Hello All!

I haven’t written an update in four months! Recounting in my mind why it has taken me so long to write again, I realize that my life lately has become a series of crazy-busy times. I keep thinking that once I get through this “next thing”, my life will slow down - and it just never happens. There will always be more to do than I can possibly get done. I just have to figure out what are the most important things, and make sure I give my attention first to them, and then let that be enough. My memory is not what I wish it were, so I know I need to write things down or they will be lost not only to me but to our children as well.

Our kids are already three-fourths of the way through the school year – wow! As a 9th grader, Steven is changing in many ways. He is now a good five inches taller than I am. He has fully outgrown the “girls have cooties” stage and now admits to having a crush on one of his girl-friends. That seems to have changed the dynamics of his core group of friends somewhat, though I hope they figure out how to maintain their friendships despite the teenage drama. Steven has a confidence (which is beginning to border on cockiness – but I’m determined to keep that in check) about his intelligence that keeps him from measuring himself by the grades he earns… That’s a great philosophy if you have no intention of going to college, where they make decisions about scholarships and admissions based on grades! If he would exert just a little more effort and discipline, he would have all A’s. He has inspired us to put in place more stringent standards for his younger siblings so that they can learn that underperforming is not acceptable well before it has such big consequences as lost scholarships and other lost opportunities. But otherwise, Steven is a good kid. He treats others respectfully (except maybe his brother, Daniel, since Daniel’s favorite pastime is bugging Steven,) he is pleasant, responsive to my requests for help, and generally a good big brother to his siblings. Our kids would like to invite guests for dinner every weekend, but I’m generally not willing – not because I don’t like to visit with people, but because the bulk of the cleaning and cooking becomes my burden. Steven finally talked me into getting together with his friends’ families, and he made good on his promise to help get the house and food ready. So I might consider it more often than once a year…

Though Daniel was despairing while watching Steven go through his growth spurt less than a year ago, he is now taller than I am. He enjoys being a T.A. (teacher’s aid) for Julia’s teacher (who was his 6th grade teacher last year). Daniel, Julia, and Alyssa are the kids most willing to take care of Katelyn when I need help. Daniel and Steven will be playing soccer on the community league again this spring with a couple boys from the neighborhood. Even though he is progressing well, Daniel looks forward to his 14th birthday, when he can quit taking piano lessons. He much prefers to express his creativity and sense of humor with technology, making movies with Windows Movie Maker or silly sketches with Adobe Flash, or going outside to ride his unicycle. He amuses me with his on-purpose malapropisms, like when he says something is very “confiscated” instead of “complicated”. Since Daniel has been wanting a Rubik’s 4x4 cube for a long time, it finally dawned on me that that might be a good carrot to dangle in front of him – and it worked; he earned all A’s and one A- this last term.

Julia is a very low-maintenance person. She is very responsible about keeping on top of homework and school projects, and conscientious about doing things thoroughly. She is so helpful with the baby; I have left Katelyn in her care for an hour or two at a time at least half a dozen times, and she manages well and seems to enjoy doing it. (She is the only kid who has braved changing a messy diaper.) Sometimes she responds immaturely to the annoying things her little siblings do and is understandably peeved when she finds that someone has eaten her candy or tampered with her things while she was at school, but otherwise she gets along fine. Julia has an inquisitive mind and enjoys learning how things work. We had a full week off school recently because of three scheduled vacation and two furlough days, and since the kids would normally be in school, I suggested that we each pick something to research and about which to teach each other. Julia was the one who made up the schedule and kept us on task on the days we reported to each other.

Michael has been very busy the last couple of months. Including basketball, futsal (indoor soccer) and scouts, Michael had five practices/games/meetings to attend every week. He (and the other three older kids) have been on hiatus from piano lessons on and off since December because their teacher is busy finishing a music degree at BYU. In the meantime, they have discovered the music of Jon Schmidt. (Look him up on YouTube if you’ve never heard him…) Steven and Michael especially have practiced a lot more in the last couple of months because they so enjoy playing his compositions. We attended one of his concerts last month (which was great fun – he is such a showman!) and are looking forward to attending at least a couple throughout the summer. The one drawback to all this is that there is rarely a moment of quiet when the older kids are home; apparently, it is more fun (for them) the faster and more loudly they play. I bite my tongue for as long as I can, but sometimes my head hurts or my stress level is already too high and I have to ban them from playing the acoustic piano for an hour or two. All the boys readily devote time to piano practice in order to earn extra electronics time.

Until recently, Alyssa has done so much better this school year than last emotionally and socially, but lately has complained more of stomachaches and earaches. I always wonder whether her illnesses have a psychosomatic component, but nothing seems like an obvious cause when I have talked to her and pondered it. It is particularly difficult to know how to handle her complaints when her siblings doubt her sicknesses and ask why I let her miss school. She is still shy but has more friends and seems to feel more comfortable at school. At home, she is Matthew’s special friend and advocate, which he really needs at times. We were planning to have Alyssa baptized in early February (after her 8th birthday on January 22nd) until we found out there was a mix-up in dates, and most of our extended family would be unable to attend. We decided to put it off for a couple months until April 10th so that both sets of grandparents can attend and be involved in the program, and she is very excited about that.

Natalie is thoroughly enjoying kindergarten. She is very social there (despite being shy in other settings) and has improved her reading skills to the point that she can read simple chapter books on her own. She has done much better at taming the temper monster lately. I love to hear her animated reports of things that happened at school each day.

I didn’t think potty training could get any worse, and here we are, four months after Matthew’s 4th birthday, with three kids still in diapers. I have learned from past experience that potty training is within the child’s control, and as much as a parent coaxes and coerces or rants and raves, it is still ultimately the child who decides when it will happen. I have been very patient and I have tried not to let potty training affect my relationship with Matthew, but I guess I haven’t done very well, as Matthew’s favorite ammunition to sling at me lately is, “You don’t even like me!” Sometimes I think he is just trying to manipulate me, but other times I fear that too much of our interaction is tainted with my exasperation with the whole thing. So often I wish I could get inside the heads of my children to understand what they are thinking and what motivates them! Matthew developed an interest in drawing and coloring within the last few months, and has really improved his fine motor skills a lot. Most of his time is spent in imaginative play with Emily. I can often hear the falsetto conversations their favorite cars or stuffed animals (Eldon the Elephant and Tiger) have as they go on their daily adventures around the house. I think it is very amusing unless I have a headache or I’m trying to keep Katelyn asleep. Matthew would love to play with friends every day, but I usually use that as a privilege he has to earn by going on the potty. He is slowly learning that asking quietly and kindly for things he wants yields faster and better results than automatically whining and demanding.

Emily, now 2 ½, is still quite a character. (Is it the left-handedness, I wonder? I remember thinking some of the same things about Daniel when he was her age…) She can be charming and sweet, or Terrible Two. It is fun to see things from her perspective; for example, she calls tissues “paper noses” (like paper towels, but for noses.) She makes sweeping declarations like “I don’t like boys!” which can quickly change to “I don’t like girls!” based on who has most recently offended her. She likes to pull the piano bench over to Hugh’s dresser to rifle through his stuff until she finds something she likes (candy, gum, cough drops.) She finally lets me pull her hair back most days, so she doesn’t look quite as ragamuffin as she did for awhile (though she still often picks out her own outfits, and it is not uncommon for her to spend the day wearing combinations like green dinosaur pajamas and a pretty pink dress.) After more than a year of refusing to go in the Nursery at church, Emily has suddenly decided not only that she will survive it, but that she actually likes it.

Katelyn, five months old now, is a bundle of joy. We all love to make her laugh and smile. Though she has gone through phases of being demanding and fussy, overall, she is a happy, easy-going baby. Her red hair is a startling contrast to her soft, round little features. We are still waiting to see if her eyes will turn brown like all our other babies’ did. We have to be careful because she is learning to control her hands and likes to grab whatever gets within her reach (hair, plates full of food, etc.) Katelyn sleeps through the night much of the time, thanks to her ability to get her thumb to her mouth. She has a sweet little voice and rarely gets really mad (unlike some of her siblings!)

Hugh is even more sleep-deprived than usual as he has been working longer hours with the April 15 tax deadline quickly approaching. I have put way too many hours into my Parent Council (PTA) fundraising responsibilities at the charter school over the last couple of months with helping to organize a silent auction, book fair, and reading program, as well as a Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet. I need to figure out if there is some way to scale down my part of the work so that I can still be involved at the school, but not be so busy that I am overwhelmed and ignoring my kids – who are the whole reason I volunteer at the school. We are anxious for my parents’ return April 2nd from their 18-month mission in Chennai, India, during which four new grandchildren and their first great-grandchild were born. We are also excited to see Sharon and some of her kids, who will be driving here from Michigan for a visit during their/our Spring Break the day after our parents return.

Though busier than we might like, we are well and happy and grateful to God that we are able to do all these things that keep us so busy! We hope you are doing well.

Our new baby

Hello Everyone!
Now that our baby is a month old, I figure it‘s probably time we get an announcement out, and write down all the gory details before I forget them (but please don’t feel obligated to read them – I just know I don’t have enough RAM in my brain to store all this information for very long – anyone know an easy way to upgrade to a better system?)
So, here’s the short story:
Our little Katelyn Nicole was born on Tuesday, October 20th at 6:52 p.m. She weighed 6 pounds, 9 ounces and was 19 inches long. She has a little bit of dark red peach fuzz on her head, and newborn blue-gray eyes. She is doing well.
Here’s the long story, if you want the details:
October began in a crazy rush, with the new carpet installation I had been both putting off and looking forward to since we first moved into this house and realized what an awful choice green carpet is if you have kids and don’t want to vacuum multiple times every day. That nesting instinct kicks in during the last six weeks or so of a pregnancy, especially when you’ve gone through it once or twice and you know that your newborn will be dictating most of your schedule for the next six to nine months, from how much sleep you will get to what time you will finally get to take that much needed shower. So I had been spending as much time as I could sorting and getting rid of things and repainting baseboards while I could do it without worrying about dripping paint on the carpet. We were also just finishing up soccer season with the six older kids. I was achy and not sleeping well – waking up every 1-2 hours during the night. At the same time, it was quickly becoming apparent that my role of “overseeing” Red Ribbon Week at the kids’ school was changing to that of organizing Red Ribbon Week as I could find no one to step up and take over. About this same time, my blood pressure readings were starting to creep up at my weekly doctor’s appointments. By the time Fall Break came in mid-October, my readings were high enough that I would either need to be induced or put on bed rest. Struggling with trying to balance conflicting desires – wanting to make sure this baby was really ready to be born, wanting to keep Daniel’s birthday his alone (October 18), not wanting to disappoint the kids by cancelling our Fall break get-away plans, and wanting to get a few more things checked off my “to do list” before the baby arrived – I was hoping to put off the impending birth. We ended up taking the kids to the hotel, zoo, aquarium that Friday and Saturday as we had planned, and the following Monday I went to my doctor appointment, when the doctor decided that I would be induced the next day. After having tried to get the H1N1 (Swine flu) shots on Monday afternoon unsuccessfully, we woke up early Tuesday morning and went to the Health Department before school, and after more than an hour of waiting in line were able to get all of us (and my sister, Jeannie) the immunization. We ran the kids to school, I packed my bags and tidied up the house, and we left for the hospital (with the youngest two in my sisters’ care.)
We checked in and the admitting nurse at the hospital promptly forgot about us for a full hour and a half while we waited not-so-patiently. I was finally put in a room, hooked up to monitors and an IV with a Pitocin drip at about 3:15. Everything seemed to be going fine; the contractions were becoming stronger and more frequent, though I was not dilating as much as the contractions led me to think, even after I got an epidural. At one point, the baby moved and the monitor lost her heartbeat. The nurse came in to reposition the monitor. After she tried unsuccessfully to locate the heartbeat, she called in a couple more nurses to try. At first I wasn’t worried, but after about ten minutes, I was beginning to think something more was going on. The nurses called the doctor, and fortunately he had decided to stay at the hospital after having broken my water, so it took him just a couple minutes to come in the room. Though the nurses and doctor were very professional, it soon became apparent that the situation was not perfectly routine as the nurses tried to put a scalp lead on the baby’s head to monitor her heartbeat, and finding that it was down in the 80’s rather than 130 to 180. At the same time, the doctor checked and found that I was dilated only to a 5. His comment, “It’s okay if you do this when you’re dilated to a 10, but not so good when you’re at a 5,” quickly brought me to the realization that this little baby was in distress, and things might not turn out just fine. Miraculously, within five minutes of the time the doctor arrived, I had dilated to a 10, pushed once, and the baby was born. That was also the moment blood gushed out and one reason for the baby’s distress was discovered: the placenta had detached from the uterine wall at some point, depriving the baby of her source of oxygen. She was fairly pink when she came out, which was a good indication that she hadn’t been without oxygen for too long, but she had also inhaled a lot of blood. When the nurses cleaned her up and brought her over to me so they I could see her before they took her up to the NICU, there was blood bubbling out of her mouth. They whisked her away to put her on a CPAP machine, which would inflate her lungs to ensure that they would not collapse while the blood and fluid was being cleared out. After having watched her for an hour on the machine, the nurses were satisfied that the baby was okay. Three hours after she was born, I finally got to hold my little baby. The next day when the doctor came to check on me, he said, “Someone was definitely watching out for you. I couldn’t have gotten you back and ready for a C-section as quickly as you dilated and pushed her out.” So we are especially grateful that everything turned out well, that our little baby is here safe and sound, and that I am healthy and strong, too. We are all enjoying her very much and are so glad she is here and part of our family.

Wow, how quickly the time has passed! I have been awful about writing, and now that this baby will be here in less than two weeks, I figured I better make this a priority before my life gets even busier.
A lot has happened in the last few months. I left Hugh and the kids at home while I flew back to Michigan for a sisters’ (plus one brother) weekend (with Hugh’s blessings) mid-August; we had a wonderful three or four days together. It is the most relaxing time I have had since I started having children – Sharon and Chris are wonderful hosts, and I never eat better than when we get together with Belknaps, Enderles, and Jana! The kids started back to school the day after I arrived back home.
Two weeks after I returned from Michigan, I received the news first that my brother David had had his fourth heart attack in 3½ years, and a couple short hours later, the news that he had never revived, and had passed away. I suppose I should have been more prepared for it than I was, but I was shocked to hear that after having seen him just two weeks before, looking healthy and happy – the same fun, jovial David I always remembered. None of us considered then that it might be the last time we would see him. Looking back, I am just so grateful for that time that we had to see him, to say good-bye without even knowing we were. I feel at peace that he was a good, kind, person, and that he loved us and he knew we loved him. We will always miss his sense of humor and his pleasant presence. I am sad that my children never really got to know him – they would have loved and enjoyed him the way anyone who knew him did. My parents were unable to make it to the funeral as logistics and finances kept them at the orphanage in India where they have been serving a mission for the LDS Church, but all twelve of the other siblings were able to make it back to Michigan to be together and support and enjoy each other despite the loss of our dear brother. We continue to pray especially for Cynthia, Jana, and John, as they feel the loss most deeply.
Life was especially crazy at home through all this so I really appreciate Hugh covering so that I could be with my siblings. The six older kids played soccer this season, so it was a bit tricky getting everyone to the cumulative thirteen games and practices each week in addition to school and all the regular stuff, but the kids sure enjoy it and it is fun to watch them. We were all ready for things to slow down, though it seems like other things seem to fill in where we thought we would have gaps once soccer ended in early October. We had new carpet installed upstairs a couple of weeks ago, and in anticipation of that I was trying to sort and de-clutter as much as I could, as well as repaint the trim while I would not have to stress as much about dripping paint on the carpet. Overall, I’m glad I was able to get as much done as I did, but my body was beyond exhausted at the end of each day, and still achy when I would wake up in the morning. I have been much busier with Parent Council/PTA responsibilities at the charter school than I had thought I would be, but hopefully that will calm down for a while.
The kids are home for the next few days for Fall Break, so we are planning to go stay at a hotel in Salt Lake City (somehow that makes it seem like more of a vacation) and go to the Hogle Zoo, since some of the younger ones have never been. My blood pressure has shot up in the last few days (as it has at the very end of other recent pregnancies) so there is some question as to whether I will need to be induced next week, but for now we’re planning to just watch it and go ahead with our plans and hopefully have some good family time this weekend. We are excited for this little baby to come, though we are still struggling with settling on a name – hopefully we will just know what fits when we see her!
Now, for an update on each of the kids…
Steven is in high school now! I have tried for the last two years to help him understand that he has to discipline himself to stay on top of his grades, and he just finished the first term with all A’s/A-‘s! I had some qualms about having him start 9th grade in Pre-Calculus (that’s where I ended high school math!) but so far he is doing well, and it would be an option for him to retake it next year without that looking too bad on his transcript. Steven has been socializing more with a group of girls lately, which is strange to me but I think a very healthy thing in that they are all just friends (though he might want it to be more at some point) and seem very comfortable just hanging out together and playing games, talking, watching movies. I like to have them here because then I get a better feel for how they interact, personalities, etc. and I’m assured that they are good kids. Steven still likes to hang out with his guy friends, too, but as he put it, “I spent the first eleven years of my life thinking girls had cooties, so now I’m just making up for it!” Steven has spent a lot of time playing music by Jon Schmidt (look him up on Youtube if you’ve never heard his stuff - “Waterfall”, “All of Me”, “Dumb Song”) and now a couple of the other kids are learning some of the same pieces because they like them so much. Of course, it might also be that they can earn electronics time by playing extra piano time, but in any case it’s nice to have something they enjoy playing.
Daniel enjoys the varied schedule of 7th grade, and like Steven, is accompanying the orchestra on the piano. It’s a great experience for them both to have to read music on the spot and perform with some pressure to maintain composure even when they make mistakes. He usually hangs out outside during lunch and comes and says hi to me and the little kids when I bring Natalie for kindergarten in the middle of the day. I wish I could help him not to be so shy - Daniel is a good, sweet, kid with a funny sense of humor – and I’m sure other kids would enjoy his personality if he would venture out a little more. Daniel will be turning 13 in a few days (on October 18th) and we plan to pick up this weekend what he requested and found in the classifieds for his birthday – a unicycle. (I told you he has a sense of humor!)
Our lives aren’t all about piano, but I have to say that I am impressed when I watch these guys play – especially Julia with her tiny hands flying up and down the keyboard. She did an amazing job accompanying the Primary children for one of the songs in the Sacrament Meeting Program. Julia is doing well in school and I appreciate her being responsible for keeping tabs on her school assignments. She has been reading tons lately (any good fantasy/adventure books you can recommend for my older kids?) She does not enjoy our current chore system of each person being responsible for a certain room or “zone” in the house for a week at a time, but she generally does it and does it well. She is helpful in playing with the younger kids except for Matthew – he can be difficult, and she gets right down on his maturity level and clashes with him. I’m hoping that instead of having lots of conflicts, these varied personalities in our family can teach us all how to get along with many different personality types. Some of us aren’t getting it so well right now!
Michael is enjoying 5th grade. He has made friends with a kid in his class who is also very smart and excels at piano. I wondered at first if they were more competitors than friends, but we have since had him over and they seem to get along great and enjoy each other’s company. Their teacher at school lets them play the piano in the classroom for the last 15 minutes of school when they have wrapped everything else up, and I think that has motivated Michael at least as much as the candy bars his music teacher gives him to learn pieces quickly and play them fast. That has become a bit of a sore spot between us the last little while as I keep telling him it’s much more important to play it correctly than it is to try to impress everyone and play it fast. He really enjoyed playing soccer this season since his Uncle James was his coach and his cousin, Guts, was his teammate (and his team finished the season undefeated.)
Alyssa seems to like her teachers at school (team teachers -Lewis & Clark- seriously!) She has made friends, and she is doing well academically. But she wakes up nearly every day (and sometimes during the night) with a stomachache. She also still gets headaches at least a couple times a week. She seems happy and healthy in general, so I’m unsure whether her symptoms have a straightforward physiological cause or whether there is some psychological component to them. I always wonder whether there’s something I’m doing (or not having enough time to do) that would change things. Alyssa spends a lot of time making things and making messes (just like I used to when I was young) – cutting up paper, drawing, etc. She is helpful as an ally to Matthew – he seems to rub people the wrong way a lot lately, and Alyssa is careful to try to guide Matthew away from trouble. He often wants her to sleep with him at night.
Natalie has adjusted very well to kindergarten. She enjoys having her friend from our neighborhood in her class with her. She often gets bored and wonders why she can’t play with friends as often as her older siblings (usually because she doesn’t want to tidy her bedroom or do her music homework.) She is our Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde these days – she can be sweet and endearing one moment and then yelling like a wild animal and throwing a fit the next. I’m trying to help her understand that she is in charge of her emotions, or at least her actions – that it’s possible to choose how to respond to an unpleasant situation instead of just reacting to it. I appreciate it when she decides to be helpful and will do the morning chores or sort laundry with me.
Matthew is a ball of enthusiasm and energy. Unfortunately, lately this has been more bad than good. He has an intense personality; he is demanding and easily frustrated. He will be turning 4 next month, and while I was hoping and trying to have him potty trained before this baby is born, it doesn’t appear that it will happen. He and Emily latched onto a stray cat that stayed at our house for a couple of weeks – as adamant as I was that I did not want a pet, I nearly lost my resolve when I saw how much they loved that cat and how very tolerant and good-natured it was to them. They had named it (Tiger) and would check as soon as they woke up and every time we came back from running errands to see, “Is Tiger home?” We rarely see her anymore – hopefully that means someone else was charmed by her and took her in. Matthew loves his BYU shirts and his monster truck shirt so much that one day he collected all the laundry and loaded it in the washer so that he could wear them again.
Emily is such a little character. She is definitely two – she has her opinions and knows how to throw a fit – but she is really fun. She talks so much and so well (at least around her immediate family) and surprises me with how much she understands, remembers, and can anticipate what is coming next. I often find her in the pantry perched precariously on a stool, snitching gum or candy. She is frequently Matthew’s accomplice in getting into trouble – piling a laundry basket full with books (and then refusing to put them away) or raiding a sibling’s room and scattering their belongings. But everyone has a soft spot for her and somehow she is quickly forgiven. She refuses to go to sleep until everyone in the house has gone to sleep and all the lights are off, and even then she growls at me in the dark until she finally tires of it and goes to her bed. I’m guessing things will be a bit tricky once the baby comes and I am up and down many times each night – hopefully she will sleep through it. She and Matthew like to look at my distorted belly and say affectionately, “I love that cute baby, Mom!” I hope they still think that when that cute baby cries and takes Mom’s attention away from them!
I should sign off now, but I promise to post an update when our little one arrives.

Wow – I can hardly believe we are already more than halfway through the summer! I have enjoyed the more relaxed schedule of the summer – sleeping in, not having to take kids to and from school, not having sports or events scheduled every night of the week. We had a great time visiting with my brother, Derek, and his wife, Alyson and kids in early June. The kids all got along so well – we hope they can end up here in Utah within the next couple of years at least.
Since my last two pregnancies were so hard, when I found out I was pregnant, I dropped our tentative plans for a trip to Mt. Rushmore this summer (which would have required a lot of driving and walking around.) Fortunately, this pregnancy has not been as bad as the last two, though I still have times of nausea every day and I am starting to feel and move like an old woman! Lest the kids remember this as the summer we did nothing, I will name some of the things we have already done: Jumpin’ Jacks (a place with giant trampoline-type inflatables), Discovery Park (a big playground structure in Pleasant Grove), fishing with Uncle James (Kristen’s husband), swimming lessons, Veterans Pool, “camping” in the back yard, Lehi Pool, Freedom Festival Hot Air Balloons, 4th of July Fireworks, mini-golfing, BYU Planetarium, Walter Wickes’ “I Spy” Exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art, and visiting the huge Spanish Fork windmills. We also plan to go to Seven Peaks Waterpark, Clark Planetarium, a petting farm, and camping with the extended Wilkins Family before I go back to Michigan in August for a “Sisters’ Weekend”.
I have realized this week just how spoiled I have been this summer since Steven and Daniel are gone at Scout Camp. Up to this week, I have been able to leave at least some of the younger kids at home with Steven and Daniel in charge when I go run errands – it makes me appreciate them as well as how much harder things will be when school starts again, and then when the new baby comes! We had to promise bribes of dinner or breakfast at their choice of restaurants in order to talk Steven and Daniel into going to Scout Camp and actually earning the merit badges for which they signed up. Until very recently, I have struggled to understand why I should force our boys to participate in the Scouting Program other than that our Church endorses the program. I am just beginning to understand that the program was developed in order to help boys learn how to become men. They learn life skills and how to be responsible citizens, as well as having the opportunity to interact with lots of good male role models. Since I haven’t always had this attitude, the boys have been resistant to suddenly embrace all the added work and meetings involved. Hopefully they won’t resent me at the end of all this! Steven, Daniel, and Michael have spent a lot of time this summer doing extra chores and piano practice in order to earn extra electronics time. It has been really nice for me to have chores done that normally just nag at me because I don’t have the time to get to them! Steven attended his first Youth Conference (a several-day retreat for the 14-18 year-old church youth) and he enjoyed it. He has also spent a fair amount of time emailing/instant messaging a girl friend (notice that is two separate words!) from school. I’m pretty sure they are just friends (which is all they should be since they are both only fourteen years old) but this relationship has introduced us to new territory in the parenting department. Steven has been to Taieno’s house for a pool party, and we have had her here to hang out and play games with the family. She is one of eight children, she seems very nice and down-to-earth - she was even comfortable with the craziness and antics of our household and with talking to me. Steven will be starting 9th grade (high school!) next month and all this makes me feel very unprepared and like I must be getting old!
Daniel has enjoyed making a series of “Bumble Rumble” movies with Windows Movie Maker (which he has posted on YouTube, in case you are interested…) He has an interesting sense of humor, and I’m glad he has found a good way to keep busy and use his creative brain during the long days of summer. Daniel really has his heart set on getting a dog, and he has put a lot of time into researching breeds and was even going to take care of the Wrights dog for 10 days while they were on vacation. I nixed that after one trial night when she whined and kept me (and, I fear, the neighbors) awake nearly the entire night. The kids loved having her here, but it would definitely have been a lot of work to keep the younger kids inside the house (out of her territory and messes.) I feel bad for Daniel, but while we still have small children and until I know the not-so-fun aspects of having a pet would not become my responsibility, I am just not willing to take it on.
Julia is so excited to be celebrating her 11th birthday on July 16th. We won’t be having a friend birthday party (I decided a couple years ago we would do those only for even birthdays,) but hopefully we can do some other things to warrant her excitement and make her feel special. She is excited that she will legally be old enough to babysit younger children, as up to this point I have not left her alone in charge of younger kids. Sometimes she can be very responsible and motivated: she can bake just about anything without my help, she has changed Emily’s diaper on occasion, and she plays well with most younger children. But then other times she is very petty and easily bothered (especially by Matthew) and doesn’t handle it very maturely. She always finds things to do (lots of reading, this summer) and has enjoyed getting together with school friends more.
Michael has played lots of electronics this summer – it seems to be the only thing he wants to do! On the upside, that means he has also done lots of extra chores and practiced the piano a lot. I should also acknowledge that he is much more pleasant to be around and has made a lot of progress in controlling his temper.
Alyssa’s favorite activity this summer has been catching butterflies. She has a generous sprinkling of freckles and pink skin across her nose and cheeks due to her daily hunts. We bought a little butterfly house and have ordered butterfly larvae. She especially is excited for them to arrive in the mail so that we can watch them turn into butterflies. The headaches and stomachaches which plagued Alyssa so severely this spring seemed to subside for most of a month after school let out for the summer. She has started complaining again a couple times a week, but it usually seems to coincide with her desire to sleep in our bedroom or upstairs on the couch. I really need to be better about journaling her activities and diet and symptoms so that we’ll have some baseline for comparison if this gets worse when school starts.
Natalie is generally a cheerful, pleasant person to have around. She occasionally becomes pouty and walks around with a grumpy face to show me her displeasure, but it doesn’t usually last very long. She loves to play with her Julia and Alyssa, and on the rare occasion that they are both gone, she frets, “What will I do while they’re gone?!” She is reading simple chapter books, but doesn’t do it unless I make her (like during our mandatory reading time every day.) She is very sweet about thinking to thank me for things like dinner or taking her somewhere. She split her chin open after slipping off a stool while sitting at the counter and was a trooper about getting the five stitches to close it up again. Natalie will be starting kindergarten in just a little over a month.
Lucky for him, Matthew is a cute boy. He has such an expressive face and such energy…that’s the good side. The bad side is that he can be so impatient and demanding, and he angers quickly when he doesn’t get his way. He has further torn up the wall in the bathroom during his frequent incarcerations there. I’m trying to teach him how to appropriately interact with other people even when they do things he doesn’t like, and that his actions have consequences. We have made very little progress on the potty front, which distresses me as we have just over a month left before school starts. I’m not sure how to get him to want to do it, but I think I at least need to be more consistent in making him try several times a day, or I will be very sorry when this baby comes if I have three kids in diapers again. We had three baby birds which hatched in a nest in one of the trees in our yard. After having found two of the birds dead within a couple days, we were happy to find the third bird alive but weak on the grass beneath the tree. All that first day the kids were so attentive, feeding it moistened bread and giving it shade. They were careful not to touch it, but loved to go and watch it. Matthew asked, “Is that baby bird part of our family now?” We were all so sad the next morning to find it sprawled out on the grass, dead, away from the safety of the box we had prepared and placed it in to keep it dry and warm while the sprinklers were set to go off during the night. When we watched the ultrasound of our baby, Matthew kept saying things like “That baby is awesome!” or “She’s so cute!” We are struggling with figuring out a name for this baby, but I will probably ignore Matthew’s suggestions of “Cougar” and “Lightning McQueen.”
Emily will be turning two years old on July 26th. We so enjoy her spunk and charm. She greets her siblings with such enthusiasm and warmth that they all adore her, even when she gets into their things. She will carry on simple conversations by reminding me of things - like the pig-shaped hot air balloon we saw a couple weeks ago, or the baby bird – “Baby bird died. Sad.” Any time someone comes to the door or calls on the phone, she has to know immediately afterward, “Who was that, Mom?” She and Matthew have a sort of love-hate relationship. Many times a day and during her sleep she will say, “Maffew be mean. Maffew hurt me.” But they share a room, and each wants the other in the room at night and they greet each other happily in the morning. Matthew will search for the many stuffed animals Emily likes to carry around the house with her. Emily says the cutest things, like when I was finishing giving Matthew a haircut, “Maffew beautiful!” Speaking of hair – hers is getting long, and she still won’t let me pull it back, so she looks pretty shaggy most of the time (but we still think she’s cute!) Getting Emily to bed has become a struggle since she climbs out of her crib and cries as soon as I put her there unless I have taken the time to cuddle her to sleep beforehand. I enjoy the cuddle time, but sometimes it’s very inconvenient to have to lie down with her when I have other things I need to do and I know I’m going to fall asleep if I stop moving for that long.
I am now about 25 weeks into this pregnancy (15 more to go!) I can feel the baby move quite a bit now, and this is most fun part of the pregnancy for me and the kids as well, as they all want to sit next to me to feel the baby move. We are all excited for her to come, and I am thankful that I am not as nauseated as I was earlier in the pregnancy.
Everything is good – we always seem to keep busy. Hugh is always tired from his early morning commute – but we appreciate how well he takes care of us. We hope all is well with you.

Ultrasound Picture: It's a ....

GIRL! We are so excited to meet her! And we are grateful that she appears to be healthy.

May update

Wow, has it been a long time since I last wrote! It is too easy to not write, since life is always busy and I don’t enjoy writing. But much has happened over the last three months. Our biggest news is that we are expecting a baby at the end of October. More than with other pregnancies, I feel very much at peace with this. I knew the pregnancy would be hard; I knew another baby would mean more work and more craziness in our household. But neither Hugh nor I felt the peace that we expect to feel when our family is complete, and our kids all hoped and asked often about whether we were going to have more children even though they are now old enough to understand that it means more work for them as well. We all enjoy each other and are glad every person in our family is part of our family (well, most of the time, anyway!) I will admit, once the nausea started about five weeks (three weeks gestation) into the pregnancy, I had to wonder how I forget so quickly how miserable pregnancy can be. Really, I didn’t forget; I guess I just figure it’s worth it, and I must be learning something through the hard times – no matter how it turns out, right? So anyway, we are excited that Heavenly Father will (hopefully) be sending another little spirit to our home about six months from now!
Hugh got through another tax season. It didn’t seem as bad to me since we splurged and got high-speed internet, so Hugh was able to get some work done at home on the weeknights and Saturdays. Hugh was worried about me having to take care of everything on the home front while I was feeling so sick, and it was rough for a month or two, but I do think this pregnancy has been easier so far than the last two were in terms of the severity of the nausea. I’m still nauseated all the time, but it is generally tolerable until evening. I tried to talk the kids out of playing Spring Soccer this year because I remembered how stressful it was trying to get two or three kids to games in different locations at the same time, and having to leave someone at a game alone since I felt like I should attend the game of the youngest child playing at the time. So only Steven and Michael are currently playing soccer, and since Hugh is now available, it is manageable. I enjoy watching them play, especially as they have gotten older and try harder. I have been busy with my responsibilities on the Parent Council at the kids’ school, as well as my church callings. I started reading the Twilight books again after having seen the movie a few weeks ago. I haven’t read much just for fun in my lifetime, (especially not since I started having children) until a few months ago, and I really do enjoy getting into the drama of a good story as well as learning new things in the non-fiction I’ve read lately. I haven’t felt as guilty about lying around reading as I otherwise would since it distracts me from feeling quite so nauseated. I am not as efficient as I used to be, and I’ve given the kids more of the burden of cleaning the house, but I think overall it has been a good thing.
Steven will be turning 14 later this month. Wow! Fortunately, he is still a pleasant, easy-going presence in our home. This semester in school has taught him that he does not want to take two advanced math classes and two sciences at the same time – not that he couldn’t handle it, but because he has to work harder than he wants to! That’s okay- I think life just gets more demanding as you get older, and I want him to have some time for play while he’s still a kid. Steven has learned to write basic programs in his computers class, and he and Daniel have written some silly choose-your-own-adventure-type programs. Steven has accompanied his Intermediate Orchestra class on the piano for a couple of the numbers in the last couple of concerts, and it has been good practice for him to play through his mistakes, as I’m hoping he is learning to do so that someday he will be able to put his talents to use playing the hymns at church. Steven still enjoys reading (though I have a hard time finding books within his preferred genre he hasn’t read yet), playing electronics (though we have had to cut back on that when he hasn’t kept his grades up), getting together with friends (though that is sometimes hard since most of his school friends live in other cities,) and playing soccer (he asked me to add!)
Of all our kids, Daniel is the most certain that we have two more spirits waiting to join our family, so he was thrilled when I announced the news that we are having a baby. He recently became very frustrated with piano again and begged me to let him quit, giving me the analogy of being forced to run a race he never even wanted to enter. I sympathized with him, but then extended the analogy with myself as the coach/parent, looking at my young son with underdeveloped muscles and limited lung capacity, and, knowing that he will have many hard times in his life, I decided to require him to run this race because he will be stronger and better prepared in the end whether or not he wanted to run it at the time. So he is now working hard at learning the hymns, which is the “finish line” of this race! When Alyssa mentioned that a girl in her class was giving away puppies, Daniel became obsessed with getting a dog. He even asked whether it would help his case if he started changing diapers. He has researched breeds online and he and Julia are begging me to give in. I told them that the only way I will consent is if they show me, consistently and over time, that they will fulfill their responsibilities at home (chores and piano practice) even when the excitement of the goal wears off. Like Steven, Daniel accepted the challenge to accompany the elementary orchestra on the piano, and though his first run through was “scary and embarrassing”, he has improved a ton in the two days since he got the sheet music and I think he will do just fine in the performance for the whole school in a few days.
I appreciate Julia being a “self-starter” when it comes to completing a school project (even if it is the night before it is due) and cooking breakfasts and baking treats for the family. She has courage when it comes to taking on challenging tasks, like playing a difficult piano piece or wrestling Emily into her car seat. She has been somewhat argumentative and petty in her interactions with her younger siblings lately; hopefully we can get it under control before school is out (when the opportunities for conflict will be multiplied.) In general, the kids really do get along well, so I try to point out to them how much happier we all feel when we are being kind and trying our best not to be offended by each other. She has enjoyed socializing with some of her school friends after school more in the last couple of months.
It has been so much fun to watch Michael play soccer this season. When I asked him why he is so much better this year, he responded simply, “Effort.” He has been much more pleasant in general lately, though he often skips doing his chore or piano even though he is not supposed to be able to eat dinner until his things are done (which he often gets away with when I am too preoccupied to check up on him.) Michael turned nine years old on April 4th, and most of his siblings gave him candy. After noticing that he had neglected to do his chores and skipped dinner for most of a week, I finally clued in to the reason it was possible he could be alive while eating so little, and confiscated the remainder of his birthday candy. I am such a mean mom. Michael ran a one-mile fun run with the Wrights and did well even though he has not run long distances more than a few times. He is outwardly shy and serious, but has a lot of confidence even in his unexplored abilities and doesn’t hesitate to take on challenges that appeal to him.
Alyssa has done better this semester with going to school, but her personality seems to have changed. She is more defiant and impulsive, still needy and complaining often of headaches and stomachaches. (If you have any insights into the psychology of what might be going on, please share them - I really want to understand so that I know how to help her!) She and Natalie finished their Let’s Play Music class and while they are glad to be done for the school year and have a break, I’m glad that we participated because I think it has given them a good foundation in music theory. She and Natalie had planned to put on a talent show for their friends and family today, but since I wasn’t clear on the format or content, (much to their dismay) I wouldn’t extend invitations to anyone outside of our immediate family.
Natalie has done so well during the last few months at preschool with mastering all the prescribed skills, including reading. I think it has become a competition between her and a boy at the preschool who started bringing books home at the same time as she did. She often helps me with chores in the mornings after we take the older kids to school. I am so amused by her five year-old rationale: the last few times Hugh has given her baths she insists that he go out while she gets undressed and into the bathtub (as if he won’t see her naked little body the whole time he is bathing her!) She has tried to be more pleasant and helpful, though sometimes her angry monster voice sneaks out and I have to shake my head and wonder how such a cute little person can make such mean sounds. Both Natalie and Alyssa love to play with their cousin, Josie, and they wish their cousins were still attending the charter school with them.
I have been working hard with Matthew to get him out of the habit of whining and demanding things. He can still be pretty melodramatic and over-reactive, like when he throws himself across the room after being nudged or even offended by someone, acting as if that person has inflicted brutal force on him. But I have to say that his enthusiasm is his most charming characteristic. It is gratifying to hear his animated “Woo-hoo!” or “Yes!” when he sees a tractor while we’re out driving, or when someone finds one of his Cars cars (Lightning McQueen or Mater), or when we’re having something he likes to eat. Despite the many bribes we have offered him, he still wants nothing to do with potty-training. I really want to have him trained before this new baby comes, and with any luck, Emily might learn if she watches Matthew. Matthew turns on the TV every chance he gets (and has gotten away with it more since I have not been feeling well) and I sometimes feel guilty about that. We recently started making Matthew take off his Speed Racer hat indoors when it occurred to me that his brain might develop a blind spot where the visor blocks his vision 24 hours a day. Matthew really likes Emily but he is often too rough with her and kisses or hugs her when she does not want his affection, so she gets edgy whenever he gets too close. Matthew and Emily both prefer their dad over me, which somehow I am okay with. (Maybe it’s because sometimes they insist that he change their diapers…)
Emily, 21 months old now, is such a little person. She talks well and understands a lot. She observes and imitates what she sees, which is great - like when she says “Bless you!” when someone sneezes, or when she folds her arms for the prayer, and bad - like when she is angry with me and yells, “Stupid Mom!” or “Bad Mom!” She is very affectionate – she gives lots of hugs and kisses (sloppy, right-on-the-lips kisses, which are gross since she has had a cold/runny nose for most of the last three months.) She is curious and independent, and I often find her pulling chairs and stools around the house to get into things she shouldn’t. She is cute, but often looks very scrappy with her hair in her face (since she will not let me pull it back) and food on her clothes and face (because she feeds herself and her accuracy with utensils is not so great.) But she has a fun personality and we all delight in watching her learn new things. We had to come up with a seating schedule because the kids all fight over the opportunity to sit next to Emily going to and from school. She loves to jump and run and play outside, but usually insists that one of her adoring siblings (who are easy to persuade) go with her to play outside.
Life is busy but good. We are excited for the end of school in a couple of weeks. We aren’t planning any long trips this summer since I don’t think I’ll be up for it, but we’ll do some fun day trips and outings. We hope you are happy and well.