “Bad Mom!” She is very affectionate – she gives lots of hugs and kisses (sloppy, right-on-the-lips kisses, which are gross since she has had a cold/runny nose for most of the last three months.) She is curious and independent, and I often find her pulling chairs and stools around the house to get into things she shouldn’t. She is cute, but often looks very scrappy with her hair in her face (since she will not let me pull it back) and food on her clothes and face (because she feeds herself and her accuracy with utensils is not so great.) But she has a fun personality and we all delight in watching her learn new things. We had to come up with a seating schedule because the kids all fight over the opportunity to sit next to Emily going to and from school. She loves to jump and run and play outside, but usually insists that one of her adoring siblings (who are easy to persuade) go with her to play outside.
Life is busy but good. We are excited for the end of school in a couple of weeks. We aren’t planning any long trips this summer since I don’t think I’ll be up for it, but we’ll do some fun day trips and outings. We hope you are happy and well.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Now that it's almost Valentine's Day...We had a wonderful Christmas. The kids had a full two weeks off of school, and while we spent more than half of the first week finishing up getting ready for Christmas, we had plenty of time to just be together. We went sledding several times, watched a couple of movies, and played lots of games together. We even got to have Hugh around for about half of the time. We never run out of things to do, but it was getting to the point after about a week and a half that I was feeling like we needed a bit more structure to make sure we were actually accomplishing something.
I mentioned something to my parents recently that captures my feelings perfectly: Life seems to jog along at a pace just a little faster than I can keep up with! But I need to be careful about how often I express that to our kids. I realized this while I was reading Alyssa’s school journal in which she talked about not having enough time to build snowmen because she and her brothers and sisters are just always too busy(!)
Steven would tell you that the biggest news I could possibly report is that we got a Nintendo Wii. (Notice my enthusiasm) Especially after their Wright cousins received a Wii for Christmas, my kids were certain that they were the only kids they knew who didn’t yet have one. They had been saving for months to buy a Wii (and would be for years if they were ever to earn the $350-400), and so as part of their Christmas presents we gave them $75 seed money. Steven grabbed every opportunity to do extra chores, including shoveling our driveway and sidewalk (and many of the neighbors’!) every time it snowed (which has been often) in order to earn some extra money. So, long story a little shorter, they ended up getting a good deal on eBay and scraping together enough money from their piggy banks, allowance, and extra chores to pay for it. I applaud them for working at it together, but I must admit I had hoped it would take them a little longer so that they would solidify some good work habits while earning it. Anyway, they are enjoying it and do a lot of extra chores and piano practice in order to earn electronics time during the week (beyond their three hours early Saturday mornings.) The good news about Steven is that he is still a very pleasant, respectful, intelligent kid; the bad news is that he is still failing to be conscientious about fulfilling his responsibilities at school, at church, and sometimes at home. I don’t want to harp on him because he really is basically a good kid, but I realize that we are doing him no favors by allowing him to neglect his responsibilities now – the consequences will only get bigger as he gets older. What to do, what to do…such is the ongoing challenge of being a good parent!
Though he insisted he didn’t care about getting a Wii since he has his Nintendo DS, Daniel has enjoyed having the Wii, and like Steven, constantly looks for ways to earn extra time playing it. I so enjoy hearing Steven and Daniel play lively duets on the piano. It’s a shame they don’t enjoy it more themselves, because it is great fun to listen to. Being the mean mom I am, I recently forced Steven and Daniel to go on a Boy Scout Klondike (winter campout) in an abandoned railroad tunnel. No amount of reasoning with the boys persuaded them that they should go until I said that I don’t want my boys to be wusses. I really hate sending my children off – to school, to a friend’s house, on a campout, whatever – unless I know that they are in good hands. I had to keep reminding myself of that as I imagined them bumping into a bear or a cougar or some other unfriendly animal also seeking shelter in the tunnel, or shivering and miserable, unable to keep warm. They were cold, but they survived it just fine. Since Daniel turned 12 in October, he has really taken his responsibilities as a deacon and a holder of the Aaronic Priesthood seriously. It has strengthened his testimony to be able to serve, and even to fast once a month (even though it is hard and none of us enjoy it.)
Julia loves the art class she started this semester. She is a good little artist, and even more than that, she is not afraid to try new things. She takes on challenges fearlessly. You can see that in the way she takes on new piano pieces that stretch her tiny hands and require them to fly up and down the keyboard. She enjoys science (chemistry, at the moment) and etymology (word origins). It is just about impossible to get her do something she doesn’t want to do, but she can do just about anything competently. She has a great teacher at school who is helping her class to write and perform an opera later this month, as well as to perform Romeo and Juliet next month. After more than two years of saving (and waiting for her mom to research it,) Julia finally purchased a microscope. The kids were all pretty fascinated with it for the first week or so, but haven’t done much with it since.
Michael is the only one of our kids involved in sports right now (sigh of relief). He plays basketball twice a week and enjoys it. He misses being able to go outside and throw his football up on the roof since everything has been covered with snow for two months now. Steven, Daniel, and Michael all won their class spelling bees last month and ended up competing against each other in the school spelling bee. Steven ended up tying for third, and Michael ended up in second place (and the alternate to compete in the Daily Herald Bee.) His teacher raves about how brilliant he is and what an angel he is in class (which is nice to hear, since he can be a challenge at home.) Thankfully, he seems to have plenty of friends now (which was a concern to us at the beginning of the school year.)
Alyssa turned 7 on January 22nd. We accidentally started a tradition sometime within the last couple of years that the birthday kid gets to choose an activity we do together as a family. She chose what is one of our kids’ favorite spots: Jumpin’ Jacks, a warehouse full of huge inflatable fun-house slides/trampolines. Alyssa complains often of headaches or nausea or some other pain, and I always wonder how much of it is legitimate physical ailments and how much of it is psychosomatic. If it is the latter, there should be something we can do about it to keep her from feeling she needs an ailment to get attention… I really do like Alyssa; she is sweet, affectionate, generally pleasant, and smart. I wonder what she needs? Thank goodness she has a warm, conscientious teacher and kind classmates.
That little whippersnapper Natalie is such a cute girl, but goodness has she been a bear lately! She is grumpy and yells often, and therefore has ended up in time out in the (locked) bathroom a lot. She found a crayon and a pen once while she was in there and took the opportunity to scribble all over the wall and tear up the wall board with the sharp point of the pen. Unfortunately, within a couple days of the time I repaired and repainted the wall, she found a way to do it again. She is finally catching on to reading, and while it is still tedious and requires a lot of effort, at least she knows she can do it. Natalie has spent more time working on preschool/kindergarten workbooks, and I think that has helped her with reading as well as developing better fine motor dexterity.
Of all our kids, I have to monitor TV time most closely with Matthew. I find him plopped down on the floor watching it probably a five times a day. He always watches PBS, but still, I want him using his brain in creative play instead of being passively entertained. He plays mostly with his cars and wooden train set, and lately has enjoyed coloring his Speed Racer coloring books and pretending to prepare food with the toy food and dishes. He is making Michael crazy because he keeps taking his little over-the-door basketball hoop so that he can play with it. Since he turned three in November, he started attending Primary at church. He misses being in Nursery, and told me repeatedly, “I don’t want to be big! I want to be small! I don’t want to go to Primary!” But he seems to have adjusted okay. He has a couple of friends with whom he asks to play almost daily.
My baby is eighteen months old now (and I’m not even pregnant!) Really, I can’t believe how quickly the time goes. It is so fun to watch our children’s personalities and talents and interests emerge. It is an amazing thing when you have a new little baby, to love this little person even though you have no idea who he or she is, and to watch each one of them learn. Of course, it can be tiring and exasperating, as you also learn that they have their own wills and make their own decisions, and make lots of mistakes and messes. Emily is so much fun; having her is twice as much fun because all her siblings adore her, too. She is curious and inquisitive and into everything. She steals candy, she writes all over herself (especially on her face and neck) any time she finds a marker or pen handy, she unzips the pockets of my purse and raids my makeup and gum, she pulls stacks of books off shelves almost daily. She walks around the house with hats and bracelets and purses, and bounces/jogs around the house trying to look like she doesn’t know how cute she is. She delights us all now that she can talk; she will at least try to mimic just about anything we ask her to say, and she will spontaneously name things she recognizes in our daily activities. We love her sweet greetings and hugs and kisses.
Tax season hasn’t been bad yet, but Hugh says it’s going to start being very busy next week. Hugh and I have had dental woes in the last couple of months: Hugh went in to get a root canal, the dentist drilled through his tooth and missed the canal completely, so had to cut the tooth in half, pull the damaged half, check and recheck multiple times to ensure that it was healing properly, and finally make a special crown with a metal piece to support the half-tooth that is left. Of course, he had to juggle his work schedule in order to make each of these 4 or 5 follow-up appointments. Even I, with my embarrassingly vast dental experience, had never heard of such a thing happening. As for me, I had to go to the dentist twice in five days for a root canal and a cracked tooth. But at least we have dentists, and insurance, and enough money to help us deal with all our tooth problems!
I could probably go on, but you and I both have other things we need to do! Hope you are well and happy!
I mentioned something to my parents recently that captures my feelings perfectly: Life seems to jog along at a pace just a little faster than I can keep up with! But I need to be careful about how often I express that to our kids. I realized this while I was reading Alyssa’s school journal in which she talked about not having enough time to build snowmen because she and her brothers and sisters are just always too busy(!)
Steven would tell you that the biggest news I could possibly report is that we got a Nintendo Wii. (Notice my enthusiasm) Especially after their Wright cousins received a Wii for Christmas, my kids were certain that they were the only kids they knew who didn’t yet have one. They had been saving for months to buy a Wii (and would be for years if they were ever to earn the $350-400), and so as part of their Christmas presents we gave them $75 seed money. Steven grabbed every opportunity to do extra chores, including shoveling our driveway and sidewalk (and many of the neighbors’!) every time it snowed (which has been often) in order to earn some extra money. So, long story a little shorter, they ended up getting a good deal on eBay and scraping together enough money from their piggy banks, allowance, and extra chores to pay for it. I applaud them for working at it together, but I must admit I had hoped it would take them a little longer so that they would solidify some good work habits while earning it. Anyway, they are enjoying it and do a lot of extra chores and piano practice in order to earn electronics time during the week (beyond their three hours early Saturday mornings.) The good news about Steven is that he is still a very pleasant, respectful, intelligent kid; the bad news is that he is still failing to be conscientious about fulfilling his responsibilities at school, at church, and sometimes at home. I don’t want to harp on him because he really is basically a good kid, but I realize that we are doing him no favors by allowing him to neglect his responsibilities now – the consequences will only get bigger as he gets older. What to do, what to do…such is the ongoing challenge of being a good parent!
Though he insisted he didn’t care about getting a Wii since he has his Nintendo DS, Daniel has enjoyed having the Wii, and like Steven, constantly looks for ways to earn extra time playing it. I so enjoy hearing Steven and Daniel play lively duets on the piano. It’s a shame they don’t enjoy it more themselves, because it is great fun to listen to. Being the mean mom I am, I recently forced Steven and Daniel to go on a Boy Scout Klondike (winter campout) in an abandoned railroad tunnel. No amount of reasoning with the boys persuaded them that they should go until I said that I don’t want my boys to be wusses. I really hate sending my children off – to school, to a friend’s house, on a campout, whatever – unless I know that they are in good hands. I had to keep reminding myself of that as I imagined them bumping into a bear or a cougar or some other unfriendly animal also seeking shelter in the tunnel, or shivering and miserable, unable to keep warm. They were cold, but they survived it just fine. Since Daniel turned 12 in October, he has really taken his responsibilities as a deacon and a holder of the Aaronic Priesthood seriously. It has strengthened his testimony to be able to serve, and even to fast once a month (even though it is hard and none of us enjoy it.)
Julia loves the art class she started this semester. She is a good little artist, and even more than that, she is not afraid to try new things. She takes on challenges fearlessly. You can see that in the way she takes on new piano pieces that stretch her tiny hands and require them to fly up and down the keyboard. She enjoys science (chemistry, at the moment) and etymology (word origins). It is just about impossible to get her do something she doesn’t want to do, but she can do just about anything competently. She has a great teacher at school who is helping her class to write and perform an opera later this month, as well as to perform Romeo and Juliet next month. After more than two years of saving (and waiting for her mom to research it,) Julia finally purchased a microscope. The kids were all pretty fascinated with it for the first week or so, but haven’t done much with it since.
Michael is the only one of our kids involved in sports right now (sigh of relief). He plays basketball twice a week and enjoys it. He misses being able to go outside and throw his football up on the roof since everything has been covered with snow for two months now. Steven, Daniel, and Michael all won their class spelling bees last month and ended up competing against each other in the school spelling bee. Steven ended up tying for third, and Michael ended up in second place (and the alternate to compete in the Daily Herald Bee.) His teacher raves about how brilliant he is and what an angel he is in class (which is nice to hear, since he can be a challenge at home.) Thankfully, he seems to have plenty of friends now (which was a concern to us at the beginning of the school year.)
Alyssa turned 7 on January 22nd. We accidentally started a tradition sometime within the last couple of years that the birthday kid gets to choose an activity we do together as a family. She chose what is one of our kids’ favorite spots: Jumpin’ Jacks, a warehouse full of huge inflatable fun-house slides/trampolines. Alyssa complains often of headaches or nausea or some other pain, and I always wonder how much of it is legitimate physical ailments and how much of it is psychosomatic. If it is the latter, there should be something we can do about it to keep her from feeling she needs an ailment to get attention… I really do like Alyssa; she is sweet, affectionate, generally pleasant, and smart. I wonder what she needs? Thank goodness she has a warm, conscientious teacher and kind classmates.
That little whippersnapper Natalie is such a cute girl, but goodness has she been a bear lately! She is grumpy and yells often, and therefore has ended up in time out in the (locked) bathroom a lot. She found a crayon and a pen once while she was in there and took the opportunity to scribble all over the wall and tear up the wall board with the sharp point of the pen. Unfortunately, within a couple days of the time I repaired and repainted the wall, she found a way to do it again. She is finally catching on to reading, and while it is still tedious and requires a lot of effort, at least she knows she can do it. Natalie has spent more time working on preschool/kindergarten workbooks, and I think that has helped her with reading as well as developing better fine motor dexterity.
Of all our kids, I have to monitor TV time most closely with Matthew. I find him plopped down on the floor watching it probably a five times a day. He always watches PBS, but still, I want him using his brain in creative play instead of being passively entertained. He plays mostly with his cars and wooden train set, and lately has enjoyed coloring his Speed Racer coloring books and pretending to prepare food with the toy food and dishes. He is making Michael crazy because he keeps taking his little over-the-door basketball hoop so that he can play with it. Since he turned three in November, he started attending Primary at church. He misses being in Nursery, and told me repeatedly, “I don’t want to be big! I want to be small! I don’t want to go to Primary!” But he seems to have adjusted okay. He has a couple of friends with whom he asks to play almost daily.
My baby is eighteen months old now (and I’m not even pregnant!) Really, I can’t believe how quickly the time goes. It is so fun to watch our children’s personalities and talents and interests emerge. It is an amazing thing when you have a new little baby, to love this little person even though you have no idea who he or she is, and to watch each one of them learn. Of course, it can be tiring and exasperating, as you also learn that they have their own wills and make their own decisions, and make lots of mistakes and messes. Emily is so much fun; having her is twice as much fun because all her siblings adore her, too. She is curious and inquisitive and into everything. She steals candy, she writes all over herself (especially on her face and neck) any time she finds a marker or pen handy, she unzips the pockets of my purse and raids my makeup and gum, she pulls stacks of books off shelves almost daily. She walks around the house with hats and bracelets and purses, and bounces/jogs around the house trying to look like she doesn’t know how cute she is. She delights us all now that she can talk; she will at least try to mimic just about anything we ask her to say, and she will spontaneously name things she recognizes in our daily activities. We love her sweet greetings and hugs and kisses.
Tax season hasn’t been bad yet, but Hugh says it’s going to start being very busy next week. Hugh and I have had dental woes in the last couple of months: Hugh went in to get a root canal, the dentist drilled through his tooth and missed the canal completely, so had to cut the tooth in half, pull the damaged half, check and recheck multiple times to ensure that it was healing properly, and finally make a special crown with a metal piece to support the half-tooth that is left. Of course, he had to juggle his work schedule in order to make each of these 4 or 5 follow-up appointments. Even I, with my embarrassingly vast dental experience, had never heard of such a thing happening. As for me, I had to go to the dentist twice in five days for a root canal and a cracked tooth. But at least we have dentists, and insurance, and enough money to help us deal with all our tooth problems!
I could probably go on, but you and I both have other things we need to do! Hope you are well and happy!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Christmas 2008
I can hardly believe another year has passed – as the old saying goes, time flies when you’re having fun! Life is good; we are very blessed.
We are approaching ten years of living in our home here in Utah, and we still enjoy very much our community and friends here. Hugh is still commuting to Salt Lake City for work, though he now has permission to work occasionally from home, so he is getting a little more sleep.
As for me, I love being a mom. Admittedly, I don’t enjoy every second of it – I could do without endless chores, stinky diapers, and squabbling – but I really do love being a mom and I am so grateful for every one of our children. My greatest challenges are having the wisdom to know what things are most important, and then having the time (and energy) to fit it all in! Our older five kids attend a charter school, and while it takes a considerable amount of time and commitment on my part, for the first time I feel at peace with the education our children are acquiring.
Our family adventures this year included a family reunion with all our Dosdall kin (all twelve of my siblings!) at Bear Lake, Utah in late June for one last hurrah before my dear parents left for Bangalore, India to serve an 18-month humanitarian mission at an orphanage supported by our church. We also were able to visit Disneyland for the first time as a family along with my sister, Kristen, and her family.
We entered a new era as Steven turned 13 in May this year. He is a pleasant, down-to-earth kid. We hope that he will keep that quiet confidence and goodness that are his with him all through his teenage years! He plays violin in the school orchestra and is still taking piano lessons. Much to his delight, Steven recently passed me up in height. Steven enjoys soccer, reading, playing with friends, and negotiating for as much time to play electronics as he possibly can.
Daniel turned 12 in October and became a deacon in our church, which has given him opportunities for more service and responsibility. Daniel has a great sense of humor and a tender heart. After faithfully saving his pennies for nine months, Daniel accomplished his goal of purchasing a Nintendo DS. He and Steven are enjoying the fruits of his labors. Despite dragging their feet when it comes time to practice, Steven and Daniel are becoming quite the pianists and it is fun to listen to the lively duets they play.
Julia turned 10 in July and is a very musical little person. She enjoys BYU sports, concerts with her dad on Temple Square, soccer, Sudoku, playing the piano, reading, and drawing. She has experimented in the kitchen enough that she can follow a recipe pretty much without my help from start to finish. (Cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, now that’s another matter entirely…)
Michael, who turned 8 in April, is all about school and sports. He played soccer and flag football this year and is just beginning the basketball season. Though he is young for a 4th grader, he is doing well and is enjoying school. He loves his cousin, Guts, and is so glad that the Wrights moved here to Spanish Fork this year. Michael is a talented writer and pianist, though he is very shy about showing off these talents.
Alyssa, who will be turning 7 in January, is our little home-body. It has been a rough few years since she started preschool as separation anxiety has been a major issue. To make a long story short: things are much improved after a few sessions with a pediatric therapist who helped me understand how I was contributing to her insecurity. (Lest I start thinking I know anything, my children are there to humble me!) She has been helped a lot by the teachers and administration as well as her fellow 1st graders. Alyssa is occasionally grumpy and obstinate, but more often very sweet, generous, and helpful. She is a pretty girl who likes pretty things and notices style and details (I don’t know yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing…)
Natalie, who just turned 5, is an interesting little person. Sometimes she is sweet as sugar, but then other times it shocks me to hear the mean, angry sounds that come out of such a pretty, innocent-looking face. She has unintentionally given her little brother an arsenal of mean names to call us when we displease him. She has a way with words, and recently came up with the ultimate insult by calling Matthew “Math-Ute” (the U of U Utes are BYU’s arch-rival.) She goes around the house showing off her new skills of whistling and snapping. She is a cute, spunky little person.
Matthew, who just turned 3, loves things that go. His favorite toys are Hot Wheels cars, a wooden train set, and puzzles, movies, and books about cars, trucks, tractors, machines, etc. He wears his beloved Speed Racer hat nearly 24 hours a day, allowing us to take it off only when he takes a bath, has his picture taken, or goes to church. He is becoming much more verbal, but sometimes we wish we had an interpreter to help us understand what he is trying to say, which I’m sure is frustrating to him. He can be difficult and demanding, but he is precious and has an adorably expressive face and voice.
Emily, our baby, is not really a baby anymore. Almost 17 months old now, she is constantly running, climbing, pulling chairs and stools around the house in order to reach all kinds of dangerous or messy things. Emily talks little but understands a lot. She loves her siblings and they love her. It is truly delightful to have a baby, especially with a house full of adoring siblings.
We are so grateful for you, our friends and family, and for the peace we have in our lives because of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and his wonderful Gospel. We pray that you are well and happy and can see the hand of the Lord in your lives through your good times as well as your challenges.
We are approaching ten years of living in our home here in Utah, and we still enjoy very much our community and friends here. Hugh is still commuting to Salt Lake City for work, though he now has permission to work occasionally from home, so he is getting a little more sleep.
As for me, I love being a mom. Admittedly, I don’t enjoy every second of it – I could do without endless chores, stinky diapers, and squabbling – but I really do love being a mom and I am so grateful for every one of our children. My greatest challenges are having the wisdom to know what things are most important, and then having the time (and energy) to fit it all in! Our older five kids attend a charter school, and while it takes a considerable amount of time and commitment on my part, for the first time I feel at peace with the education our children are acquiring.
Our family adventures this year included a family reunion with all our Dosdall kin (all twelve of my siblings!) at Bear Lake, Utah in late June for one last hurrah before my dear parents left for Bangalore, India to serve an 18-month humanitarian mission at an orphanage supported by our church. We also were able to visit Disneyland for the first time as a family along with my sister, Kristen, and her family.
We entered a new era as Steven turned 13 in May this year. He is a pleasant, down-to-earth kid. We hope that he will keep that quiet confidence and goodness that are his with him all through his teenage years! He plays violin in the school orchestra and is still taking piano lessons. Much to his delight, Steven recently passed me up in height. Steven enjoys soccer, reading, playing with friends, and negotiating for as much time to play electronics as he possibly can.
Daniel turned 12 in October and became a deacon in our church, which has given him opportunities for more service and responsibility. Daniel has a great sense of humor and a tender heart. After faithfully saving his pennies for nine months, Daniel accomplished his goal of purchasing a Nintendo DS. He and Steven are enjoying the fruits of his labors. Despite dragging their feet when it comes time to practice, Steven and Daniel are becoming quite the pianists and it is fun to listen to the lively duets they play.
Julia turned 10 in July and is a very musical little person. She enjoys BYU sports, concerts with her dad on Temple Square, soccer, Sudoku, playing the piano, reading, and drawing. She has experimented in the kitchen enough that she can follow a recipe pretty much without my help from start to finish. (Cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, now that’s another matter entirely…)
Michael, who turned 8 in April, is all about school and sports. He played soccer and flag football this year and is just beginning the basketball season. Though he is young for a 4th grader, he is doing well and is enjoying school. He loves his cousin, Guts, and is so glad that the Wrights moved here to Spanish Fork this year. Michael is a talented writer and pianist, though he is very shy about showing off these talents.
Alyssa, who will be turning 7 in January, is our little home-body. It has been a rough few years since she started preschool as separation anxiety has been a major issue. To make a long story short: things are much improved after a few sessions with a pediatric therapist who helped me understand how I was contributing to her insecurity. (Lest I start thinking I know anything, my children are there to humble me!) She has been helped a lot by the teachers and administration as well as her fellow 1st graders. Alyssa is occasionally grumpy and obstinate, but more often very sweet, generous, and helpful. She is a pretty girl who likes pretty things and notices style and details (I don’t know yet if this is a good thing or a bad thing…)
Natalie, who just turned 5, is an interesting little person. Sometimes she is sweet as sugar, but then other times it shocks me to hear the mean, angry sounds that come out of such a pretty, innocent-looking face. She has unintentionally given her little brother an arsenal of mean names to call us when we displease him. She has a way with words, and recently came up with the ultimate insult by calling Matthew “Math-Ute” (the U of U Utes are BYU’s arch-rival.) She goes around the house showing off her new skills of whistling and snapping. She is a cute, spunky little person.
Matthew, who just turned 3, loves things that go. His favorite toys are Hot Wheels cars, a wooden train set, and puzzles, movies, and books about cars, trucks, tractors, machines, etc. He wears his beloved Speed Racer hat nearly 24 hours a day, allowing us to take it off only when he takes a bath, has his picture taken, or goes to church. He is becoming much more verbal, but sometimes we wish we had an interpreter to help us understand what he is trying to say, which I’m sure is frustrating to him. He can be difficult and demanding, but he is precious and has an adorably expressive face and voice.
Emily, our baby, is not really a baby anymore. Almost 17 months old now, she is constantly running, climbing, pulling chairs and stools around the house in order to reach all kinds of dangerous or messy things. Emily talks little but understands a lot. She loves her siblings and they love her. It is truly delightful to have a baby, especially with a house full of adoring siblings.
We are so grateful for you, our friends and family, and for the peace we have in our lives because of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and his wonderful Gospel. We pray that you are well and happy and can see the hand of the Lord in your lives through your good times as well as your challenges.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
October 11, 2008
Hello Everyone!
We hope you are enjoying the last of the flowers and green leaves as the cool autumn winds blow in. It is beautiful – every season is – but I don’t enjoy the long, cold winter that is sure to follow. Anyway, we are doing well. We went on our first trip to Disneyland for a week near the end of September. We nearly ended up cancelling the trip because our children were being so irresponsible about their make-up homework since we would be missing an entire week of school, but once they realized the trip was in jeopardy, they whipped themselves into shape. We had so much fun together! I went into the whole Disneyland experience somewhat cynical, wondering what all the hype was about. But I have to admit that we had such a good time, I would love to go back as a family again at least once before the kids start leaving for college (in four short years!) Part of the fun was just being there together for the sole purpose of enjoying each other, but part of it was the family friendly, detail-oriented atmosphere of Disneyland. We loved it!
I will backtrack a little bit and report things that have gone on in the last couple of months. After a couple of weeks of being frustrated by the disorganization and the hassle of transporting reluctant kids to and from the charter school, Kristen and James decided to withdraw Jamie, Guts, and Josie and have them attend the local elementary school. We were all sad (especially the kids,) and it really caused me to reconsider whether we were doing the right thing, especially in view of how much more work it is for me. Since I am in charge of fundraising for the parent organization of the school, I didn’t feel like I could just drop out and leave them high and dry. Fortunately, as time has passed, we have become more comfortable with our decision and Wrights with theirs. I have been so impressed the last month and a half with the additions to the curriculum as well as most of the kids’ teachers, and for the first time I feel that our children are really being challenged and taught to think beyond just the rote, oversimplified concepts they have been taught until now. I haven’t spent much time volunteering at the school yet, but hopefully I can work out swapping kids with another mom one day a week so that we can both help in our children’s classes.
I don’t remember whether I mentioned that we have had leaking in our basement three different times over the last year anytime we have had a large amount of rain or snowmelt, but it had become big concern and hassle, and I knew we would need to figure out how to fix it before the ground freezes again. Thanks to my dad and my brother, Mike, the problem is now fixed (hopefully forever!) after a day of hard work drilling through our impenetrable clay soil and some plastic tarps which were inexplicably placed in a couple of the window wells and were preventing water from draining. What a relief – thank you, Dad and Mike! We also had new countertops and a new sink installed in our kitchen just a couple days before we left for Disneyland. The countertops are beautiful, but even more than that, I love the deep stainless steel sink which looks shiny and clean and hides the dirty dishes, and the new faucet which no longer leaks water onto the wood cabinets below.
I’m so grateful that Hugh takes such good care of us that we don’t have to worry about the necessities and can do fun extras like Disneyland and new counters once in a while. Hugh has been able to work from home only a handful of times since we got high-speed internet. People keep scheduling meetings for which he must be present, so at least so far it hasn’t worked out the way we had planned. He doesn’t seem as tired lately as some times in the past, thank goodness. He has enjoyed watching BYU Football, though he says it has been a relatively boring season because BYU is so much better than the teams they have played.
Steven, Daniel, Julia, and Alyssa just finished their soccer season within the last week. Steven loves soccer so much that he dropped out of his art class when he found that a soccer class was offered. It hasn’t turned out to be what he was hoping, but he will be glad to have it, especially now that the regular season is over. Steven opted to take two advanced math classes this year, and the jury is still out as to whether that was the best decision. About a week before our Disneyland trip, I found out that Steven was failing his Health class and had a C- in Algebra 2. He is fully capable of earning all A’s, so we have had to put some restrictions on him until he figures out how to apply himself in order to earn the grades he should be getting. He is a reluctant Scout, who would skip his Young Men activities at church most of the time, the Pow-wows and campouts always if we let him. Still, he is basically a good, pleasant kid. Hopefully we are pushing him in the areas which matter the most.
Daniel is enjoying school, thanks to a great teacher, and a new friend he made – a kid named Jon who is attending school for the first time in his life, having been home-schooled through fifth grade. Daniel likes his elective art class, but is also expressing an interest in drama. He has specified that there is to be no singing or dancing, ONLY acting, so we’ll have to see if there is such an option. Daniel, Julia, and Michael are participating in a program called RAD kids, which teaches children how and when to defend themselves against aggression or harm. Since the twelve hours of classes are taught on the weekends during what would otherwise be the kids’ treasured free time, they were very resistant to the idea of participating in the class. I gave them no choice and a little bribery (a shake or treat after each class,) and I really think that in the end they will be glad they did it.
Julia also has a wonderful teacher and is enjoying and being challenged in school. She is currently working on a board game based on the Underground Railroad for a project in history. Her class will be writing and producing an opera together this year in school. The charter school holds a History Fair on Halloween during which each grade level dresses up as characters from a certain assigned time period or geographical region. The fifth grade was assigned the Civil War, so originally Julia wanted to sew (or wanted me to sew) a Southern Belle type dress, but since I have qualms about whether we have the skill and the time to do that, she has decided instead that she will dress as a slave (we can probably handle that.)
Michael was so sad to lose his cousin, Guts, as a classmate. He is struggling with a competent but strict teacher. He is very bright, but emotionally immature, which raises behavioral challenges at home (and probably at school) in terms of his not taking ownership of things that are his responsibility (like homework, chores, practicing piano, and just basically being pleasant to others.) I am hoping to help him to understand that when he makes a choice, there are always consequences associated with that choice – some good, and some bad – and he needs to learn to look at both the immediate and the eventual consequences of his choices and weigh them out. He just finished his first season of flag football, which he enjoyed. He is not the biggest kid on the team, but he is one of the fastest. Since he takes the game seriously and is quick, he was able to score half a dozen touchdowns throughout the season.
It has been an interesting couple of months with Alyssa. She has had a tendency ever since she was in preschool to exhibit serious separation anxiety. You may remember what a challenge it was last year for me to get her to go to kindergarten and dance class. I had hoped that it was just a phase, and that she would see that even though she may be afraid when she goes, everything turns out fine, we’re still here for her, she’s okay, etc. A couple weeks into school she started becoming very anxious and throwing tantrums and clinging to me, sobbing and refusing to go to school. The assistant principal and the secretaries at the office were so kind and accommodating to Alyssa, allowing her to sit with them as long as she needed to in order to gather up the courage to go to class. Alyssa loves her teacher, and there are some really sweet kids in her class (one morning four of her classmates stopped to try to comfort and reassure Alyssa when she was struggling to leave me.) When I had tried everything I could think of to figure out where this was coming from and what to do about it, I decided to take her to a psychologist. The therapist has worked with me more than with Alyssa to help me understand how to approach the situation so that Alyssa will respond differently, and it has helped a lot. I wish I knew more of this parenting stuff intuitively, but every kid is so different, and what works with one doesn’t necessarily work for another. Anyway, hopefully we will be able to apply what we have learned to the other kids as well.
We decided to try a different kind of music class with Natalie and Alyssa called “Let’s Play Music” which teaches music theory through games and songs and a lot of hands-on, multi-sensory techniques. I have to attend the class with the girls every other week, so it is fortunate that Steven and Daniel are willing and able to watch the little ones for an hour or so while I am gone. Alyssa, Natalie, and I are all out of our comfort zones singing and dancing in front of/alongside other people, so hopefully this will help us to not be so shy and self-conscious. Natalie has been trying Alyssa’s trick of refusing to go to preschool, but since I have a better understanding of how to respond to it, it hasn’t gotten too carried away. It is fun to get into the mind of a four year old. Natalie told me, “If I grow up to be a cement worker, I won’t swear because you’ve taught me right.” (This after various related conversations over the last year or two...) Fortunately, Natalie has been more sweet than sour lately, but like Alyssa, her mood can change very unexpectedly. Natalie likes to check out books from the library and “read” them to me. She is able to sound out simple words, but doesn’t have the desire or tenacity to really learn how to read just yet. She also thinks she can play all different songs on the digital piano that are programmed in and will play correctly whether she hits the right notes or not. I hope that feature will not end up being counter-productive to her musical education!
Like his brother Michael did when he was two or three, Matthew has a hat to which he is very attached. He wears it every moment he is awake, sleeps with it right next to him, and seeks it out the moment he wakes from a nap or in the morning. His original “Old Navy” hat had become very ragged and dirty-looking, and we wondered how we could ever get him to part with it until Julia found a spiffy black Speed Racer hat, which he instantly took a liking to. He is in the habit of whining, crying, throwing fits, and generally being quite unpleasant, so now that he is becoming more verbal, we are trying to teach him how to use words to express what he wants. He does have such an irresistibly cute, animated little face, especially when he is happy or excited about something.
Emily, now 14 ½ months old, is becoming such a little person. She is not as stoic as she was for a long time; she actually smiles and claps and gives “high fives” and other fun responses – at least to people in our family (she is still quiet and shy with anyone she doesn’t know well.) She carries on conversations with us in her own language, complete with nods or shakes of the head and very emphatically pronounced sounds and lively expressions. She is constantly climbing (and falling) and getting into things. She thinks she is too big to crawl up and down the stairs, even though she is so small each stair comes halfway up her thigh. She skillfully supports herself walking up the stairs with one hand braced against the wall, and goes down on her behind, one step at a time. She has learned to sleep through the night most of the time, but her naps are erratic since I often have to pack her up four or five times a day to run older kids to school and other activities.
I know this is very long, but one last thing I will mention is that my parents are still here. They were supposed to have left yesterday for their humanitarian mission to Bangalore, India, but a couple days ago found out that their visas had not yet come through. So we are enjoying a few last chances to see them this weekend before their 18-month absence.
We hope you are happy and well.
We hope you are enjoying the last of the flowers and green leaves as the cool autumn winds blow in. It is beautiful – every season is – but I don’t enjoy the long, cold winter that is sure to follow. Anyway, we are doing well. We went on our first trip to Disneyland for a week near the end of September. We nearly ended up cancelling the trip because our children were being so irresponsible about their make-up homework since we would be missing an entire week of school, but once they realized the trip was in jeopardy, they whipped themselves into shape. We had so much fun together! I went into the whole Disneyland experience somewhat cynical, wondering what all the hype was about. But I have to admit that we had such a good time, I would love to go back as a family again at least once before the kids start leaving for college (in four short years!) Part of the fun was just being there together for the sole purpose of enjoying each other, but part of it was the family friendly, detail-oriented atmosphere of Disneyland. We loved it!
I will backtrack a little bit and report things that have gone on in the last couple of months. After a couple of weeks of being frustrated by the disorganization and the hassle of transporting reluctant kids to and from the charter school, Kristen and James decided to withdraw Jamie, Guts, and Josie and have them attend the local elementary school. We were all sad (especially the kids,) and it really caused me to reconsider whether we were doing the right thing, especially in view of how much more work it is for me. Since I am in charge of fundraising for the parent organization of the school, I didn’t feel like I could just drop out and leave them high and dry. Fortunately, as time has passed, we have become more comfortable with our decision and Wrights with theirs. I have been so impressed the last month and a half with the additions to the curriculum as well as most of the kids’ teachers, and for the first time I feel that our children are really being challenged and taught to think beyond just the rote, oversimplified concepts they have been taught until now. I haven’t spent much time volunteering at the school yet, but hopefully I can work out swapping kids with another mom one day a week so that we can both help in our children’s classes.
I don’t remember whether I mentioned that we have had leaking in our basement three different times over the last year anytime we have had a large amount of rain or snowmelt, but it had become big concern and hassle, and I knew we would need to figure out how to fix it before the ground freezes again. Thanks to my dad and my brother, Mike, the problem is now fixed (hopefully forever!) after a day of hard work drilling through our impenetrable clay soil and some plastic tarps which were inexplicably placed in a couple of the window wells and were preventing water from draining. What a relief – thank you, Dad and Mike! We also had new countertops and a new sink installed in our kitchen just a couple days before we left for Disneyland. The countertops are beautiful, but even more than that, I love the deep stainless steel sink which looks shiny and clean and hides the dirty dishes, and the new faucet which no longer leaks water onto the wood cabinets below.
I’m so grateful that Hugh takes such good care of us that we don’t have to worry about the necessities and can do fun extras like Disneyland and new counters once in a while. Hugh has been able to work from home only a handful of times since we got high-speed internet. People keep scheduling meetings for which he must be present, so at least so far it hasn’t worked out the way we had planned. He doesn’t seem as tired lately as some times in the past, thank goodness. He has enjoyed watching BYU Football, though he says it has been a relatively boring season because BYU is so much better than the teams they have played.
Steven, Daniel, Julia, and Alyssa just finished their soccer season within the last week. Steven loves soccer so much that he dropped out of his art class when he found that a soccer class was offered. It hasn’t turned out to be what he was hoping, but he will be glad to have it, especially now that the regular season is over. Steven opted to take two advanced math classes this year, and the jury is still out as to whether that was the best decision. About a week before our Disneyland trip, I found out that Steven was failing his Health class and had a C- in Algebra 2. He is fully capable of earning all A’s, so we have had to put some restrictions on him until he figures out how to apply himself in order to earn the grades he should be getting. He is a reluctant Scout, who would skip his Young Men activities at church most of the time, the Pow-wows and campouts always if we let him. Still, he is basically a good, pleasant kid. Hopefully we are pushing him in the areas which matter the most.
Daniel is enjoying school, thanks to a great teacher, and a new friend he made – a kid named Jon who is attending school for the first time in his life, having been home-schooled through fifth grade. Daniel likes his elective art class, but is also expressing an interest in drama. He has specified that there is to be no singing or dancing, ONLY acting, so we’ll have to see if there is such an option. Daniel, Julia, and Michael are participating in a program called RAD kids, which teaches children how and when to defend themselves against aggression or harm. Since the twelve hours of classes are taught on the weekends during what would otherwise be the kids’ treasured free time, they were very resistant to the idea of participating in the class. I gave them no choice and a little bribery (a shake or treat after each class,) and I really think that in the end they will be glad they did it.
Julia also has a wonderful teacher and is enjoying and being challenged in school. She is currently working on a board game based on the Underground Railroad for a project in history. Her class will be writing and producing an opera together this year in school. The charter school holds a History Fair on Halloween during which each grade level dresses up as characters from a certain assigned time period or geographical region. The fifth grade was assigned the Civil War, so originally Julia wanted to sew (or wanted me to sew) a Southern Belle type dress, but since I have qualms about whether we have the skill and the time to do that, she has decided instead that she will dress as a slave (we can probably handle that.)
Michael was so sad to lose his cousin, Guts, as a classmate. He is struggling with a competent but strict teacher. He is very bright, but emotionally immature, which raises behavioral challenges at home (and probably at school) in terms of his not taking ownership of things that are his responsibility (like homework, chores, practicing piano, and just basically being pleasant to others.) I am hoping to help him to understand that when he makes a choice, there are always consequences associated with that choice – some good, and some bad – and he needs to learn to look at both the immediate and the eventual consequences of his choices and weigh them out. He just finished his first season of flag football, which he enjoyed. He is not the biggest kid on the team, but he is one of the fastest. Since he takes the game seriously and is quick, he was able to score half a dozen touchdowns throughout the season.
It has been an interesting couple of months with Alyssa. She has had a tendency ever since she was in preschool to exhibit serious separation anxiety. You may remember what a challenge it was last year for me to get her to go to kindergarten and dance class. I had hoped that it was just a phase, and that she would see that even though she may be afraid when she goes, everything turns out fine, we’re still here for her, she’s okay, etc. A couple weeks into school she started becoming very anxious and throwing tantrums and clinging to me, sobbing and refusing to go to school. The assistant principal and the secretaries at the office were so kind and accommodating to Alyssa, allowing her to sit with them as long as she needed to in order to gather up the courage to go to class. Alyssa loves her teacher, and there are some really sweet kids in her class (one morning four of her classmates stopped to try to comfort and reassure Alyssa when she was struggling to leave me.) When I had tried everything I could think of to figure out where this was coming from and what to do about it, I decided to take her to a psychologist. The therapist has worked with me more than with Alyssa to help me understand how to approach the situation so that Alyssa will respond differently, and it has helped a lot. I wish I knew more of this parenting stuff intuitively, but every kid is so different, and what works with one doesn’t necessarily work for another. Anyway, hopefully we will be able to apply what we have learned to the other kids as well.
We decided to try a different kind of music class with Natalie and Alyssa called “Let’s Play Music” which teaches music theory through games and songs and a lot of hands-on, multi-sensory techniques. I have to attend the class with the girls every other week, so it is fortunate that Steven and Daniel are willing and able to watch the little ones for an hour or so while I am gone. Alyssa, Natalie, and I are all out of our comfort zones singing and dancing in front of/alongside other people, so hopefully this will help us to not be so shy and self-conscious. Natalie has been trying Alyssa’s trick of refusing to go to preschool, but since I have a better understanding of how to respond to it, it hasn’t gotten too carried away. It is fun to get into the mind of a four year old. Natalie told me, “If I grow up to be a cement worker, I won’t swear because you’ve taught me right.” (This after various related conversations over the last year or two...) Fortunately, Natalie has been more sweet than sour lately, but like Alyssa, her mood can change very unexpectedly. Natalie likes to check out books from the library and “read” them to me. She is able to sound out simple words, but doesn’t have the desire or tenacity to really learn how to read just yet. She also thinks she can play all different songs on the digital piano that are programmed in and will play correctly whether she hits the right notes or not. I hope that feature will not end up being counter-productive to her musical education!
Like his brother Michael did when he was two or three, Matthew has a hat to which he is very attached. He wears it every moment he is awake, sleeps with it right next to him, and seeks it out the moment he wakes from a nap or in the morning. His original “Old Navy” hat had become very ragged and dirty-looking, and we wondered how we could ever get him to part with it until Julia found a spiffy black Speed Racer hat, which he instantly took a liking to. He is in the habit of whining, crying, throwing fits, and generally being quite unpleasant, so now that he is becoming more verbal, we are trying to teach him how to use words to express what he wants. He does have such an irresistibly cute, animated little face, especially when he is happy or excited about something.
Emily, now 14 ½ months old, is becoming such a little person. She is not as stoic as she was for a long time; she actually smiles and claps and gives “high fives” and other fun responses – at least to people in our family (she is still quiet and shy with anyone she doesn’t know well.) She carries on conversations with us in her own language, complete with nods or shakes of the head and very emphatically pronounced sounds and lively expressions. She is constantly climbing (and falling) and getting into things. She thinks she is too big to crawl up and down the stairs, even though she is so small each stair comes halfway up her thigh. She skillfully supports herself walking up the stairs with one hand braced against the wall, and goes down on her behind, one step at a time. She has learned to sleep through the night most of the time, but her naps are erratic since I often have to pack her up four or five times a day to run older kids to school and other activities.
I know this is very long, but one last thing I will mention is that my parents are still here. They were supposed to have left yesterday for their humanitarian mission to Bangalore, India, but a couple days ago found out that their visas had not yet come through. So we are enjoying a few last chances to see them this weekend before their 18-month absence.
We hope you are happy and well.
Monday, August 11, 2008
August 6, 2008 letter
It has been a fun, busy, fast summer for us. We started June with several of the kids participating in various day/overnight camps. My siblings and their families began arriving during the last week of June for the Dosdall Family Reunion. We spent three days together with our much-loved Dosdall relatives at Bear Lake, about four hours’ drive northeast of Spanish Fork on the Utah-Idaho border. We had a great time, and though we never get much rest when we’re together, we wish everyone could live near. We love having Kristen and her family just a few blocks away – the kids love playing together and never seem to tire of each other – and it would be so nice to have that closeness with more of our family. Anyway, we sure appreciate the efforts everyone made to be there; we know it is a sacrifice. This reunion was kind of a last hurrah before my parents leave on their long planned for and much anticipated 1 ½ year mission to (drumroll please)......Bangalore, India! We will certainly miss them when they leave at the end of September, but we are excited for them to have this opportunity to serve and learn and experience new things, and we appreciate the example they are setting for us and for our children.
We are also looking forward to seeing Hugh’s siblings and parents this coming weekend. I can’t honestly say that I am looking forward to camping, as it is so much work to pack and unpack, as well as to keep track of all our little ones in the great outdoors, but the kids love it and I’m sure would feel like their summer was incomplete if we didn’t go at least once.
Steven (reluctantly) went to Scout Camp in June and surprised himself by enjoying it. While I wouldn’t accuse him of being an overachiever, he did come home with five merit badges. Steven and Daniel have done some yard work for a neighbor on and off throughout the summer, which is a good thing since Steven and Michael have decided to start saving up to buy a Nintendo Wii. We increased the kids’ allowance and upped the reward for doing extra chores to $.50. While I am not anxious to have the boys spend more of their time playing electronics, I do like this exercise in setting a goal, having a plan, and staying focused on that goal until they achieve it. I still allot only two to three hours of time each Saturday morning for the kids to play electronics, but since they would like much more than that, the boys tend to use the piano practice rule (2 minutes piano= 1 minute electronics) almost every day. Since we got high-speed internet a few weeks ago, Steven has spent a lot of time reading through and downloading a bunch of cards to expand playing options for Talisman, the game he bought with his birthday money. He has not been as creative about keeping himself busy this summer, wanting to play with friends or play electronics most of the time, but he really is a good kid. He is acquiring some great people skills. He is complimentary without being a sycophant, he is generally helpful rather than whiny or demanding when he wants something.
After nine months of scrimping and saving every penny (except those spent on other people,) Daniel finally found a good deal and purchased a Nintendo Gameboy DS on eBay. I worried that he would be disappointed after all his hard work, but he seems very happy with his purchase, even though he has only one game and would have to save for another six months to earn enough money to buy another one. Of all the kids, he has complained the most about me being a slave driver – making him continue piano, reading, chores, etc. through the summer. He wanted to quit piano altogether, but I explained to him that since we don’t live on a farm, and since Hugh and I are not drill sergeants, we have to create something at which these guys have to work hard. So for now, piano is it. His attitude has changed somewhat since he was asked to accompany one of the songs for the Primary Sacrament Meeting Program coming up in October. He went to work on it right away, and can play it quite well now, though it’s a different thing entirely playing it when people are singing, and having the composure to keep going even if he makes a mistake. Daniel talked the six older kids into scraping their money together to send Hugh and me out on a date. I was so touched by their sweetness and generosity, and I wanted to give them their money back, but I also want to acknowledge and accept their sacrifice for what it is. I realized that Daniel doesn’t hug me several times a day like he used to; he still likes me and is still sweet to me, but I guess he just doesn’t feel the need to hug me as much. That makes me sad because it reminds me that my kids won’t always want to be close to me and that they won’t always be here to hug! The beginning of a new school year is always such a hard time for me because I enjoy these guys, and it reminds me of how quickly the time goes, how fleeting each stage of life is.
We celebrated Julia’s 10th birthday (July 16th) with one school friend and her three Wright cousins decorating cupcakes, going on a treasure hunt, and playing night games. We bought her the two things she really wanted - rollerblades and a Supersoaker watergun – and thanks in part to the birthday money she received from relatives, she just broke the $100 mark for her “microscope fund.” She has been saving for over a year now and some of her siblings have contributed to help her get to this point, so I really need to research it a bit and see if we can get at least a halfway decent microscope for $100. Throughout the summer, Julia has gone to several concerts on Temple Square in Salt Lake City with Hugh (including the big Pioneer Day celebration with the Osmonds) and a couple of plays at a great little theater in Orem. When I realized I hadn’t taken some of my older kids to the doctor for regular checkups in over five years, I decided I should do that before school starts. The kids are glad to have their Aunt Kristen do the majority of the check-up. I feel like I have spent many hours at the doctor’s office the last couple of weeks, and will need to schedule appointments with the ophthalmologist for Daniel and Julia, who may need glasses. I am sorry for any bad genes I have passed on to my children!
Michael suffered his first major sunburn at the Dosdall Reunion at Bear Lake, and I am sorry and hoping it served as a learning experience for us both! We were so excited to find out that Michael will be in the same school class this year as his cousin, Guts. They are both smart, athletic, cute boys and get along so well; I think Guts will help Michael greatly to break out of his shell this year. Michael is at a stage in which he is motivated only by very concrete rewards. It’s almost comical how getting a treat at the end of Scouts or a piano lesson or a doctor’s appointment changes his attitude about the whole experience. Michael will be playing flag football this fall instead of soccer, and he will be starting practices soon. Just thinking about the craziness that is imminent – school, preschool, homework, football, soccer, piano lessons, music lessons, Scouts, Young Men, my fundraising responsibilities at the school, my church responsibilities, etc... it just makes me tense and stressed to think about it. Wasn’t I just saying something about how fleeting this time is? I guess the key to happiness is to stop waiting to arrive at some future point when you can start enjoying life – so I’d better figure out how to enjoy that craziness to some degree.
Alyssa and Julia have both become quite proficient at fixing hair in the last couple of months. Alyssa has a much easier time talking Julia into putting curlers in her hair than me, and Julia does at least as good a job as I do. Alyssa can part and braid her own hair well enough that I will let her wear it that way even when we leave the house. She has done some more humorous things with Natalie’s hair, like when she put a dozen or so Medusa-like braids coming out all over her head. The three girls like to play what they call “The Airplane Game” in which they seatbelt themselves into an airplane and fly to different places and have adventures all over the world. I found Alyssa dressed in a Snow White dress being Natalie’s teacher – I’m not sure where the costume fit in, but it was cute. Since Alyssa is so shy, she is nervous for school and her new music class to start in the next couple weeks. Hopefully it will reassure her to have her siblings at the same school with her.
Natalie will be starting preschool in a couple of weeks, and since she has done better the last month or so with going to her Primary class, I have hopes that she will be just fine going to preschool three afternoons a week. Natalie is very sweet and forgiving of Emily. She often reassures me, “I’m okay with her scratching (hitting, sneezing on, kapowing, whatever) me.” She says the funniest things sometimes, like when she came over to me with a pained look on her face and explained, “I just hurt my tongue because I accidentally bit it with my vampire teeth!” (Meaning, her incisors...) She can also be so defiant, sassy, and mean. I have resorted to giving her a little taste of bar soap when she says mean or sassy things, reminding her that if she chooses to say mean or bad words, the soap will help her to clean the bad language out of her mouth so she will choose not to use those words next time. I am surprised to hear the mean sounds that can come out of such a cute little person! She recently mastered whistling and snapping with her fingers, so Hugh sometimes calls her “Snappy”. She loves to go swimming, and Hugh is such a good sport about it, he has taken some of the kids to the indoor/outdoor Lehi pool three of the last four Saturdays.
We love Matthew, but he is not the easiest kid! He does a lot of screaming and throwing fits because he often can’t have what he wants when he wants it. He bullies poor little Emily, but I think he likes her. Often the first thing he does in the morning is go straight to her room and watch her sleeping in her crib. Sometimes he will just sit next to her crib and look at books while she sleeps, but most of the time, he wakes her up by yelling excitedly, “Happy Emily! Happy Emily! Look, Happy Emily is awake!” (Surprise, surprise!) He likes to go to the library to look for more books about cars, trucks, and trains, and carries his books around the house and looks at them often. He has survived the summer wearing long-sleeved shirts the majority of the time, not because he doesn’t have other clothes, just because he refuses to wear them.
Emily is officially no longer a baby, but now a toddler. She turned one on July 26th, and has been walking quite well for several weeks. I miss the little cuddly baby she used to be, but it is fun to see her personality coming out more as she gets older. She is more mobile, more communicative, and more prone to throw fits. She doesn’t talk much, just the occasional “Mom”, “Dad”, or “uh-oh” but she does shake or nod her head, wave, and seems to understand more of what we say. She is adored by her siblings and cousins, and usually enjoys the attention. She has such a cute six-toothed grin, and delights us with her bouncy “dancing.” It shouldn’t surprise me, but like all her siblings, she loves her daddy and greets him warmly even though she sees him for only a few hours every evening when he comes home from work. I guess that says something about what kind of dad he is when he is home!
I have been urging Hugh to look into working from home sometimes so that he can sleep in at least a couple days a week. We recently signed up for high-speed internet and shuffled bedrooms around so that Hugh will have an office upstairs where he can work once the kids start back to school. We will need to get a lock for that door, and it will take some time to teach the kids that when Dad is working at home, it will be just as if he were working in Salt Lake City We both always feel like there is simply not enough time to do all the things we would like to and should be doing even though we feel like we have cut out all the unnecessary stuff, so hopefully this will help a little.
We are planning our first trip to Disneyland in September, and we are all excited, especially since we were able to plan it to overlap with the Wrights’ vacation so cousins can be there together. I have put it off for years because it is going to cost a lot of money, and I wanted to make sure the kids are old enough to enjoy and remember it, so hopefully this is the right time and it will be worth the investment. Other than school starting in less than a week and a half, everything is good. We are well and happy and grateful to Heavenly Father for our family, our friends, our health, our home, and most of all, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
We are also looking forward to seeing Hugh’s siblings and parents this coming weekend. I can’t honestly say that I am looking forward to camping, as it is so much work to pack and unpack, as well as to keep track of all our little ones in the great outdoors, but the kids love it and I’m sure would feel like their summer was incomplete if we didn’t go at least once.
Steven (reluctantly) went to Scout Camp in June and surprised himself by enjoying it. While I wouldn’t accuse him of being an overachiever, he did come home with five merit badges. Steven and Daniel have done some yard work for a neighbor on and off throughout the summer, which is a good thing since Steven and Michael have decided to start saving up to buy a Nintendo Wii. We increased the kids’ allowance and upped the reward for doing extra chores to $.50. While I am not anxious to have the boys spend more of their time playing electronics, I do like this exercise in setting a goal, having a plan, and staying focused on that goal until they achieve it. I still allot only two to three hours of time each Saturday morning for the kids to play electronics, but since they would like much more than that, the boys tend to use the piano practice rule (2 minutes piano= 1 minute electronics) almost every day. Since we got high-speed internet a few weeks ago, Steven has spent a lot of time reading through and downloading a bunch of cards to expand playing options for Talisman, the game he bought with his birthday money. He has not been as creative about keeping himself busy this summer, wanting to play with friends or play electronics most of the time, but he really is a good kid. He is acquiring some great people skills. He is complimentary without being a sycophant, he is generally helpful rather than whiny or demanding when he wants something.
After nine months of scrimping and saving every penny (except those spent on other people,) Daniel finally found a good deal and purchased a Nintendo Gameboy DS on eBay. I worried that he would be disappointed after all his hard work, but he seems very happy with his purchase, even though he has only one game and would have to save for another six months to earn enough money to buy another one. Of all the kids, he has complained the most about me being a slave driver – making him continue piano, reading, chores, etc. through the summer. He wanted to quit piano altogether, but I explained to him that since we don’t live on a farm, and since Hugh and I are not drill sergeants, we have to create something at which these guys have to work hard. So for now, piano is it. His attitude has changed somewhat since he was asked to accompany one of the songs for the Primary Sacrament Meeting Program coming up in October. He went to work on it right away, and can play it quite well now, though it’s a different thing entirely playing it when people are singing, and having the composure to keep going even if he makes a mistake. Daniel talked the six older kids into scraping their money together to send Hugh and me out on a date. I was so touched by their sweetness and generosity, and I wanted to give them their money back, but I also want to acknowledge and accept their sacrifice for what it is. I realized that Daniel doesn’t hug me several times a day like he used to; he still likes me and is still sweet to me, but I guess he just doesn’t feel the need to hug me as much. That makes me sad because it reminds me that my kids won’t always want to be close to me and that they won’t always be here to hug! The beginning of a new school year is always such a hard time for me because I enjoy these guys, and it reminds me of how quickly the time goes, how fleeting each stage of life is.
We celebrated Julia’s 10th birthday (July 16th) with one school friend and her three Wright cousins decorating cupcakes, going on a treasure hunt, and playing night games. We bought her the two things she really wanted - rollerblades and a Supersoaker watergun – and thanks in part to the birthday money she received from relatives, she just broke the $100 mark for her “microscope fund.” She has been saving for over a year now and some of her siblings have contributed to help her get to this point, so I really need to research it a bit and see if we can get at least a halfway decent microscope for $100. Throughout the summer, Julia has gone to several concerts on Temple Square in Salt Lake City with Hugh (including the big Pioneer Day celebration with the Osmonds) and a couple of plays at a great little theater in Orem. When I realized I hadn’t taken some of my older kids to the doctor for regular checkups in over five years, I decided I should do that before school starts. The kids are glad to have their Aunt Kristen do the majority of the check-up. I feel like I have spent many hours at the doctor’s office the last couple of weeks, and will need to schedule appointments with the ophthalmologist for Daniel and Julia, who may need glasses. I am sorry for any bad genes I have passed on to my children!
Michael suffered his first major sunburn at the Dosdall Reunion at Bear Lake, and I am sorry and hoping it served as a learning experience for us both! We were so excited to find out that Michael will be in the same school class this year as his cousin, Guts. They are both smart, athletic, cute boys and get along so well; I think Guts will help Michael greatly to break out of his shell this year. Michael is at a stage in which he is motivated only by very concrete rewards. It’s almost comical how getting a treat at the end of Scouts or a piano lesson or a doctor’s appointment changes his attitude about the whole experience. Michael will be playing flag football this fall instead of soccer, and he will be starting practices soon. Just thinking about the craziness that is imminent – school, preschool, homework, football, soccer, piano lessons, music lessons, Scouts, Young Men, my fundraising responsibilities at the school, my church responsibilities, etc... it just makes me tense and stressed to think about it. Wasn’t I just saying something about how fleeting this time is? I guess the key to happiness is to stop waiting to arrive at some future point when you can start enjoying life – so I’d better figure out how to enjoy that craziness to some degree.
Alyssa and Julia have both become quite proficient at fixing hair in the last couple of months. Alyssa has a much easier time talking Julia into putting curlers in her hair than me, and Julia does at least as good a job as I do. Alyssa can part and braid her own hair well enough that I will let her wear it that way even when we leave the house. She has done some more humorous things with Natalie’s hair, like when she put a dozen or so Medusa-like braids coming out all over her head. The three girls like to play what they call “The Airplane Game” in which they seatbelt themselves into an airplane and fly to different places and have adventures all over the world. I found Alyssa dressed in a Snow White dress being Natalie’s teacher – I’m not sure where the costume fit in, but it was cute. Since Alyssa is so shy, she is nervous for school and her new music class to start in the next couple weeks. Hopefully it will reassure her to have her siblings at the same school with her.
Natalie will be starting preschool in a couple of weeks, and since she has done better the last month or so with going to her Primary class, I have hopes that she will be just fine going to preschool three afternoons a week. Natalie is very sweet and forgiving of Emily. She often reassures me, “I’m okay with her scratching (hitting, sneezing on, kapowing, whatever) me.” She says the funniest things sometimes, like when she came over to me with a pained look on her face and explained, “I just hurt my tongue because I accidentally bit it with my vampire teeth!” (Meaning, her incisors...) She can also be so defiant, sassy, and mean. I have resorted to giving her a little taste of bar soap when she says mean or sassy things, reminding her that if she chooses to say mean or bad words, the soap will help her to clean the bad language out of her mouth so she will choose not to use those words next time. I am surprised to hear the mean sounds that can come out of such a cute little person! She recently mastered whistling and snapping with her fingers, so Hugh sometimes calls her “Snappy”. She loves to go swimming, and Hugh is such a good sport about it, he has taken some of the kids to the indoor/outdoor Lehi pool three of the last four Saturdays.
We love Matthew, but he is not the easiest kid! He does a lot of screaming and throwing fits because he often can’t have what he wants when he wants it. He bullies poor little Emily, but I think he likes her. Often the first thing he does in the morning is go straight to her room and watch her sleeping in her crib. Sometimes he will just sit next to her crib and look at books while she sleeps, but most of the time, he wakes her up by yelling excitedly, “Happy Emily! Happy Emily! Look, Happy Emily is awake!” (Surprise, surprise!) He likes to go to the library to look for more books about cars, trucks, and trains, and carries his books around the house and looks at them often. He has survived the summer wearing long-sleeved shirts the majority of the time, not because he doesn’t have other clothes, just because he refuses to wear them.
Emily is officially no longer a baby, but now a toddler. She turned one on July 26th, and has been walking quite well for several weeks. I miss the little cuddly baby she used to be, but it is fun to see her personality coming out more as she gets older. She is more mobile, more communicative, and more prone to throw fits. She doesn’t talk much, just the occasional “Mom”, “Dad”, or “uh-oh” but she does shake or nod her head, wave, and seems to understand more of what we say. She is adored by her siblings and cousins, and usually enjoys the attention. She has such a cute six-toothed grin, and delights us with her bouncy “dancing.” It shouldn’t surprise me, but like all her siblings, she loves her daddy and greets him warmly even though she sees him for only a few hours every evening when he comes home from work. I guess that says something about what kind of dad he is when he is home!
I have been urging Hugh to look into working from home sometimes so that he can sleep in at least a couple days a week. We recently signed up for high-speed internet and shuffled bedrooms around so that Hugh will have an office upstairs where he can work once the kids start back to school. We will need to get a lock for that door, and it will take some time to teach the kids that when Dad is working at home, it will be just as if he were working in Salt Lake City We both always feel like there is simply not enough time to do all the things we would like to and should be doing even though we feel like we have cut out all the unnecessary stuff, so hopefully this will help a little.
We are planning our first trip to Disneyland in September, and we are all excited, especially since we were able to plan it to overlap with the Wrights’ vacation so cousins can be there together. I have put it off for years because it is going to cost a lot of money, and I wanted to make sure the kids are old enough to enjoy and remember it, so hopefully this is the right time and it will be worth the investment. Other than school starting in less than a week and a half, everything is good. We are well and happy and grateful to Heavenly Father for our family, our friends, our health, our home, and most of all, the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
June 2008 newsletter
June 4, 2008
Hello Dear Family!
How are you doing? We are doing well. I have decided that writing a bi-monthly letter is both good and bad. It’s good, because then I dread it only every other month, but it’s bad, because then I can’t remember what has happened the last two months, and then when I finally do, you have to read a novel! So however it turns out, here goes...
The kids are out of school for the summer, as of May 29th. I do enjoy having them home, and we have a pretty good system in place that gives them some structure and ensures that they are still using their brains and helping around the house. We have started out the summer pretty busy as three of the kids have camps this week, so I have had to get up early to get kids ready and transport them.
The five oldest kids played soccer in March/April/May, this being the first time the city offered the option of a spring soccer season. I’m not sure that I want to do it again next spring, partly because the weather was so disagreeable but also because it was very stressful for me trying to coordinate getting each of the kids to their twice weekly games, sometimes at the same time at different locations without Hugh’s help (since he was working late hours during tax season.) But the kids enjoyed it, and they really are fun to watch.
Steven is now a teenager (yikes!) as of May 18th! So far, so good (pretty much.) He is pleasant, sometimes responsible (we won’t mention the phone call I got from his English teacher informing me that he was failing her class because he had not turned in several assignments... Oops, I just did, never mind...) He’s getting the lower voice and the bigger feet and the acne and everything. Steven talked us into signing him up for a soccer camp at Utah Valley University which started today. He was also trying to get me to sign him up for a summer soccer club, but that would have entailed a lot more driving all over the valley throughout the whole summer, and I think I deal better with craziness if I can have some rests in between. Steven was surprised that the majority of the kids at the camp were girls, but he said it was fun and hopefully he will be able to pick up some tips on how to be a better player (I mean soccer!) Steven has signed up to take two advanced math classes concurrently next year, and while I think he is smart enough to handle it, I question whether he has the will and the discipline to pull it off. I hope he understands this will be his last chance to get it figured out (8th grade) before it really counts.
Daniel has been sadly anticipating his last weeks and days at Canyon Elementary forever (he’s a sentimental one, that Daniel) since he and Alyssa will be joining their siblings and cousins at ALA (the charter school) in the fall. ALA is piloting a new program in which students choose one of three “tracks” or areas of study with different emphases. I’m hoping that this approach will enhance each of our kids’ learning styles and help them to enjoy school and get more out of it. Daniel just returned today from a three-day, two-night fifth grade camp. He seemed to enjoy it but also seemed happy to see me when I picked him up. Daniel reluctantly finished a big poetry/prose autobiography assignment a week before the end of school, and I have enjoyed reading his writing. Sorting through his backpack full of papers, I have come across some assignments that he obviously didn’t put much thought into, like this one: “The people I admire most are... my mom and dad because they’re my parents. My biggest goal for the future is... to keep breathing, because I like to live.” Slacker – slacker with a sense of humor, but still a slacker! Daniel would like me to relax my expectations of them for the summer, but I can’t just let their brains turn to mush over the summer, so I guess I’ll have to think about a good compromise so that we can both feel like the summer was well-spent.
Julia likes having a project to work on. She has been excited about helping me come up with a schedule of things we should study during our “Brain Time” every day. This is what we came up with: math (do worksheets,) science (watch Bill Nye the Science Guy or The Magic School Bus,) history, geography, art, cooking or baking, biography, read-aloud, poetry (reading or writing.) I’m excited about the things I hope to learn with the kids. Julia, Michael, and Alyssa made chocolate chip cookies all by themselves for the first time last week. Julia asks me nearly every day if the Wrights can come over and have a sleepover, which doesn’t happen as often as she would like since Hugh still has to wake up at 4:30 every weekday morning, summer vacation or not.
Michael just finished up a four-day basketball day camp, which he and his cousin, Guts, said was mainly “TLC - torture little children.” I suppose that just means they had to do drills and exercises rather than just playing basketball - you know, doing the things that will actually make them better players. So I’m glad that they did it, but I wonder if they will choose to do it next year. Michael and Matthew share a room, and though Matthew drives Michael crazy sometimes, he really likes him. Sometimes Michael will read to Matthew, sometimes they will shoot hoops or play catch while they are supposed to be reading, but Matthew struggles to get to sleep at night if Michael isn’t in the room with him. Michael always comes home from piano lessons with four or five candies he has earned for memorizing songs. He really seems to have a good ear for music but doesn’t ever play the piano just for the sake of making music; he is much more motivated by the promise of candy or extra electronics time. Since my last letter, Michael turned eight years old and was baptized. I hope that we have taught these guys not only to do the right things, but also to seek for more understanding as to why the things we ask them to do are right so that they will be more likely to choose those right things once they are outside of our influence. Michael did amazingly well academically this year as a third grader, but he did tend to use his age as an excuse not to complete assignments he didn’t want to finish, so we will have to watch him more closely on that next year.
Alyssa (Lissy-loo) is very much into pretty hair lately. She likes to twist the lock of hair which frames her face until it sits there in a gentle corkscrew curl. She has taught herself to braid and put her hair and Natalie’s into rubber bands in different configurations (some cute, others silly.) She tried to fix Emily’s hair, but Emily has so little hair still that all she could do was slick it up into a Mohawk, or put it up in a rubber band, where it looks like a unicorn’s horn sticking out of the top of her head. Alyssa was happy to finish school and dance last month, neither of which she much looked forward to, oddly enough as she begged me for a year or two to put her in a dance class before I finally did. Alyssa and Natalie love to play with their cousin, Josie, and they spend lots of time outside on the swingset or riding bikes or inside dressing up, coloring, or painting. Alyssa and Julia have learned to roller skate pretty well in the last couple weeks.
Natalie is enjoying her newly acquired skills of riding a bike without training wheels and whistling. She is such a funny mixture- such a sweet, cute little doll-faced girl using big words and phrases like “seriously” or “in real life,” and then she can be so defiant and grumpy for no apparent reason other times. I’m afraid she is learning to be “prissy” from Alyssa, so I am trying to emphasize that how she acts is much more important than how she looks. She has been very shy (or is it just plain rude?) about talking to adults lately, to the point that Alyssa has had to accompany her to her Primary class for months now. I’ve tried to start having “special time” with Natalie for even just ten minutes a day, and she seems to relish that. Sometimes when she asks about it, I am working on something that I can’t put off until later, so sometimes she helps me finish what I am working on (and she calls this our “helping special time”) so that I will have time for “fun special time.” It is very sweet.
Matthew is such a paradox. He is so very Two - territorial, prone to temper tantrums, easily frustrated, and yet he is the kid who most often tells me “I love you, Mom” and most consistently says “thank you.” He bullies poor Emily, though he likes to hug her and “soft her” (pat her) and baby talk to her in a high voice. It is amusing (sort of) to hear him say “Go away, Happy Emily” and “I love Happy Emily” all in the same breath. He lays claim to anything he likes. Thus, all the cars and trucks or books about cars and trucks, etc. belong to him, and you’d better not touch them unless you’re prepared to fight for them. He is constantly sneaking outside to ride Natalie’s old pink, three-wheeled scooter back and forth on the sidewalk in front of our house. His ever-increasing vocabulary is not always easy to understand, though I have a better time of it than Hugh since I am home with him all day. He amuses me when he points out my “spider eyes” as he watches me put on my mascara. It makes me wonder about how he perceives other such mundane things! Matthew likes to “help” say prayers at most meals now, which is again somewhat amusing to hear as his face is buried in his folded arms with the first word and his voice muffled until the pronouncement of “Amen!” at the end of the prayer. What a little character!
Emily is ten months old now, active and curious and seeming more like a little kid and less like a baby. She just barely figured out how to crawl up and down the stairs but still makes me gasp and jump to her side when she teeters near the edge of the stairs. She walks around the room while holding onto furniture, and can stand in one place for 10-20 seconds at a time. She likes to say “huh?” as she points or gestures at things. She also likes to wave and say “hi”, and Julia is sure she taught her how to say “up,” though I’m not sure she totally understands what it means. She likes to point to the pictures of all her siblings while I name them for her. She melts us with her adorable two-toothed grin and baby giggles, but is generally stone-faced and wary of anyone she doesn’t know well. Matthew’s nickname of “Happy Emily” has stuck, even though she is not as easy-going and friendly as she started out. She puts everything in her mouth, and I have often noticed her little cheeks bulging with scary things that could choke her like game pieces or toothpaste caps.
Hugh got through an especially rough tax season, and we are hoping he and his boss can figure out some kind of arrangement so that Hugh can work either from home or from BYU a couple of days a week so he doesn’t have to spend so many hours commuting to Salt Lake City every day. Since the weather has been nicer, Hugh has started riding his bike to the bus stop. As food and gas prices have soared, I have felt a new sense of urgency to make sure we have at least a three- to six-month supply of food and non-food items stored up for emergency or disaster. I am also experimenting with cooking/baking more with wheat, both for our health and to use the food that we can easily store for long periods of time. It’s too bad I didn’t do this a year ago – it would have been a lot cheaper had I purchased the bulk of it then! It has been a cold, wet spring, and we have had new leaking in the basement, so we will probably have to dig out the three window wells at least five feet down (below the level of the basement floor) and fill them with rocks big enough to allow space for water to sit until it can soak down to the water table. We are so excited for the Dosdall Family Reunion at Bear Lake and the arrival of cousins and families about two weeks from now. We know it is a big investment of time and money to come here, and we really appreciate everyone’s willingness to make it happen.
I’m sure there’s much I have forgotten to report but this letter is too long already, so I will sign off now. We hope you are all well and happy. We love you.
Love,
Ann, Hugh, Steven, Daniel, Julia, Michael, Alyssa, Natalie, Matthew, & Emily
Hello Dear Family!
How are you doing? We are doing well. I have decided that writing a bi-monthly letter is both good and bad. It’s good, because then I dread it only every other month, but it’s bad, because then I can’t remember what has happened the last two months, and then when I finally do, you have to read a novel! So however it turns out, here goes...
The kids are out of school for the summer, as of May 29th. I do enjoy having them home, and we have a pretty good system in place that gives them some structure and ensures that they are still using their brains and helping around the house. We have started out the summer pretty busy as three of the kids have camps this week, so I have had to get up early to get kids ready and transport them.
The five oldest kids played soccer in March/April/May, this being the first time the city offered the option of a spring soccer season. I’m not sure that I want to do it again next spring, partly because the weather was so disagreeable but also because it was very stressful for me trying to coordinate getting each of the kids to their twice weekly games, sometimes at the same time at different locations without Hugh’s help (since he was working late hours during tax season.) But the kids enjoyed it, and they really are fun to watch.
Steven is now a teenager (yikes!) as of May 18th! So far, so good (pretty much.) He is pleasant, sometimes responsible (we won’t mention the phone call I got from his English teacher informing me that he was failing her class because he had not turned in several assignments... Oops, I just did, never mind...) He’s getting the lower voice and the bigger feet and the acne and everything. Steven talked us into signing him up for a soccer camp at Utah Valley University which started today. He was also trying to get me to sign him up for a summer soccer club, but that would have entailed a lot more driving all over the valley throughout the whole summer, and I think I deal better with craziness if I can have some rests in between. Steven was surprised that the majority of the kids at the camp were girls, but he said it was fun and hopefully he will be able to pick up some tips on how to be a better player (I mean soccer!) Steven has signed up to take two advanced math classes concurrently next year, and while I think he is smart enough to handle it, I question whether he has the will and the discipline to pull it off. I hope he understands this will be his last chance to get it figured out (8th grade) before it really counts.
Daniel has been sadly anticipating his last weeks and days at Canyon Elementary forever (he’s a sentimental one, that Daniel) since he and Alyssa will be joining their siblings and cousins at ALA (the charter school) in the fall. ALA is piloting a new program in which students choose one of three “tracks” or areas of study with different emphases. I’m hoping that this approach will enhance each of our kids’ learning styles and help them to enjoy school and get more out of it. Daniel just returned today from a three-day, two-night fifth grade camp. He seemed to enjoy it but also seemed happy to see me when I picked him up. Daniel reluctantly finished a big poetry/prose autobiography assignment a week before the end of school, and I have enjoyed reading his writing. Sorting through his backpack full of papers, I have come across some assignments that he obviously didn’t put much thought into, like this one: “The people I admire most are... my mom and dad because they’re my parents. My biggest goal for the future is... to keep breathing, because I like to live.” Slacker – slacker with a sense of humor, but still a slacker! Daniel would like me to relax my expectations of them for the summer, but I can’t just let their brains turn to mush over the summer, so I guess I’ll have to think about a good compromise so that we can both feel like the summer was well-spent.
Julia likes having a project to work on. She has been excited about helping me come up with a schedule of things we should study during our “Brain Time” every day. This is what we came up with: math (do worksheets,) science (watch Bill Nye the Science Guy or The Magic School Bus,) history, geography, art, cooking or baking, biography, read-aloud, poetry (reading or writing.) I’m excited about the things I hope to learn with the kids. Julia, Michael, and Alyssa made chocolate chip cookies all by themselves for the first time last week. Julia asks me nearly every day if the Wrights can come over and have a sleepover, which doesn’t happen as often as she would like since Hugh still has to wake up at 4:30 every weekday morning, summer vacation or not.
Michael just finished up a four-day basketball day camp, which he and his cousin, Guts, said was mainly “TLC - torture little children.” I suppose that just means they had to do drills and exercises rather than just playing basketball - you know, doing the things that will actually make them better players. So I’m glad that they did it, but I wonder if they will choose to do it next year. Michael and Matthew share a room, and though Matthew drives Michael crazy sometimes, he really likes him. Sometimes Michael will read to Matthew, sometimes they will shoot hoops or play catch while they are supposed to be reading, but Matthew struggles to get to sleep at night if Michael isn’t in the room with him. Michael always comes home from piano lessons with four or five candies he has earned for memorizing songs. He really seems to have a good ear for music but doesn’t ever play the piano just for the sake of making music; he is much more motivated by the promise of candy or extra electronics time. Since my last letter, Michael turned eight years old and was baptized. I hope that we have taught these guys not only to do the right things, but also to seek for more understanding as to why the things we ask them to do are right so that they will be more likely to choose those right things once they are outside of our influence. Michael did amazingly well academically this year as a third grader, but he did tend to use his age as an excuse not to complete assignments he didn’t want to finish, so we will have to watch him more closely on that next year.
Alyssa (Lissy-loo) is very much into pretty hair lately. She likes to twist the lock of hair which frames her face until it sits there in a gentle corkscrew curl. She has taught herself to braid and put her hair and Natalie’s into rubber bands in different configurations (some cute, others silly.) She tried to fix Emily’s hair, but Emily has so little hair still that all she could do was slick it up into a Mohawk, or put it up in a rubber band, where it looks like a unicorn’s horn sticking out of the top of her head. Alyssa was happy to finish school and dance last month, neither of which she much looked forward to, oddly enough as she begged me for a year or two to put her in a dance class before I finally did. Alyssa and Natalie love to play with their cousin, Josie, and they spend lots of time outside on the swingset or riding bikes or inside dressing up, coloring, or painting. Alyssa and Julia have learned to roller skate pretty well in the last couple weeks.
Natalie is enjoying her newly acquired skills of riding a bike without training wheels and whistling. She is such a funny mixture- such a sweet, cute little doll-faced girl using big words and phrases like “seriously” or “in real life,” and then she can be so defiant and grumpy for no apparent reason other times. I’m afraid she is learning to be “prissy” from Alyssa, so I am trying to emphasize that how she acts is much more important than how she looks. She has been very shy (or is it just plain rude?) about talking to adults lately, to the point that Alyssa has had to accompany her to her Primary class for months now. I’ve tried to start having “special time” with Natalie for even just ten minutes a day, and she seems to relish that. Sometimes when she asks about it, I am working on something that I can’t put off until later, so sometimes she helps me finish what I am working on (and she calls this our “helping special time”) so that I will have time for “fun special time.” It is very sweet.
Matthew is such a paradox. He is so very Two - territorial, prone to temper tantrums, easily frustrated, and yet he is the kid who most often tells me “I love you, Mom” and most consistently says “thank you.” He bullies poor Emily, though he likes to hug her and “soft her” (pat her) and baby talk to her in a high voice. It is amusing (sort of) to hear him say “Go away, Happy Emily” and “I love Happy Emily” all in the same breath. He lays claim to anything he likes. Thus, all the cars and trucks or books about cars and trucks, etc. belong to him, and you’d better not touch them unless you’re prepared to fight for them. He is constantly sneaking outside to ride Natalie’s old pink, three-wheeled scooter back and forth on the sidewalk in front of our house. His ever-increasing vocabulary is not always easy to understand, though I have a better time of it than Hugh since I am home with him all day. He amuses me when he points out my “spider eyes” as he watches me put on my mascara. It makes me wonder about how he perceives other such mundane things! Matthew likes to “help” say prayers at most meals now, which is again somewhat amusing to hear as his face is buried in his folded arms with the first word and his voice muffled until the pronouncement of “Amen!” at the end of the prayer. What a little character!
Emily is ten months old now, active and curious and seeming more like a little kid and less like a baby. She just barely figured out how to crawl up and down the stairs but still makes me gasp and jump to her side when she teeters near the edge of the stairs. She walks around the room while holding onto furniture, and can stand in one place for 10-20 seconds at a time. She likes to say “huh?” as she points or gestures at things. She also likes to wave and say “hi”, and Julia is sure she taught her how to say “up,” though I’m not sure she totally understands what it means. She likes to point to the pictures of all her siblings while I name them for her. She melts us with her adorable two-toothed grin and baby giggles, but is generally stone-faced and wary of anyone she doesn’t know well. Matthew’s nickname of “Happy Emily” has stuck, even though she is not as easy-going and friendly as she started out. She puts everything in her mouth, and I have often noticed her little cheeks bulging with scary things that could choke her like game pieces or toothpaste caps.
Hugh got through an especially rough tax season, and we are hoping he and his boss can figure out some kind of arrangement so that Hugh can work either from home or from BYU a couple of days a week so he doesn’t have to spend so many hours commuting to Salt Lake City every day. Since the weather has been nicer, Hugh has started riding his bike to the bus stop. As food and gas prices have soared, I have felt a new sense of urgency to make sure we have at least a three- to six-month supply of food and non-food items stored up for emergency or disaster. I am also experimenting with cooking/baking more with wheat, both for our health and to use the food that we can easily store for long periods of time. It’s too bad I didn’t do this a year ago – it would have been a lot cheaper had I purchased the bulk of it then! It has been a cold, wet spring, and we have had new leaking in the basement, so we will probably have to dig out the three window wells at least five feet down (below the level of the basement floor) and fill them with rocks big enough to allow space for water to sit until it can soak down to the water table. We are so excited for the Dosdall Family Reunion at Bear Lake and the arrival of cousins and families about two weeks from now. We know it is a big investment of time and money to come here, and we really appreciate everyone’s willingness to make it happen.
I’m sure there’s much I have forgotten to report but this letter is too long already, so I will sign off now. We hope you are all well and happy. We love you.
Love,
Ann, Hugh, Steven, Daniel, Julia, Michael, Alyssa, Natalie, Matthew, & Emily
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